<![CDATA[YWN Coffee Room » Tag: parody

<![CDATA[YWN Coffee Room » Tag: parody - Recent Posts]]> http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ en Tue, 21 May 2013 20:16:50 +0000 nfgo3 on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-440767 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:02:09 +0000 nfgo3 440767@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Ty, the opening poster, writes in part: "The police and paramedics broke out in laughter, quickly figuring out that the sign and dummy were nothing more than a creative Purim endeavor by the boys." Do you mean to tell us that the police and paramedics have knowledge about Purim pranks? That's unbelievable - I don't me that's terrific, I mean I cannot believe that. Who does the public relations for the Chicago frum community? If this story is true, they are doing a remarkable job - or the Chicago cops really know their neighborhoods. This name is already taken on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-440743 Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:37:38 +0000 This name is already taken 440743@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ B.U.M.P A.G.A.I.N Baal Habooze- what does B.U.M.P. stand for BaalHabooze on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-438923 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:54:58 +0000 BaalHabooze 438923@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ ok WIY, I had that coming..... LeiderLeider... on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-438883 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 15:35:14 +0000 LeiderLeider... 438883@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ So Morris decided to distribute his wealth while still alive. Didn’t want his family bickering over the Yerusha. Morris decides he will sell his own palatial home and divvy up the funds amongst his 12 children, but the deal was that he lives at a different child’s home each month of the year. Things are working out pretty well for awhile when one day Hymie, Morris' old friend, finds Morris sleeping on a bench in the park. "Morris, what happened to you"? Why aren’t you with your children? "Or Hymie, what should I tell you, it's a Leap Year this year"! WIY on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-438858 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 14:56:36 +0000 WIY 438858@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ snort BaalHabooze on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-438843 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 14:15:34 +0000 BaalHabooze 438843@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ > B.U.M.P.< What did one hungry guest say to the other hungry guest at the party? Mishenichnas "hors d'oeuvres" Marbim B'Simchah! A freilichin! hereorthere on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-121773 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:06:37 +0000 hereorthere 121773@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ They take $10 in excessive taxes and give back 20 cents and we are supposed to say "Thank you wise and benevolent government". And it does not even apply to everything anyway, like stoves and ovens for example. OlieV on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-121771 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:42:08 +0000 OlieV 121771@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Part of the stimulus package, similar to Cash for Clunkers (and we all saw how well that worked out) is government rebates for buying greener appliances, especially Energy Star appliances. They are initiated at the state level. So far, there are Minnesota appliance rebates, and now <a title="Appliance Rebates : can you cash in your old appliance?" href="http://personalmoneystore.com/moneyblog/2010/03/02/iowa-appliance-rebates-can-you-get-one/">Iowa appliance rebates</a>. Energy Star appliances cost the same as others, and can save you about a payday loans worth on water and electricity – so if you were going to buy a washer and dryer anyway, what's it going to hurt? d a on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-121088 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:01:45 +0000 d a 121088@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Yesterday, I was so drunk, I couldn't talk in a straight line... asdfghjkl on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120671 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:38:09 +0000 asdfghjkl 120671@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Lichvod Shobbos Koddesh: Chulent is like a credit card. Enjoy now, pay later...!!! asdfghjkl on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120670 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:35:49 +0000 asdfghjkl 120670@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ SIGN IN A BANK: Due to the Jewish holiday of Purim we are out of pennies!!! Sorry for the inconvenience...!!! asdfghjkl on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120669 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:35:12 +0000 asdfghjkl 120669@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Some1 from Willy came 2 Monsey & Asked if its Purim already, cuz he saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way- Through the driver's door!!!!! asdfghjkl on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120668 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:34:32 +0000 asdfghjkl 120668@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Last Purim I got hit by a parked car, tipped over a cordless phone and fell through a window into my house...!!!!!!!! A600KiloBear on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120218 Tue, 23 Feb 2010 11:41:04 +0000 A600KiloBear 120218@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ BS"D Ahmed, a Hamas terrorist, showed up ready for work at a Tzahal base in Shomron. The soldiers on base were terrified as they attempted to somehow stop him from detonating himself as he had entered when they were eating in the mess hall one Thursday night. All of a sudden, Getzel, a haredi reservist serving as a mashgiach, started to speak to Ahmed in Yiddish, to the surprise of his fellow soldiers who nearly shot him instead of Ahmed. Then, the terrorist removed his wires, removed his vest and let sappers throw it away, as he took a broom and swept the kitchen, after which he was served a bowl of cholent. Of course, Getzel was now the hero, and his commanding officer wanted to know what he said: "Oh, it is quite simple, really. I remember Ahmed when he was a boy, he swept the floors in my uncle's shlachthoiz (mashcheta) in Geula until they stopped letting Arabs in to work by us. He told me he wanted to join his father who got 71 beautiful brides in Gan Eden when he blew himself up somewhere, so I tell him, listen, my shvigger, she should live long, you know, a long way away from me, now lives with us and believe me, it's Gehennom, not Gan Eden. And then I ask him, so you want 71 shviggers like your father, that is such a bad Gehennom you can't even imagine!? So I tell him, Ahmed, take off your jacket, it's hot, let the soldiers take it and go sweep the floors and I'll give you a bowl of cholent like my uncle Yossel did every Thursday night, you remember that.....now THAT'S Gan Eden!" A600KiloBear on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120197 Tue, 23 Feb 2010 07:48:48 +0000 A600KiloBear 120197@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ BS"D A harmless dummy hung in the spirit of Purim in Chicago ---- They should have hanged a harmful dummy in Teheran instead! A600KiloBear on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-120196 Tue, 23 Feb 2010 07:47:42 +0000 A600KiloBear 120196@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ BS"D I received the following from a drinks distributor who is very concerned about underage drinking on Peerim: "I can provide you with kosher lemehadrin Iranian alcohol free turpentine from the same barrel that Homon drank from before he went up on the 50 amois swing set. $300 a gallon is 20% off the usual price of $200 a gallon and it is under the hashgocho protis of Erev Rav Yishmoel Dovid Weiss and Haham baLeylot Ahmadinejad of Teheran. Please fax as many credit card numbers and bank transfer details to my associate Mgobongo Akadele Prince in Nigeria and I'll ship 3 gallons out to you in time for you to serve the turpentine at your Purim event. (Yes, turpentine burns and you can use whatever is left to set an insurance fire to cover the cost of the turpentine!)" asdfghjkl on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119965 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:48:10 +0000 asdfghjkl 119965@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ A600KiloBear: you outta have more in store for us, keep em coming! ronrsr on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119847 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 02:07:53 +0000 ronrsr 119847@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ from 1793-1933, Inauguration day was March 4th. The 20th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States changed Inauguration Day to the 20th of January. I quote from Section 1 of that amendment: "Section 1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin." Chanukah and Purim also occur on definite days, though that is not to be found in the Constitution. d a on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119828 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 23:17:00 +0000 d a 119828@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I KNOW the Inauguration was on January 20th. oomis on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119796 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:33:25 +0000 oomis 119796@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I thought the Inauguration was on January 21st. ty on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119782 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:08:37 +0000 ty 119782@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ it's in jan. goody613 on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119781 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:04:21 +0000 goody613 119781@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ no its not inaugeration is in february d a on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119769 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:51:52 +0000 d a 119769@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ The first Jewish Holiday after inauguration day is Chanuka, but anyways! A600KiloBear on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119728 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:26:45 +0000 A600KiloBear 119728@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ BSD (Thanks Smartcookie but I'll be gone Shushan Purim :)) Kind of an oldie, a rehash of one of the first Creedmoor posts anywhere: Give your matnois le'evyoinim money to the Federal Koilel Relief Fund: We provide essential aid such as free 2000 dollar sheitlach, Prada tichlach, Lexus repair and lease payments, new chandeliers, and lavish simchas including simcha outfits to Federal Koilel almonos, meaning women whose husbands are learning in FK and did not leave them with access to the offshore bank accounts, so that they can support themselves and their "yesoimim" with the bare essentials of the pre-Federal Koilel haimish lifestyle. How often do we hear the cry of a "Federal Koilel yosoim": "Mommy, Tatty's partner is out and his son is having a huge Bar Mitzvah because he was smart enough to moiser Tatty!" "All the other girls wear a new Shabbos dress every week and I've been wearing the same Prada for 2 months now ever since Abba went away!" And what of the eishes chayil who is embarrassed to tell her neighbor whose husband is now on trial himself: "Byla, I ripped my Prada tichel last night and Gimpel is in Otisville again! Can't you lend me one?" The cries of those who are suffering are heard in the boutiques and department stores, in the car dealerships and at the shaitelmacher's, where their huge and frequent orders often brought parnosso, cash, no questions asked, to our local merchants which enabled them to keep overcharging the rest of us poor schnooks who pay on credit. Help these poor children and women whose fathers and husbands have done so much to get their names on the buildings where you daven and learn by sending your matnois le'evyoinim gelt to us. smartcookie on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119714 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:29:17 +0000 smartcookie 119714@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Welcome back Kilo600. Nice to hear from you !! ty on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119713 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:09:29 +0000 ty 119713@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Subject: One Breath. "Why were the ten sons of Haman hanged in one breath (a reference to the custom of publicly reading the names of the ten executed sons in one breath)? - In order to ensure that the Supreme Court would not issue a restraining order in the meantime." ty on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119710 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:03:33 +0000 ty 119710@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Subject: Ten reasons for celebrating Purim. 1. Making noise in shul is a mitzvah. 2. Levity is not reserved for the Levites. 3. If you're having a bad hair day, you can always wear a mask & no one will know who you are. 4. Purim is easier to spell than Khanuka, Chanukah, Chanuka, Hanuka -- the Hebrew name for the Festival of Lights. 5. You don't have to kasher your home and change all the pots and dishes. 6. You don't have to build a sukkah and eat outside. 7. You get to drink wine & you don't have to stand for Kiddush. 8. Mordechai - 1; Haman - 0. 9. You won't get hit in the eye by a lulav. 10. You can't eat hamentaschen on Yom Kippur. 11. Mordechai - 1 ; Haman - 0!!!! Subject: White House Purim. The first Jewish President of the United States has been inaugurated, and the first Jewish holiday that follows is Purim. So he calls up his mother to invite her to the White House for Purim. Their conversation goes something like this: Prez: Mom, with Purim being the first holiday after my inauguration, I want to celebrate it with us at the White House. Mom: Oh, I don't know. I'll have to get to the airport and... Prez: Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send a limo for you to take you right to the airport! Mom: OK, but when I get to the airport, I'll have to stand on the line to buy a ticket and check my baggage. Oh, it will be so difficult for me. Prez: Mom, don't worry about standing on lines or any of that. I'm the most powerful person in the world. I'm the President. I'll send Air Force One for you!! Mom: Well, OK. But when I get to Washington, I'll have to find a cab and... Prez: Momma, please! I'll have a helicopter waiting for you. It will bring right to the White House lawn!!! Mom: Well, yeah. But where will I stay? Can I get a hotel room... Prez: Momma, we have this whole big White House!!!! There will be plenty of room!!!! Please join us for Purim? Mom: Ok, I'll be there. Two seconds later, she calls her friend: Mom: Hello, Sadie?!! Guess what? I'm spending Purim at my son's house!! Sadie: Oh, the doctor? Mom: No, the other one. A600KiloBear on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119490 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:06:20 +0000 A600KiloBear 119490@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ BS"D (back only until Shushan Purim and ONLY for Purim spirit) Little Horeshtigoleh* Ahmadinejad, the seven year old illiterate daughter of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (aka Homon) and his wife Azam Farahi (Zeresh ishtoi) is being hailed as a hero for turning Iran into a nuclear state and thereby enabling her depraved father to impotently threaten the world once again. "All I did was to figure out how to use the microwave that Mommy brought home from the city dump last year," the young girl said. "Mommy is too busy walking the streets and checking everyone's veils to make dinner for me when I come home from madrassa, so I had to figure out how to make hot goat rinds myself. The microwave Mommy bought doesn't have a door because Mommy said microwave doors are un-Islamic so I asked my brother Agag to teach me how to microwave with the door open, and he said he would in exchange for my 10 copies of "Farida and the Revolutionary Guards" comics that I can't read anyway. So he stuck a pencil where the door was supposed to close and he taught me what the word "ON" looks like. I am so happy I was born a girl because I don't have to learn to read the way Agag does. He is 13 years old and he can even read four letter words - he is SO smart! Then I pressed the button the way Daddy wants to do to the Zionists and boom, the whole microwave blew up and when Mommy came home she said Daddy would be so proud of me because Agag and I were glowing in the dark and that means our glorious Pistachio Republic is now a nuclear state!" * I promise, this is NOT an obscene word in Farsi because a few Persians might hang out here, but if you go to a Persian restaurant and order this you might get a few odd stares. ty on "Adar Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/adar-jokes#post-119319 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:55:39 +0000 ty 119319@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ A harmless dummy hung in the spirit of Purim in Chicago somehow turned into a rescue effort yesterday after police and paramedics arrived at the scene thinking that a dummy was a real person. Some bochurim at Telshe Yeshiva in Chicago, in honor of Chodesh Adar, created a Mishenichnas Adar sign and hung it on the front of their dormitory building. The bochurim, in their creativity, made it look like a person - a dummy - hanging up the sign had lost his balance and was hanging on for dear life on the high window sill while the fallen ladder sat below. Police officers and paramedics were contacted by someone who was not aware that the “guy” was nothing more than a dummy. After arriving at the scene, police and paramedics cut the ropes holding up the “fellow” and finally reached him, only to discover that he was nothing more than a dummy. The police and paramedics broke out in laughter, quickly figuring out that the sign and dummy were nothing more than a creative Purim endeavor by the boys. In fact, the paramedics, smiling from ear to ear, took the “person” on a stretcher and headed back to their station to show their “find” to their friends. The bochurim later contacted them and asked if they could get their dummy back. (One of the bochurim needed to return the shaitel from the dummy’s head to his mother!) Wishing everyone a joyful month of Adar. Poster on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-119167 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 10:13:09 +0000 Poster 119167@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I guess I should mention the site I took the info off of: <a href="http://www.ajmadison.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.ajmadison.com</a>. I think they are located in BP. Poster on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-119164 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 08:32:26 +0000 Poster 119164@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Yeah, I just checked out an appliace store online, and you can get Appliance: Refrigerator - $105.00 With Recycling $75.00 Without Recycling Freezer $75.00 With Recycling $50.00 Without Recycling Clothes Washer $100.00 With Recycling $75.00 Without Recycling It is really worth it, and I think this is only good for one week! anuran on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-119126 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:14:23 +0000 anuran 119126@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Good. Investment in energy efficiency could save us enough to significantly cut our dependence on foreign oil. I just wish the program offered even larger incentives for those few appliances still made in this country. I can only try on "Cash for Clunkers - Appliance Rebates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cash-for-clunkers-appliance-rebates#post-119116 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 20:22:29 +0000 I can only try 119116@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Now's the time to buy if you're in the market for new appliances in New York State from Friday's NY Daily News Sick of that old washer, want a new fridge? This might be your lucky day! Friday kicks off the "New York's Great Appliance Swap Out" program (a.k.a. "Cash for Appliances"), where you can get money back when you purchase Energy-Star applicances. Here are the rebates, according to WSYR-TV Syracuse: * Refrigerators: $75 rebate. You could get $105 back if you have a receipt proving you recycled the old one. * Washers: $75 dollar rebate or $100 with a recycling receipt * Freezers: $50 refund or $75 if you recycle the old one. * If you bundle all three items, or any two plus an Energy Star dishwasher, you can get a $500 rebate, $550 with recycling receipt. The program is first-come, first-serve, and there is about $17 million set aside to fund the initiative in New York state, according to the Web site. The program officially ends on Feb. 21. You can learn more about "New York's Great Appliance Swap Out" and fill out a rebate application online at <a href="http://www.nyapplianceswapout.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.nyapplianceswapout.com</a>. For those of you who are not New Yorkers, visit <a href="http://www.EnergySavers.gov" rel="nofollow">http://www.EnergySavers.gov</a> for details about the program and eligibility. From government rebate site: <a href="http://www.energysavers.gov/financial/index.cfm/mytopic=70020" rel="nofollow">http://www.energysavers.gov/financial/index.cfm/mytopic=70020</a> Types of Appliances More than 70% of the energy used in our homes is for appliances, refrigeration, space heating, cooling, and water heating. Replacing old appliances and equipment with those that are ENERGY STAR® labeled can help American families save significantly on their utility bills. Each state and territory may select its own set of ENERGY STAR qualified products to rebate. DOE has recommended that states select from among the following appliances: Boilers Central air conditioners Clothes washers Dishwashers Freezers Furnaces (oil and gas) Heat pumps (air source and geothermal) Refrigerators Room air conditioners Water heaters Time is of the essence since the program is only open for a short time. Other states also have this program, but dates and rebate specifics vary.