YWN Coffee Room: Recent Topics

YWN Coffee Room: Recent Topics http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ YWN Coffee Room: Recent Topics en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:47:55 +0000 telegrok on "Crazy Shidduch Story" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/crazy-shidduch-story#post-111826 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:07:20 +0000 telegrok 111826@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ My husband just walked in from shul with the craziest story. I think we are all losing our perspective when it comes to shidduchim. A friend of our's has a son who was driving home from yeshiva a few weeks ago on Sunday and he saw in the curb lane a car with the hazard lights flashing, and two "dressed up" girls standing beside it. Since he was raised properly by his parents (sorry, I am editorializing here), he pulled over and asked the girls if they needed help. They had a flat tire, told him that they had called for help, but that the towing company said it would be an hour and they were going to be late for a vort. So (because this is a boy whose parents taught him well), the boy (let's call him Dovid) offered to change the tire for them. The girls were kind of astounded, but they actually took him up on the offer; he changed the tire. While he was changing the tire they made small talk and it turns out that one of the girls knows his aunt, and we figure that she used that information to obtain his address later that week, and she (the driver of the car) and the other girl sent him a thank you note with a gift certificate to a local seforim store - they explained they would have probably spent four times that much on the towing company, and they really appreciated his help. So, one thing leads to another, the boy calls his aunt, gets the girl's number, and calls to thank her for the gift. Nice story so far, right? Gets better. They have a nice conversation and agree to meet for a coffee. And this is where the craziness starts. Two nights later Dovid gets a call from the girl, who tells Dovid that she cannot meet him. Why? Because she was about to be redt to a very choshuve bochur, and the shadchanis told her that if word got around that this girl was going to go on a date with a guy she had met WITHOUT THE INTERVENTION OF THE SHADCHAN, (a) the choshuve bochur would not meet her, and (b) the shadchanis would no longer help her because "my clientele does not talk to boys who have not been checked out and cleared." Of course, Dovid is upset, because he liked the girl and thought it would be worthwhile to meet with her; the girl is upset because she is torn between wanting to meet Dovid again, but not sure she wants to risk her relationship with the shadchanis if the Dovid thing doesn't go anywhere. So, let me understand (and faithful readers will recall that I met my husband through a shul fundraising raffle): boy helps girl by changing her flat tire; girl thanks boy with small gift; boy thanks girl; they enjoy phone conversation; and now they're not allowed to meet? There's something wrong here. I'm not telling communities to change their modes of dating etc. - but why must artificial boundaries be imposed when b'derech ha'tevah a chance meeting offers a possible promise of something good? I told my husband that if I were the girl's mother I would send them to dinner, not just coffee. Jothar on "The Post-Shidduch Crisis" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/the-post-shidduch-crisis#post-108421 Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:28:42 +0000 Jothar 108421@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ From an article by Rabbi Avi Billet: New York - Our community has a lot to say about the “shidduch crisis.” First, we blame the singles themselves. Why can’t young people date like we did? Why can’t they meet people in normal ways? Why can’t they have social functions like we had? Why can’t they get over their hang-ups of dating one person at a time? Why do they have to be so picky? Maybe they don’t really want to get married, because if they did, they would. Then we blame their teachers. Why don’t the rebbeim do something about it? Why do they teach the boys that girls are taboo until it’s time to get married? Why are girls prohibited from talking to boys because of a stigma? Then we blame halacha (Jewish law). It’s because they can’t be normal teenagers or adults – they don’t hold hands (plenty do anyway — that’s for a different discussion). What’s the big deal about a casual hug or impersonal kiss? Modesty shmodesty — they’re going to share a bedroom once they’re married, so why the need to dress modestly now? Then we blame the culture we’ve created. Ridiculous background checks that put FBI and El-Al security to shame. Measuring tapes to check lengths of skirts, sleeves, and hat-brims. How classy are the “mechutanim”? (What does any of this have to do with whether the dating couple will honor, respect and care for each other in what will hopefully be a long marriage?) It’s been said before that people get more excited about, and put way more hours into, preparing what will be a five-hour wedding than what should be, in good health, a fifty-plus years marriage. Which leads to a newer, more serious crisis: the post-shidduch “very short marriage” crisis. One of my professors in Yeshiva University would quip that college students got engaged so they could tell their friends “I’m engaged.” He’d say, “You people don’t know anything about love and romance. And you’re all too young to get married.” Based only on informal polling, I would bet most people would probably prefer to experience or witness a broken engagement than a divorce. One of the last statements in Tractate Gittin (90b) is Rabbi Elazar’s comment that when a divorce takes place, even the mizbeach (altar) sheds tears. At one point a couple of years ago, I personally knew of five marriages and divorces between the same couples that had taken place over a period of ten months. It is sad to think that all the joy, optimism and hope that took place at the wedding resulted in misunderstandings, disrespect (in some cases), and shattered dreams. Unquestionably, men and women go into marriages with different expectations. Men and women have different needs spiritually, emotionally, and physically. They each bring different strengths to a marriage. But they each need to know in advance that not only is the marriage a partnership, but it is also a team. Sometimes you need to sacrifice yourself so the other person can shine. But the sacrifice helps the team win. What is lost in communication pre-marriage? In all the hours dating and talking and sharing dreams, what is missed? How does the “love love love” feeling drastically switch (in such a short time) to “divorce”? Could it be we are not teaching ourselves that problems can come up and we need to deal with them? Could it be our eyes are so glazed over at the thought and process of preparing for that walk down the aisle we forget that five hours after the procession there’s a life to live together? And we need to prepare for that? In America, it’s been said that “Marriage as an institution is a failure.” (To a similar statement, Groucho Marx said “And who wants to live in an institution?”) But it doesn’t have to be. It can be stressful, at times, and it requires work all the time. And that is why the married couple is a team. When a team works together and communicates, they can succeed. If each player is only worried about his or her own stats, the team has no chance. Communication is hard at first. How does one give up being single, independent, making your own decisions, and replace that with having to think of another person? How does one communicate intimate, private thoughts about very personal dilemmas that one has never shared with anyone before? It sometimes takes time to really get to know and trust one’s spouse. People who have never lived together do not really know each other until they have lived together for some time. I heard a great speaker talk about love and marriage and he declared, “Knowing what I know about love now [after 25 years of marriage] I would venture to say I did not love my wife when we got married.” But they grew together and built a wonderful marriage together. There are a number of very traumatic events in a person’s life that can have a negative impact on one’s psyche and lead to symptoms of depression. They include: getting married, birth of a baby, moving, starting a new job, getting fired, divorcing, death of a close loved one. Marriage and moving usually take place at the same time, and if the wife or husband is from “out of town,” the move can be even more traumatic. The two people need to be there for each other, to trust each other, to share with each other, validate feelings, work together, see a marriage counselor if necessary, and work through kinks. The first few miles of any new road can be bumpy, but that doesn’t mean it’s an altogether bad road. This is not to say that mistakes don’t happen. Some things creep up and come out in a way a person might never know until a man and woman share a roof. In some cases, there can be no reparation and the two parties will really have a miserable marriage if they stay together. This is why the Torah describes a method of divorce, why an entire tractate of the Talmud is dedicated to the topic, and why a complete section of the Shulchan Arukh is devoted to interpersonal relationships between men and women in the context of marriage and divorce. It is certainly hard to know the future. But divorce after a four-month marriage shouldn’t always be the answer to what seem to be, after such a short time, irreconcilable differences. The mizbeach would like to stop crying. jewwithnomoney on "Cell Phones On Dates" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cell-phones-on-dates#post-111230 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:06:12 +0000 jewwithnomoney 111230@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Is it appropriate for a guy to bring a cell phone with him on a date? I don't have a lot of experience dating so I want to get some opinions. Until now I have always brought my phone with me and left it on with the ringer silenced, I admit I have forgotten to turn off the ringer sometimes but I've never answered or made a call without having a good reason that I explained to the girl. My reason for bringing the phone is that I feel that I am responsible for the girl while we are out and in case of emergency I think it's important to have a way to call for help right away. The reason I'm questioning my logic is that I recently went on a date with a girl who brought her cell phone with her (on the first date) and seemed to be checking it for text messages a couple of times (not while we were talking but as we were getting up to leave and while getting into the car). I found this to be a little annoying and I'm wondering if girls feel the same way about guys bringing their cell phones. What do you think? young on "Broken Engagements" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/broken-engagements#post-86964 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 22:17:46 +0000 young 86964@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I am being red to a guy who had a broken engagement, how do you find out about why they broke it off? If he broke it off is there something to be concerned about? YW Moderator-80 on "Cantorial Music II" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cantorial-music-1#post-111303 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:27:20 +0000 YW Moderator-80 111303@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ for davy This thread is only for the discussion of various cantors and cantorial music. Those you particularly like. It is not to criticize or to defend cantors or cantorial music. Anyone who doesnt like cantorial music, don't post here. If you want to complain about those who don't like cantors, don't post here. azi on "Orthodox Jews" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/orthodox-jews#post-112000 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:21:10 +0000 azi 112000@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ There was a story about the Women of the Wall group on YNet today which in turn was published on another site. The second sites article had almost 200 comment posts, most of them similar in style and tone. What the writers mostly agreed on is their view of Orthodox Jews. Here are some examples: "Almost everything I've read about them makes them out to be mean and arrogant" " there are pockets of sanity, you should research the Chabad/Lubavitch movement" "Orthodox jews generally are exempt from service, primarily because they (well, a significant minority of them) tend to riot if they don't get what they want" I can't say I disagree with their sentiments. arc on "Chanukah Party Game?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/chanukah-party-game#post-112044 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:41:48 +0000 arc 112044@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ family feud(the game not literal). smalltowngirl on "Parve Shalosh Seudos recipes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/parve-shalosh-seudos-recipes#post-112060 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:17:12 +0000 smalltowngirl 112060@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ In the colder months I like to have a crock pot of a pareve soup for shalosh seudas, served with a salad. getzel1 on "Should BMG Have A Say In Lakewood Politics?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/should-bmg-have-a-say-in-lakewood-politics#post-111567 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:23:01 +0000 getzel1 111567@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ what do think Should BMG have a say in lakewood politics. Either YES because lets face the fact the city is based on the Yeshiva. Or NO they are not a kehila and don"t do a thing for the kehla. WHAT DO YOU THINK? mybat on "Mothers-in-law" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/mother-in-laws#post-111974 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:40:03 +0000 mybat 111974@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ How are you supposed to deal with a mother in law that likes to voice her opinion on every aspect of your life? simplydevo on "Ramat Beit Shemesh" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/ramat-beit-shemesh#post-108989 Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:58:17 +0000 simplydevo 108989@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ A nice hemish chareidi community Anonymous on "Where Do You Buy Your Challos For Shabbos?!" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/where-do-you-buy-your-challos-for-shobbos#post- Thu, 01 Jan 1970 04:59:59 +0000 Anonymous @http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ simplydevo on "Smoking Habit" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/smoking-habit#post-106002 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:54:18 +0000 simplydevo 106002@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I live in Israel and its very common place to see young and old people alike entrenched in the smoking habit. I find this rather disturbing. Why do people want to guarrantee themselves an early death? I understand smoking is an addiction and very hard to overcome, but aren't people supposed to be misgaber on their desires and listen to Hashem who tells us to take care of our bodies? By smoking all one is doing is succumbing to peer pressure and leeching his body of the ability to give one a vital element-AIR. Are the few seconds or hours of enjoyment really worth the consequences? YW Moderator-42 on "Segulos?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/segulos#post-110995 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:57:25 +0000 YW Moderator-42 110995@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ There is an article on the main page about the segual of davening 40 days at the kossel. <a href="http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/article.php?p=41902" rel="nofollow">http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/article.php?p=41902</a> What do you think of this particular segula and segulos in general? yeshivaboy88 on "Jewish Doctor Death Penalty" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/jewish-doctor-death-penalty#post-110876 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:05:42 +0000 yeshivaboy88 110876@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ If a jewish doctor is asked to carry out a death sentence by lethal injenction to a none jew. May he comply? Or is he considered a murderer? Do we say dena dmalchusah denah and he may comply or not? NY Mom on "Lets bring the Geulah closer" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/lets-bring-the-geulah-closer#post-111543 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:43:05 +0000 NY Mom 111543@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ What a wonderful mitzvah! You have inspired me. 000646 on "Dont suffer alone" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/dont-suffer-alone#post-111976 Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:05:34 +0000 000646 111976@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ The following Article appeared on a popular blog and is appearing in next weeks jewish press. Mods: please let this article up on your site as it is important for people to read it. Abuse Survivors; Please Do Not Suffer Alone By: Dr. Benzion Twerski and Rabbi Yakov Horowitz In recent days, reports have circulated in the media and on the Internet about the tragic early passing of yet another young man in our community. Those reports indicate that the trauma of childhood abuse followed him and complicated his adult life to the point that it impinged on the quality of his personal relationships. It is not the intent of these lines to substantiate these reports nor is it to dismiss them. Rather, we wish to use the opportunity presented by this horrible calamity and the dialogue it has created on the internet and in the street to once again loudly and forcefully reiterate the message we have been projecting for many years to victims of abuse – “Please reach out for help and do not suffer alone.” For even in the event that the facts as reported in this particular tragedy are not accurate, they are most certainly consistent with the pattern we have unfortunately seen over and over again, where victims of childhood abuse go through unspeakable agony as they attempt to singlehandedly deal with the toxic aftereffects of the trauma they suffered in their formative years. We have each encountered numerous instances where untreated childhood abuse follows victims into adulthood, shredding their marriages and rendering them often incapable of entering into a loving and intimate relationship with their spouses until a trained mental health professional helps them sort things out. We have each been involved with more than a few childhood abuse victims who became addicted to heroin and/or cocaine, in an unsuccessful attempt to wash away the searing pain of their trauma. We have each paid more than a few shiva calls to families of abuse victims, who years and even decades later took their own lives. There are a number of reasons why abuse victims would not avail themselves of intervention and assistance. Some are understandably reluctant or frightened to share the facts of their abuse with others. Others, who did have the courage to confide in adults in their lives were encouraged or intimidated into remaining silent – especially if the perpetrator is a respected individual or a close family member. This sends a horrible message to the victim – that he or she has done something that cannot see the light of day. The result is a that a never-ending video loop now plays in the mind of the victim, as societal pressure abuses them again and again, by forcing them to remain silent and unsupported. There are many events that simultaneously involve more than one “system.” For example, when one gets arrested for driving under the influence which caused injuries or death, there are criminal penalties for drunk driving and financial reparations due for the damages caused. However, neither of these tracks deals with the fact that the perpetrator has a drinking problem. Courts realize they cannot treat alcoholism, as revoking licenses, impounding cars, and even jail terms will not prevent recidivism – especially if treatment is warranted but not followed. Various efforts have been undertaken in recent years – all of which are necessary – in the arenas of prevention, education, training, and the need for reporting. And we both have proudly participated in many of them. However, despite the fact that these initiatives and the awareness they generate are often soothing to past abuse victims, none of these help them regain their footing. Only therapy by a licensed and trained professional can accomplish that. We are therefore reaching out to anyone who was ever abused or molested in their childhood years and begging you to please do yourself the ultimate favor and get help. Therapy may not solve all issues in your life, but it will do much to make your future brighter and filled with greater promise. In fact, many survivors thrive and build beautiful lives for themselves and their families following successful treatment. It may be true that some people are resilient and survive with little apparent damage (apparent is the operative word). However, this is not the norm, and with the dangers involved, we would not recommend that you even risk this small chance. So; for your sake, and for the sake of your spouse and children, please, please get help. This may mean several things: Contact a mental health professional who is experienced in counseling trauma victims. (I strongly feel that well-intentioned individuals like me, who do not have professional training in abuse treatment, are not equipped to deal with these issues and should limit our involvement to supporting the efforts of the professionals, and steering those who seek our guidance in these matters directly to them. Y.H.) Get information about trauma and its effects. Connect with other victims/survivors. The camaraderie and support are invaluable. We strongly suggest that you ignore those who inform you, that getting married and starting a family will help you, “Get over it.” Experience has taught us that it will often complicate things rather than heal them. Please, please do not suffer alone. Reach out for help today. In closing, we offer you our sincere and heartfelt bracha that Hashem grant you menuchas hanefesh and simchas hachayim (tranquility and joy) in your lives. © 2009 Dr. Benzion Twerski and Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, all rights reserved Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is a regular columnist in The Jewish Press. Dr. Benzion Twerski is a renowned and much sought-after mental health professional who holds a Ph.D. in psychology from University of Pittsburgh. Dr. Twerski has been one of the leading voices in our community on the issue of child abuse for more than a decade. He lives and practices in Brooklyn, N.Y. and can be reached at <a href="mailto:btwerski@gmail.com">btwerski@gmail.com</a> LeiderLeider... on "Music - Musical instruments" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/music-musical-instruments#post-19162 Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:43:31 +0000 LeiderLeider... 19162@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Perhaps we can have a thread to discuss musical instruments. There’s a myriad of instruments out there and I would bet that a considerable proportion of the YW members play an instrument (professionally or otherwise). I, for one, play the acoustic guitar (chords – not notes). I am far from a professional but I find the acoustic guitar to be a soothing and absolutely beautiful instrument. It kills my fingers though :-(. There’s nothing quite as uplifting as getting together with a group of friends and strumming away to the heady songs of R’ Shlomo z”l… I would appreciate members’ comments, tips, and advice (especially on the painful fingers!!) Please feel free to discuss your emotional experiences with instruments and music in general. In my extremely humble opinion, instrumental music can evoke emotive responses infinitely stronger than any other medium. I wonder if your opinion is the same. Thank you. p.s. If there’s already a thread on this subject, please forgive me. I would appreciate if you can direct me there. The Hocker on "Should We Give The H1N1 Vaccine For Kids" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/should-we-give-the-h1n1-vaccine-for-kids#post-110266 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:04:18 +0000 The Hocker 110266@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Is anyone giving their children this vaccine? Do we know for sure that it's safe and ok to do? I'm not anti vaccines at all, just this thing is so very new. What you fellers say, eh? YW Moderator-72 on "YWN Coffee Room Nightly D'Var Torah" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/ywn-coffee-room-nightly-dvar-torah#post-23623 Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:13:35 +0000 YW Moderator-72 23623@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ People can sign up for a night and present their D'Var Torah. Starting with M'Shabbos and going though Thursday night. It can be on Parsha, Hilchos Yom Tov, Shmiras HaLoshon, Hashkafa... Who is the first to sign up for this upcoming week? M'Shabbos: <a> JayMatt19(permanent)</a> Sunday: <a> JayMatt19 (tentative)</a> Monday: <a> </a> Tuesday: <a> </a> Wednesday: <a> </a> Thursday: <a> nooseisko (permanent) </a> E'Shabbos: <a> chofetzchaim (tentative) </a> If you want to dedicate the D'var Torah either as a zchus for someone or a zechar nishmas or... please put that on the first line. EDITED: Each D'var Torah will be as a Zchus for our Brothers and Sisters in Eretz Yisroel as well as for the Soldiers. If you want to do an additional dedication, please indicate in the top line of your post. <a href="http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/General+News/28597/Rav+Chaim+Kanievsky+Tells+Naaleh+Organization:+War+is+Related+to+Bittul+Torah.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/General+News/28597/Rav+Chaim+Kanievsky+Tells+Naaleh+Organization:+War+is+Related+to+Bittul+Torah.html</a> Note: On Fridays I will clear out the ending week and start accepting names for the upcoming week. wsx on "Screen Names" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/screen-names#post-12688 Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:52:07 +0000 wsx 12688@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Please explain why you chose the YWN screen name you have: estherhamalka on "How To Clean Velvet Kippot?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/clean-velvet-kippot#post-111811 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:51:29 +0000 estherhamalka 111811@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Does anyone have a way to clean velvet kippot that got dirty?not just dusty-dirty-so that scotch tape or a lint brush doesnt remove the stain?you also cant get them wet because that will for sure ruin them...help.my budget doesnt allow me to get so many new kippot for my kids with their names embroidered-but i love seing them with fresh clean looking kippot! Feif Un on "Boltshauser tragedy" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/boltshauser-tragedy#post-111625 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:06:28 +0000 Feif Un 111625@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Daniel, how can you say it didn't work, and then correct it to "partially" because of the baby? You have no idea what your tefillos accomplished. Davening DOES help, even if we can't see it. Hashem takes all our tefillos into account. Mommy613 on "Yeshiva Guys' Dress" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/yeshiva-guys-dress#post-110727 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:06:27 +0000 Mommy613 110727@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I have a 17 yr old who just came home from yeshiva in jeans i never knew he had. Should I be concerned? getzel1 on "Good Jokes" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes#post-108699 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:40:15 +0000 getzel1 108699@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ I told them NO WAY! ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!! hpowner on "Learn A New Language" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/learn-a-new-language#post-95997 Mon, 07 Sep 2009 18:23:59 +0000 hpowner 95997@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I am looking to learn a new language. Does anyone know any languages besides English, Ivrit/Lashon Hakodesh, Aramaic, or Yiddish? If so, do you have a suggestion for which language and/or how to learn it? Thanks yoshi on "Any Runners?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/any-runners#post-7153 Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:43:12 +0000 yoshi 7153@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I was wondering if anyone else here in the YWN COFFEE ROOM runs regularly? Anyone here been in marathons or 5k type races? It would be nice to have a "runners" discussion thread, for support, advice, tips, etc. real613 on "Israel Is No Better Than The States..???" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/israel-is-no-better-than-the-states#post-111704 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:16:44 +0000 real613 111704@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ I have been feeling alot lately that the time is coming to move to E"Y. The war is getting closer (if not already begun) and I'm tired of living in a world where people are ignoring/forgetting/ ignorant of the fact that we are in galus etc. In my mind, E"Y is a place for all yiden/jews for everyone of us who seeks the truth and growth and mashiach etc no matter what level we are at or came from. In my mind E"Y is where the 'love is'............. And then i started reading the posts....then the comments... I am horrified. I cant believe it. I'm almost speechless. Looks pretty hopeless to me right now! The amount of hatred, fiery words, and thats just about the posts! what about what is going on in our worlds? In our so called communities? If it is so bad in E"Y then there is no place left to go. It is a bad bad time for the jews when you are affraid to move to E"Y because of its 'FRUM YIDDEN' !!!! Hashem Please Give us The Clarity To Love One and Other and Unite in Our One Goal! Anonymous on "Where Do You Buy Your Challos For Shabbos?!" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/where-do-you-buy-your-challos-for-shobbos#post- Thu, 01 Jan 1970 04:59:59 +0000 Anonymous @http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ getzel1 on "What Newspaper / Magazine do You Read / Trust Most?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/what-newspaper-magazine-do-you-read-trust-most#post-111150 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:55:59 +0000 getzel1 111150@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ What jewish Newspaper or Jewish magazine do you read and trust the most. <<<<No Loshon horah please.>>>> happiest on "Support Groups" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/support-groups#post-111315 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:38:08 +0000 happiest 111315@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Was just wondering if anyone knows of any support groups in the NY area for people with mental illness, specifically depression? Thanks in advance! pookie on "1st yr Beis Medrash in Israel?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/1st-yr-beis-medrash-in-israel#post-111675 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:43:02 +0000 pookie 111675@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ if hes going for learning (real learning that is) than i think its a great idea, but if hes going to israel to learn a bit and chill around than maybe 1st year in israel isn't the greatest idea tzippi on "Don't Redt it if you Don't Mean it" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/dont-redt-it-if-you-dont-mean-it#post-107522 Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:48:25 +0000 tzippi 107522@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Skates, the problem is, people aren't properly redting the shidduch, they're throwing a name at you. Then you investigate ten boys, and none of them are interested. I much prefer the boy to do the checking first, but anyone who tosses off boys names should be in a position to push the shidduch through AND be able to sell the girl well to the boy's family. This way even if the girl does check first, it will be productive and not a demoralizing waste of time. mybat on "Bikur Choilim" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/bikur-choilim#post-111756 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:15:21 +0000 mybat 111756@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Maybe send her some good books, mdlevine on "Single Malt Scotch" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/single-malt-scotch#post-104792 Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:29:10 +0000 mdlevine 104792@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ According to one of the Kashrus organizations single malt scotch is fine as long as the label does not say aged in sherry (or other grape based barrels). I did a little snooping around and it doesn’t seem that the “reading the label” is any more accurate for scotch than it is for any other product without a hechscher. I sent an email to a popular distillery and asked about their product. Here is the email exchange: Sent: 12 October 2009 14:24 To: theglenlivet admin Subject: question Good afternoon, I read an article that in todays global economy many distilleries may use alternative raw alcohol bases for their scotch products. Does the glenlivet use either whey or grape based raw alcohol base in the process? Is the product aged in barrels that have contained grape or other products? I appreciate your taking the time to read and respond to my query. All the best, _____ I am pleased to inform you that The Glenlivet is a single malt Scotch whisky, and as such it only contains three ingredients – malted barley, water and yeast. When maturing our spirit, we use ex-bourbon barrels, and ex-sherry butts, both of which are oak. I hope this answers your query. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Kind regards L. M. Visitor Centre Deputy Supervisor The Glenlivet Distillery ______ L, Thank you this has been most informative. re: the barrels - does the product go through both the bourbon and the sherry oak barrels or does only a select variety get the sherry barrel? ______ The majority of our whiskies have some sherry influence on them. The Glenlivet 12 year old is mostly matured in bourbon casks, though some of the spirit is matured in sherry casks, and this is then married together. Our 18 year contains more sherried whisky than the 12 year old – as you will be able to see from the difference in colour (the 18 year old being much deeper). The Nadurra is purely matured in bourbon casks – none of the whisky in Nadurra has been matured inn a sherry cask. Kind regards L. ____ In addition I found this article by Gary Regan: Over the past decade or so, many single-malt Scotch producers have issued bottlings of their nectar that have spent the last few months of their maturation period in a variety of different barrels: Port-, Madeira-, Sherry- and even Claret-Wood. Finished Scotches have captured the attention, and sometimes the hearts, of many a whisky buff, and there's no doubt we'll see more experimentation in wood management in the not-too-distant future. Most malt distillers use bourbon casks to age their whisky before transferring it to a different type of cask, but one Speyside distillery insists on aging all of its malt exclusively in sherry butts from start to finish. Recently, I was invited to Spain to see what all the fuss is about. The Tevasa Cooperage in Jerez, Spain, is responsible for keeping the Scots in Craigellachie, Scotland, supplied with sherry-seasoned barrels. The process is far more complicated than I'd ever dreamed. I always believed that it would be quite simple to buy some used barrels from sherry producers, but it turns out that nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact is that this particular distillery needs far more barrels than the sherrymakers can supply on a regular basis, so it's up to the Scots to provide their own. Here's how it works: The Scotch distillery actually buys trees grown in Northern Spain and commissions the cooperage to construct a certain number of barrels per year. Then, because demand for sherry is low, they are forced to "rent" oloroso sherry to season the wood over a period of about two years. "They literally have us over a barrel," quips master distiller David Robertson. The sherry then is returned to the sherrymaker, and the newly seasoned barrels are shipped to Scotland to be filled with newly-made whisky that will remain in the wood usually for between 12 and 18 years before the distiller deems it ready for the glass. How much does it cost? Quite a lot. According to the distillery's calculations, if they used bourbon barrels, which can be filled three times before losing their aging capabilities, it would cost them around $45 per fill. But sherry butts, which can be used only twice before they're spent, average a whopping $300 per fill -- not a negligible amount. So what makes those barrels so special? According to Narciso Fernandez Iturrospe, owner of the Tevasa Cooperage, it isn't only the sherry seasoning that makes the barrels ideal for aging single malts. The wood itself plays a large part in imparting special flavors to the whisky. Sherry barrels are made from Quercus Robur, a Spanish oak that is felled when it reaches 60 to 70 years of age and contains approximately 10 times more tannin than does the 30- to 40-year-old Quercus Alba, or American White Oak, which is used to make bourbon barrels. Research has shown the tannins in the wood act as a catalyst that aids oxidization during the maturation period and hence is highly desirable to malt producers. Obviously, nothing is wrong with using bourbon barrels to age scotch whisky; it's common practice in many Scottish distilleries, and it yields some spectacular malts. The barrels are relatively inexpensive because bourbon producers, by law, can use the barrels only once, and therefore they make them available at reasonable prices to Scotch, rum and even tequila producers. The exclusive use of sherry butts, however, goes toward differentiating one malt from all the others. And, just like the other whiskies, finished in all sorts of different barrels, that makes the whole category more interesting to the whisky-drinking public. What's next on the horizon for single malts? Whisky aged in Chardonnay casks, perhaps? Or maybe a malt or two finished in used Marsala barrels. Whatever comes, it's bound to fascinate whisky buffs. The powers that be at one distillery, however, figure that their formula isn't broken, so they aren't planning to try to fix it. ____ dovidshmuel on "Anyone Else Worried About Today's Frum Music?" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/anyone-else-worried-about-todays-frum-music#post-110560 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:37:51 +0000 dovidshmuel 110560@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Is anyone besides me worried and appalled at today’s frum music? The only thing frum about it is the words, but the lighting and the big bands and the driving rock-and-roll beat and the choreography and the drums and everything else about it besides the words is strictly adopted from non-Jewish music. I guess they are all doing it because it sells and everyone is so “golus-ized” that they think that’s the way things should be. Anyone who’s been to a Yerushalmi wedding with the two singers and a tom-tom drum sees what real happiness from Jewish music is. There has to be a way to stop this goyification of Jewish music. Does anyone else care? ConfusedTatty on "Finding the Right Seminary" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/trying-to-find-the-right-seminary#post-107896 Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:06:50 +0000 ConfusedTatty 107896@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ We have heard wonderful things about many seminaries. Could anyone help clarify the differences between BJJ, BYA, Bnos Chava, Bnos Sarah, Mesores Rochel and Mchon Ra'aya? Thanks! Anonymous on "Where Do You Buy Your Challos For Shabbos?!" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/where-do-you-buy-your-challos-for-shobbos#post- Thu, 01 Jan 1970 04:59:59 +0000 Anonymous @http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Belev Echad on "Funny Shidduch Stories" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/funny-shidduch-stories#post-41562 Sun, 08 Feb 2009 20:09:52 +0000 Belev Echad 41562@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ Forget the angst and negativity about shidduchim. Anyone have any funny things, incidents happen to you or someone u know on a date? I'll start: this poor boy backs into the driveway on the first date....and backs into the girl's father's car!....and had to knock on the door and explain to the father exactly what he just did!! funnily enough, it didn't harm the shidduch and they got marrried! Jax on "Where Do You Buy Your Challos For Shabbos?!" http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/where-do-you-buy-your-challos-for-shobbos#post-81334 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:03:45 +0000 Jax 81334@http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/ My family always buys & never really bakes Challah cause we really like bakery Challah a lot! we're always checking out new great places to buy our Challah for Shabbos! and i was wondering where you all get your Challah in the NY area?! current great favorite place, we really like is the Heimishe Bakery on New Utrech Ave. between 48th & 49th street, under the train tracks! Note: this thread is for pure enjoyment & not for advertisement purposes!