In a moment of feeling desperation about my "Shidduch-less" state, I wrote a prayer asking for Hashem's help to cope with my single-ness and to ultimately bring me the Yeshuah of finding my intended. I wish to share it the YWN readers:
Ribbono Shel Olam – I know not how to pray before You
My heart is closed – no words of prayer seem to be able to emerge from it
But I know that I must pour out my soul to You for so much turbulence and pain fulminates inside of me
That it would be untenable if I would not connect with You, to grab onto the stronghold and fortress that You are to us
For only when You are my anchor and rock, can I find meaning and strength to continue on in life
My insides are squeezed shut; as if the air was sucked out of me – I gasp for breath
A faint cry of pain emanates, totally not knowing where to direct itself to
I look out in the distance wondering if somewhere You are extending Your arm to me to pull me out of my quagmire
Are You with me in my suffering; will there ever be a time when these days of pain will have a positive perspective to me?
To lead me onto to days of a better time, as if a gangway between the deserted island and the ship that will take us home?
Tovim Hashnayim Min HoEchad, for when one is alone, he is deserted on an island with no happiness in sight
Only if these days of agony are the passageway to the time when two will be one, can I bear to face tomorrow
For when I am alone, there is no strength; the most trivial of burdens threaten to totally upend me
How my voice wishes to join in singing Your praises on Seder night with the voice of my partner, but alas she is nowhere to be found
I wish that my tears for my fellow Jew’s suffering would merge together with the tears of my beloved – for these joint tears would open doors of Chesed to help our brethren
Please save me from loneliness, from the pain of entering my apartment and being reminded that I am torn away from the happiness of marriage
My meals, taken alone, are so empty regardless of what is on my plate
How I wish for a simple fare, shared with the partner you designated for me
To walk together with warm conversation flowing from the heart to the heart
To discuss the beauty of being Mekadaish Shaim Shomayim with our every living moment
Alas when I am alone, I am only half a person, like a sheep in a deserted pasture
My life seeks the sweetness of the togetherness with another; the knowledge that come what may we are always there for each other
Ribbono Shel Olam – please give me the strength to ask properly for Your help and Hadrocho
That You should lead me and my intended, to each other in a most pleasant and easy way, with the knowledge and assurance that we are right for each other
That we were made by You for each other and waiting for the other for all our lives
Please set me on the path to be a dedicated, loving and noble partner
To the woman that you have designated for me.
To lend an ever-listening ear, a compassionate heart and ever-replenishing source of energy.
To be a stalwart source of strength, stability, love and personal validation.
That You should endow me with the desire, stamina and peace of mind to be a prodigious giver.
And a never-ending source of joy to the partner that You shall bring me to.
Please accept my paltry words and waning strength as I ask You to please lead us together - to under the Chupah and with unlimited strength and peace of mind into life beyond
That we should be Mashlim each other and bring to each other great Simcha all the days of our life
To raise our children together to become true Ovdei Hashem with all their hearts
And that we should open our home to all corners of Am Yisroel to become a haven for the needy and those seeking happiness
May we become a heavenly conduit to bring down Your blessing to all K’lal Yisroel very speedily and give You, all our brethren and each other unlimited Nachas and Simcha
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