http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/tags/kids-at-risk YWN Coffee Room » Tag: kids at risk - Recent Posts en-US Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:56:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/search.php http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-19032 Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:32:58 +0000 noitallmr 19032@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I heard from someone who has seen it black and white in a Sefer that R Elyashiv paskened it's OK for a Bocher to smoke once a day.</p> <p>Not recommending just for the knowledge... </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-18927 Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:06:23 +0000 Esther1 18927@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Is there an organization that assists in rehabilitation? or guides people where to go for help? </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17697 Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:24:41 +0000 jewishfeminist02 17697@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>We tend to forget that Hashem owns not only our houses, cars, and clothing, but our bodies as well. It is an absolute aveirah to destroy or injure our bodies in any way since they are only on loan from Hashem and do not really belong to us. Therefore, it is assur not only to use illegal drugs, but also to smoke cigarettes and to abuse alcohol.</p> <p>See Shemot 19:5 as one of many examples that illustrate this idea. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17549 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:29:26 +0000 Esther1 17549@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Mchemtob-Thanks for the number.</p> <p>Brooklyn-Thanks. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17527 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:25:02 +0000 000646 17527@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>i think being addicted to hard drugs does not happen by accident because of experimenting, it is usally a sign of some sort of abuse. we should try to take care of the problems of abuse that we have in our community and then hopefully the drug problem will lessned or go away </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17525 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:12:25 +0000 jewishfeminist02 17525@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p><strong> EDITED by YW Moderator-72 to remove personal question </strong></p> <p>I happen to think that this is a ridiculous thread title. Of course there's a drug problem in the frum world, and anyone who says otherwise is either EXTREMELY ignorant or else just trying to cover it up for the sake of "lashon hara" or some other such excuse. I personally know of tens of teenagers who abuse drugs as well as alcohol and cigarettes. Sadly, it is still perceived as "cool". I think it's terrible that in an age when we KNOW nicotine is highly addictive, and we KNOW its terrible consequences- e.g. the physical dregs of one cigarette take four weeks to completely leave the body- so many of our young adults still pick up that first cigarette. A few decades from now, many of them will probably be trying desperately to quit on doctor's orders and will wish that they had never started in the first place, by which time it may actually be too late for them to save themselves. Illegal drugs like marijuana are a hundred times worse. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17490 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:22:13 +0000 brooklyn19 17490@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>esther - go the SBH online. or google "sephardic bikur holim" </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17487 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:19:11 +0000 chaimss 17487@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I think that while all this is true and must be dealt with, we should also remember that there is still that (hopefully) majority of bochurim and girls who don't do this stuff, and opening up the drumhead can have some major negative repercussions on those bochurim who may be trying to stop on their own, or perhaps just started, and could be taken care of without exposing them. The problem should definitely be addressed, I'm just not sure names should be exposed.</p> <p>Oh, and for the record, I never drink except Shabbos, etc. and I've never smoked. Ever. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1/page/2#post-17472 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:58:12 +0000 mchemtob 17472@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>call sbh at 718-787-1100 they will direct you to safe wich also has an outpatient treatment and therapy facility in a remote area in bklyn. the building has no signs or indentifiable at all as to insure the privacy of client and family. safe also does pick ups after parties if pple suyspect that their driver is drunk and are stranded or if they themselves are acknowledging they are a bit tipsy. Good Luck! </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17465 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:40:28 +0000 lesschumras 17465@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>"This may end up in a chilul hashem, i dont think this should be discussed in a public forum that people can and will take it in the wrong way. This may also be considered loshon haa against the some "frum" or "jewish" people. Im not a rov but just a thought."</p> <p>Funny, you don't have a problem with loshon hora when condemning people for violations of your znius standards </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17462 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:29:33 +0000 intellegent 17462@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Bob M<br /> Did you happen to read the mishpacha this week? </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17461 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:24:34 +0000 000646 17461@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I dont think that people generaly get addicted to hard drugs just by accident from experimenting, I think that most times there is some underlying issue such as abuse (as this is the case by all the people I know who are addicted to drugs wich is only a few but still its ALL of them.) There are certain types of abuse that are rampant in our community that people just brush under the carpet for fear of making a chilul hashem, i think if these would be properly addressed it would help the drug problem a great deal. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17448 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:52:16 +0000 Esther1 17448@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Mchemtob-</p> <p>Do you have a number to this project? I am interested in finding out more about this. Thanks </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17445 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:26:17 +0000 mchemtob 17445@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>there is a group that helps deal with these issues in flatbush it is a project called safe where they actually go in to the schools and talk to the kids about gambling, drinking, drugs, peer pressure etc. in some schhols the kids even get assignments to come up with scenarios and solutions to what if you r friend...my parents dont get me....and they even meet with a safe mediator to talk. the help is out there please have the courage to ask for it. it's a matter of life and death </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17438 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:06:37 +0000 Bob M 17438@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>There is, in particular, a problem with presicription drug abuse among the frum girls in this community. I'm sure there is an issue among the boys as well. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17389 Sun, 14 Dec 2008 01:59:23 +0000 Esther1 17389@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Don't let this thread fall away, as it is unfortunately a very relevant, malevolent, and prevalent topic. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17243 Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:27:48 +0000 SJSinNYC 17243@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I actually brought the subject up with my mother when I was a teenager. She had no idea (back then it was not even thought of AT ALL) that there was a problem. She knew I would never try anything (and I did not), but I made here aware at how easy it was to get drugs if I wanted. One of my friend's brother's room always smelled like pot (so my friend told me - I was never in his room and I have no idea what pot smells like); his friend used to bring hash brownies to her house. You can ask almost any teenager to go on a mission to get some drugs and they will have very little trouble finding a person who can get some for them. </p> <p>This was ten years ago, and I am sure the problem is even more rampant now! </p> <p>Honestly, I have no idea all the different drug names and paraphonelia. I know crack is a white powder. I know marijuana is smoked. But I wouldnt recognize it! You dont have to detail what illicit drugs looks like, smell like etc to warn them of the dangers. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17216 Fri, 12 Dec 2008 10:08:35 +0000 myshadow 17216@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Oomis i like that thanx! I'm not holding by kids yet but I"yh I'll try to remember it!</p> <p>Brooklyn, I definately do that's why I'm would like to know a way to educate them without over exposing ya know what I mean? </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17132 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 23:15:16 +0000 Esther1 17132@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>As a mother of teenagers, I can tell you the answer is unfortunately yes. It's not only those who have nothing to do with their lives. Too many teenagers, (yes, I personally know of several,) are experimenting with drugs. The consequences are frightful! Teenagers will find out about it, regardless of whether or not it is discussed at home.</p> <p>Parents, please, do yourselves and your precious children a favor. Discuss it with them BEFORE they reach that point. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17101 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:38:50 +0000 oomis1105 17101@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>When you talk to your kids about eating properly for good health, brushing their teeth, so they don't get cavities, getting enough sleep, not smoking cigarettes, why can you not also talk about illicit drugs. When the kids (who are old enough to understand) get antibiotics, this is a perfect pitchon peh for them, to initiate the concept of drugs that doctors prescribe for you to help you be healthy, and drugs that are never prescribed for people, because they only make people unhealthy and are illegal. You tailor the conversation to the age and comprehension level of the child. Just like the facts of life. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17085 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:19:33 +0000 brooklyn19 17085@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>myshadow: don't you remember finding out things your parents never told you? they'll find out anyway. the question is, how? </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-17077 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:11:43 +0000 TOHIGHSCHOOLGUY 17077@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>very simply ... yes </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-16937 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:10:17 +0000 myshadow 16937@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I agree that we have to educate our children to prevent them from all this but personally I really don't want my kids knowing about crack and pot if it's not necessary. so how to we created a middle way where we can educate our kids but not have them too exposed? </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-16843 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:46:22 +0000 000646 16843@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Child molestation and drugs are rampant in the frum community and these problems are swept under the carpet for fear of looking bad.</p> <p>i know a few substance abusers in our community and all of them were also abused and having nowere to turn because either because they think no one would beleive them (people will say "what that guy is an erliche yid he would never do somthing like that") or they are just told to be quite and they watch the person walk around and be treated as a good jew they get severly dissilusioned with life and turned to drugs for comfort. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4523 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:34:03 +0000 teenager 4523@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>tzippi- my parents wouldnt hurt from a kiruv sshabbaton but they dont know im off the derech and i dont plan on telling them<br /> bentzy18- yea i am happy im in therapy and shes beyond amazing but its not a quick fix and sometimes it just gets to hard to continue on, I'm scared of telling my parents, more than just protecting me I'm scared of how they will handle it and that they might get angry which will hurt me and trun me off and they have enough on their plate, my mother just got diagnosed with cancer and they dont need this on top of everything, I will continue to try to handle it myself, they are not responsible for the abuse, diffrent types of abuse happened with diffrent people,but I was raped by a family member and I cant tell them that, they cant know tihis, Im used to being alone despite how much it hurts, my boyfriends my main support he made me frum again but he doesnt know that I still have problems and questions about Judiasm that nobody will answer. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4520 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:12:07 +0000 teenager 4520@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>the question of is there a drug problem in the frum community is the equivalent of what color was george washingtons white horse, you would have to be blind or have your head in the clouds not to see this. I am 18 and went off the derech for a little, and I used pot twice (marijuana) but I entered a world I never knew exsisted, I knew frum people used drugs but never realized how many people use it and in what large quantitied its used and how easily they can be obtained. i was offered other things but never used them but there is a mjaor problem and something needs to be done before its to late, I have heard and seen to many bad things that resulted from taking drugs </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4498 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:14:59 +0000 Bentzy18 4498@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I agree that there should be more done in the Yeshiva to make kids aware. However, as a parent, if you feel that your kids are not getting enough information about this, then do something about it. </p> <p> 1- Contact the Yeshivah (better if you get a group of parents) and say that you would like them to address the issue and offer to help them set it up.</p> <p> 2- Speak to your kids abour drugs. Get in the habit of having deep conversations and being able to talk about such heavy duty topics. Know who their friends are, what type of friends they are, where they hang out and know what type of things they do in their free time. (make your home a place where they feel welcome) </p> <p> 3- Speak to your Rav at shul and see if you can organize something more local. Speal to people at Mask or ohel or wny similar group and they might have someone who would be willing to speak.</p> <p> All of us have responsibilities in this matter. However when we feel that the others are not doing their part, then it's up to us to rise to the challenge. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4477 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:19:51 +0000 careful Hashem reads these 4477@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I wish that schools would educate our children on this topic. Most just see it<br /> glamorized in society (and by peers). It has become cool to go to a party to get<br /> "smashed" and to lose control. All too often I hear teens (and adults well into their twenties as well) talk about the party they went to and how crazy they were. Society seems to feel that losing control and having no inhibition is a good thing.</p> <p>Well how do you think our children accomplish that.... </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4457 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:11:21 +0000 just me 4457@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>A few years ago I went to a MASK symposium on "Teens at Risk". I a man who recently lost his son spoke. Many rabbaim spoke. Among many things said that night, they educated the parents what to look for.<br /> I think the yeshivas should talk to the kids about the danger of all substance abuse, but if they insist on having their heads in the sand, at least they should educate the parents.<br /> I don't really think any thing will happen though. Most yeshivas are still too busy saying it doesn't happen in THEIR yeshiva and worrying that it might be bitul Torah or the parents might take kids out if they don't learn more that the yeshiva down the block. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4426 Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:25:19 +0000 bored@work 4426@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Yes there is a big problem, but there are things that are being done to take care of it. The problem is not enough, because in flatbush people take care of their box of life and thats it, They know that their is a problem, because if other people are doing something about it. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-drug-problem-in-the-frum-world-1#post-4401 Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:34:12 +0000 shtuyot 4401@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>oh<br /> and lets not worry about our kids wearing jeans when there are more crucial and severe things to worry about. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4286 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:30:57 +0000 Bentzy18 4286@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Teenager, I'm glad to help in any way that I can. I'm really glad as well that you have a therapist to help you work things out. In our case the progress was slow but steady. The realtive who was living with us was able to grow out of his issues and to see the world as a much better place. As for the abuse, while I think it is very imprortant that you deal with it and get some sort of closure on it, it is not wise to rush the process any faster then you are ready for it. You just have to make sure when the time does come to deal with it, that you do so that you can move forward. </p> <p> As for your parents, you seem to be in a bind. On one hand you don't want to hurt them but on the other, you are (possibly) cutting off an avenue of support that will help you in your struggles. Unless they are responsible for the abuse I don't see why you can't involve them on some level. This doesn't mean that you have to tell them everything about where you are holding in yiddishkeit, but you can say to either one of them that you are having difficulty with certain concepts. There is a Rabbi in Monsey (Rabbi Ezriel Tauber) Who deals with Kiruv for "frum" people. Many religous jews go for a spiritual boost and he has been helpfull in connecting many non religoius individuals as well. Here is a link to some of his lectures, <a href="http://www.aishaudio.com/ssi/aish/speaker/rabbi-ezriel-tauber.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.aishaudio.com/ssi/aish/speaker/rabbi-ezriel-tauber.php</a>. He is also known to answer the tough questions that people may ask. If you go to Eichlers, he has many books out there that you might emjoy as well (I'm sure many lending librarys would have his material as well) This is a viable source for you to look into, without having to worry your parents. However, you wanting to sheild them from pain is commendable, but they are your parents and may just rather to be upset a little for the short term then having to find out later that you have had many unresolved problems for many years.</p> <p> One last thing, if your parents were the ones responsible for you abuse, (and we don't need to know this bit) you have the right to deal with this despite the fact that they might be hurt in the process. Obviously you are not looking to go out of your way to hurt them but you need to heal also. When the time comes speak with you therapist who will help you walk through the process and deal with the abuse (this goes for whom ever abused you)</p> <p>ABCD123: While I would say rejection is one of the biggest, but you are right that it's a big source of frustration to be told that you can't ask valid questions and have to rely on a faith system that you don't understand. Knowing the reasons for why we keep shabbos, keep kosher, cover our hair, put on tallis and teffilin will only serve to make the mitzvah all that more special. We as adults have to stop being afraid of either saying that we don't know the reason or that tough questions will lead a person off the derech. </p> <p> As for Yeshivos and Beis Yaakovs, I'm sure they are out there. When we look for a high school for our kids we might want to ask straight out if there will be Rebbiem that our children can go to in order to ask tough questions. Or at least lead them to someone who will. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4281 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:20:51 +0000 yoshi 4281@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>abcd1234 - In Neve, they have a similar idea in some of the classes, but the questions aren't asked aloud, The students would write their questions on a piece of paper, and put in a box, so when the Rabbi would read the question, it would be anonymous, and no one had to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. -I agree with you 100% about having a class here in the states for the sole purpose of questions the students have on anything they may be confused about, or understand further. I just wish they had something like this back when I was in school... </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4248 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:03:14 +0000 tzippi 4248@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>As a parent I don't think your parents would hurt at all from a kiruv Shabbaton. Don't they know about the therapist? Do they know about the abuse? Maybe I shouldn't speak for mothers who are experiencing this but if it's not too presumptious, as a mother I would be thrilled to see you getting involved in any authentic Jewish way, even if off the beaten track. And a lot of FFBs from fairly uncomplicated situations thrive on the so called kiruv Shabbatons. Just focus on doing what's going to help you grow. That will give your parents nachas. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4239 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 03:43:47 +0000 abcd1234 4239@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>I had an idea which i repeat, is just an idea, and i'm not sure if this was brought up at all since i havent been following this topic too religiously but i would imagine some teens go off because they dont get answers to their questions and most schools dont really offer any kind of formal class where its possible to ask and be answered so i was thinking maybe it would be worth the schools having a class like once or twice a month which would go under the name of "kiruv-training" or something like that and would be directly geared to answering questions that teens have (which are often the same as those of baalei teshuva) the questions could be asked in a way where no one would be embarrassed since its not just a side point of the lesson but a class actually intended for questions and dealing with those kind of "issues". in addition it would possibly help for teens to have somewhat of an interest in kiruv even if it would only be used down the road </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/3#post-4222 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:16:53 +0000 teenager 4222@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>thanks for all the responses and support everyone<br /> yoshi- I'm happy I'm in this state young but what if I still feel this way when I'm older? And I know you said I'm not alone but I feel that way, I have reached out and experienced the worst thing; rejection, I dont want to have to beg for help, I want someone to care, I kind of dont want to be this way and thats a good thing and I should be easier to help if someone just cared. I am just starting college so hopefully that will take up some time. Thanks so much, I will take up your offer and contact you.<br /> Feif Un- I have one thing diffrent from you is that I'm a girl so the guys did care about me for different reasons, I have nothing to do with that crowd anymore, but they did protect me and wouldnt let me take drugs. I cant go on kiruv shabbatonim because my parents cant know about this, I dont want them hurting the way mothers on this site are. The ironic things is I used to teach and tutor in JEP and other kiruv orginizations.<br /> Bentzy 18- Thank you so much for your support. For the first time in my life I have a really good therapist that i started going to 4 weeks, and for once i really fell like I'm making progress, but I have so many issues that we hardly even talk about the abuse and because shes modern Orthodox we dont really talk about religion. Thanks for all the sites, I will check them when i have more time. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/2#post-4207 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:42:55 +0000 af al pi cain 4207@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Just a thought, from one who has been in this parsha for a while: the real heros of kiruv are those working with the off the derech young people. Rabbi Shimon Russel, addressing a conference on Off the Derech, said that the whole inyan of OTD was to cause the klal to do teshuvah. I understand this better as time passes. When we do kiruv with this population, unlike the kiruv with tinokos she'nishba, we must in the process face our own shortcomings, face what is wrong with us that caused the young people to leave yiddishkeit. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/2#post-4134 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:34:43 +0000 Feif Un 4134@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>lkaufman, you can't force her. She has to want it for herself. You have to accept that might not occur for a while. You can mention it to her, and see how she reacts to the idea. Explain that it's a weekend in a hotel, no pressure at all, etc. You can even offer an incentive to her, as most hotels where they hold these events have a spa. Offer to pay for a spa treatment on motzei Shabbos if she attends lectures over Shabbos.<br /> One other option you might want to consider is Neve in Israel. My wife went there, and it played a huge part in her becoming frum again. I know many friends of hers who also did very well there, including one girl who came in claiming she had no interest being frum, and was going to spend exactly one week there, no more. That girl ended up spending over a year there, and is now married to a guy who's sitting in kollel. It might be worth looking into. They can probably also advise you on how to convince her to go there at all. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/2#post-4131 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:28:49 +0000 Bentzy18 4131@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Dear teenager, as many others who have read your post, I am touched by what you have wrote. I'm in between meetings at the place where I work, but I'YH I will set up an email acount to reach me (as well as anyone else who needs support or to network) later on. </p> <p> You need a good therapist as well as a support group who can help you out. I'm not sure where you live but if you contact priority 1 or mask they will have some good resources for you. As it happens to be, the relative of whom we have been dealing with, his therapists' wife dealt with girls off the derech and at risk. They have just moved to Israel this past year, but I will contact them and see if they know what sources are available for young women like you. </p> <p> I have googled a few links, look into them and see if they are of any help to you.<br /> <a href="http://www.jacsweb.org/index.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.jacsweb.org/index.html</a><br /> <a href="http://www.projectextreme.org/mission.asp" rel="nofollow">http://www.projectextreme.org/mission.asp</a><br /> <a href="http://www.priority-1.org/home/index.asp" rel="nofollow">http://www.priority-1.org/home/index.asp</a></p> <p>and worthwhile to look into <a href="http://www.ohelfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&#38;task=section&#38;id=6&#38;Itemid=32" rel="nofollow">http://www.ohelfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&#38;task=section&#38;id=6&#38;Itemid=32</a> although I don't know if they deal with teens at risk. </p> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/treatment-of-teens-off-the-derech/page/2#post-4121 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:30:46 +0000 lkaufman 4121@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ <p>Feif Un - any suggestions how to get a teenager to go on these Shabbatonim if they have no interest in being frum or going? I would love for my daughter to go but she has no interest? </p>