Thanks everyone for their compliments, they are greatly appreciated.
Oomis, thanks for the congrats. I think your poem is excellent and written very well. Kudos to you as well.
YWN Coffee Room » Decaffeinated Coffee
ATT POETRY PEOPLE
(1702 posts)-
Posted 3 years ago #
-
Todah rabbah, Dave.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Observanteen, how did you manage to write to everybody and yet keep it so short - hats off to you!
SaysMe - how are you doing? You're being thought of. i hope you're coping, keep holding on tight and remember every time, good and bad, passes!
Blabla, i hope you're okay too... as well as puppy n everybody else!Maybe we should call theis thread, poetry 'n C-C (chizuk & compliments) .......
Posted 3 years ago # -
My anorexia,
a roller coaster,
its ups and downs,
donuts and water,
the screams of horror,
the compulsive exercise,
I wanna jump off,
its going too fast,
its curves are my recovery process.
the smooth ones the better times,
the sharp ones=what seems to always be.My life's a blur
a sea of calories
in everything,
everywhere,
from minute,
to megas,
it never stops,
calculating,
counting,
measuring,
weighing,
its a violent cycle,
spinning its forces,
winding up,
a washing machine,
I'm amongst the cloths-trapped there.Engaged,
the kallah glows,
flaunting her glamorous jewelry,
radiant smile,
vibrant expression,
she gazes at her prize,
he does the same.
she feels treasured,
lucky,
prized possession,
married,
tears flowing like a river,
at her chuppah,
hidden under the crisp white veil
she davens for success,
her future,
children, parnassah,
her chasson,
swaying violently,
eyebrows furrowed in concentration,
lips parched,
he smashes his foot magically on the glass,
shatters,
in a million pieces,
yet life's begun for the new couple.
they've embarked on a new journey,
on this remarkable night,
memorable forever.Posted 3 years ago # -
A piercing cry slices the air,
a new baby,
so tiny,
innocent and fragile,
unknown destiny,
a future it beholds,
its scrawny body wiggles in its mother's tender arms,
opportunity
for growth,
for a healthy child,
for success, blessing, happiness.
Do what's right with your child,
raise it well,
love it,
care for it,
because its mine too.Posted 3 years ago # -
Welcome back, blaba! And wow! Your new poems are really amazing! The one about the wedding is truly beautiful, it conveys the imagery of a Jewish wedding so well. May we all get to that point in our lives at the right time.
The poem about the baby is wonderful. I'm just wondering: In the last line, are you referring to G-d? Because that's absolutely true, we must care for our children and love them and raise them well partly because it is G-d's child as well.PrincessEagle, I'm with you on the "Poetry n' C-C"!
Posted 3 years ago # -
WHOAAAAAAA! GREAT JOB, BUT very sad!!! shom me something positive.... i know u cud do it...
Posted 3 years ago # -
hey blabla, welcome back. u were missed around here! How are you?
I second MiddlePath's wedding compliment. Thats an amazing piece and really puts the emotions of the moment into words. I really like the baby poem- a start of a new life with all the opportunity it brings, to raise as well as one can...
as for the first 2, :(. Time to go out with some friends, let loose, and have some fun and whole-hearted distraction! Tell those thoughts to take a break!Posted 3 years ago # -
Marriage
devotion
Divorce
Work out emotionsFeeling on high
Then a low
At times gloomy
Next, aglowwhy'd it have to be
I really don't know
But from here
There only one way ill goIll pick myself up high
Ill do my best
Put fun back into life
Come on, a little zestYeh we don't choose what happens
We all know that's true
But after all goes down
its really up to youBlaming, mad ,upset
Or u can accept
This is the will of the Holy One
stronger u can becomeGather ur strength
Put ur mind at ease
Look forward
At ur life aheadIt could have been worse
A child born
Connected forever
You'd be wornLook at the bright side
You'll aprreciate the next
So go on, on high
Ur very blessedHashem please send me the one
Meant for me
Love,caring,hope,sharing,success,family and all that's good
Till one hundred And twentyPosted 3 years ago # -
Q: is there anything to DO with poetry, like how would you publish it or just get it out to the world, besides for this forum? Although this is great, i feel like there should be something more... Anyone know of any?
Posted 3 years ago # -
even if nothing is done so to say with the poetry, it does a good job of expressing emotions and conveing feelings. i read this thread when i see new posts and i have to say this is probably the most moving thread in the entire CR. blabla, princesseagle, callmedave, puppy, and everyone else who has posted, i LOVE your writings. maybe one day i'll post s/t i once wrote. but i feel its nothing compared to this stuff
Posted 3 years ago # -
i hope my poems don't get out to the world! :)
No, sorry can't help you. Though i know if i'd send an email to my contacts, and they liked it and forwarded it theirs... pretty soon i'd be getting it back 10 steps later...
Hey yentingyenta! who's comparing! Any piece anyone writes can interest or touch even one person and that's all that matters! We'd love to see your work. Don't rate yourself. We've seen here posters who thought their work was worthless, and was truly amazing. Join us!Posted 3 years ago # -
613blue: you can always try and publisha a book. or if thats too drastic you can try and submit it into some magazine that will publish it if its rlly good. theres also these poetry contests that you can sign up for, im not sure how it works though. but yentingyenta is right, its more for just expressing emotion and maybe one day when you die someone will discover it and Publish it and youll be famous. thats what happened to a bunch of these famous writers.
Posted 3 years ago # -
doesn't rhyme, doesn't flow (well it does in my mind), but it's what came out of my pen...
one flame is still burning,
the last flame of chanuka,
ever smaller, weaker, lessthe chag is soon ending
its ruchni boost dissipating
to keep that in us is our test.the night has long fallen
its darkness surrounds us
yet one flickering flame holds strongpulling up every drop
of life-giving oil
it tries to last so longi want to catch that flame
plant it inside me
and never let it go outfor my neshama, alike,
a small, fluttering wick
to grow bright, ignite, so proudno more flickering fire
'neath winds of pain or doubt
do i ever want to see againbut for all those fires
to burst out in flame
feel the heat of love, not painfor the warmth to fill them
to ignite their souls
to never feel alone anymoreto engulf heart and mind
and erase every hurt
from now and forever morecome on, little flame,
don't give up, not yet
you have such power n the little sparkfor you've done your job
spread your flame within me
shown me a light in the darkPosted 3 years ago # -
Middlepath-I was intending that for parents because I don't appreciate the way mine raised me.
Having a really rough day today...maybe tomorrow will be better...doesn't seem like anything will be though :(
Had a party and reality hit again how immature and shallow my classmates are.Posted 3 years ago # -
Think first, what a beautiful poem. It really gives the right perspective of the potential problems or issues that may come during marriage. If we can deal with these problem the right way, together with our spouse, we can come to love them and appreciate them even more. May G-d send you your mate at the right time.
yentingyenta, I completely agree, this thread is the most moving, uplifting, and inspiring thread thread in the CR, whether the poems rhyme or not. What matters is the heart of the person writing the poem.
SaysMe, that's really beautiful. A great way to look at the final flame of the final night of Chanukah. May that flame continue to burn inside our souls for the rest of the year, keeping us warm, strong, and full of faith, so that we can overcome any challenge that we may encounter over the rest of the year.
blaba, I'm so sorry about how you feel about the way you were raised by your parents. It is especially hard to go through life when you don't feel loved or appreciated by the people who are supposed to be closest to you. Your message rings true. Parents must cherish their children, and always show them love, care, and support.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Says me - spot on!
Posted 3 years ago # -
I just wanted to be # 1
I was never #1
what would it feel like?
what would it be like?
How would I feel?
to be the first on somebody's mind?
somebody's thoughts
when they wake up they would think of me
ask about me?
call me ,see me, hear me
to have someone come home
and see me?
to have someone come home
and ask how your day was?
someone call up and say hello?
I was never number 1
do you see me?
do you hear me?
do you know me?
wife? mother? daughter ?sister? friend?
never # 1Posted 3 years ago # -
Hi, day by day! Welcome!
Your poem is well written, and I can relate to it myself, but on a different scale: I felt this way with my friends, neighbors, and community at large. It is very hard when you go by unnoticed. But perhaps we can look at it in another way: G-d does things in a hidden way. Many things happen that seem so natural and explainable, that it seems G-d isn't in them, but really He is. So if you are doing your best, and you feel you aren't getting noticed or appreciated, though it may be hard, you are truly emulating G-d, and He is smiling down at you. And that is an amazing thing. Of course, it is nice to get noticed and appreciated for our efforts. But that shouldn't be our driving force.And many times, people that get all the attention, and the care, and live in the limelight, won't know how to live when it is suddenly taken away from them.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Thank you middlepath, I needed to hear that. I'm a very sensitive person and overly shy person by nature, so I don't want or need the limelight, but sometimes its nice to be acknowledged . : )
Btw , I really enjoy your writings.Posted 3 years ago # -
Thanks oomis1105 and MiddlePath.
Day by day, i really appreciated ur piece and how it was written. i've felt that way... Why are there always ppl who blend into the wallpaper? especially in school....
MiddlePath- Ur responses are so amazing and encouraging and individualized. Its so special!
blabla- :( Wishing you a much much better day tomorrow filled with smiles and warmth!Posted 3 years ago # -
Thanks so much, day by day! I really appreciate that, and I'm so happy I was able to help out in some way. Looking forward to more poems from you!
SaysMe, thanks! I love your poems, keep em coming!
Posted 3 years ago # -
recommend listening to Michoel Pruzansky's Show Me the Way. Can help me feel, cry when i'm not too numb. The tefilla is all ours... The hashgacha pratis, the emotions...
Posted 3 years ago # -
the pain
it wont go away
I close my eyes ,I feel it
I see it , I taste it
make it stop
make the pain stop
the tears run freely
tear after tear
why did you die
the guilt
why did you leave
I close my eyes
and I can see you
I can still hear your voice
I can smell you
I just want to see you one more time
I want to talk to you
I have so many questions
are you ok?
I'm not its so hard
I have so much to tell you
so much to share with you
would you be proud of me?
the guilt
if I knew now what I knew then
would things have been differently?
I'm so sorry
forgive me , please please forgive mePosted 3 years ago # -
Hum.....let me think....
Wake up, school- learning basics
job, training skills
Carpool- doing chores
Appointments-responsibilities
Ear infection for little Moishe oh boy!
Being a parentBut when do we think?
making supper
To nourish the kids
completing a report
To pay for the foodBut when do we think?
Giving advice
Helping a friend
Listen ear
To soothe a a child
Proffesional opinion
To make some profitBut when do we think?
Cousins engaged
Lchaim
Few weeks later
Wedding
Getting ready pish poshBut when do we think?
Chanuka party
All had fun
Happy excited
Its in the airBut when do we think?
Give me a few years till
Things settle down a little
Then I can sort things out in my brain
I don't want to live in vainListen my friend nows the time
Its important not just my rhyme
To put thought into who u are and why
Don't let even one day "pass you by"Remember We're here for a little stay
And then in a moment we go away
No more carpool job or school
No more yeshiva or going to shulThere's a great purpose for each and every one
Think- where did I come from?
Why am I here and what should I do
Why am I different living as a JewWhat's my mission no doubt there must be one
I was handcrafted by the Holy One
Not mistake not extra just right
There's a purpose in every moment of my lifeSo when do we think?
All the time!
Whether ur doing a good deed
Or enjoying some lemon limeYou don't even have to make a date
Just look around and appreciate
The great wonders of the world
No not talking about the mallsThe trees the flowers the outdoors
Unimaginable wisdom
The human body and how it works
Will boggle ur mind if given some thoughtSo think all day while every thing you do
What am I doing why and for who?
What's my goal, starting now and here
If I don't know where I'm going
How will I know when I get there?Think, it'll give you insight
About urself
About ur life
You'll feel empowered
In control
Never in a lullThere's always pupose direction too
When ur a thinking Jew.Posted 3 years ago # -
In a world of darkness,
the rays of the sunshine,
hidden beyond the clouds,
white and fluffy,
gray and gloomy,
burring the brightness of the yellow sun,
can't peak out,
beaming,
its stuck in the darkness,
in an everlasting world of black.
everything's black,
it all seems wrong,
so wrong,
so bad,
the sun doesn't seem to come forth,
to shine its beaming rays on my back,
to beat down in all its light,
to bring happiness,
to glow,
to light up my world.
a world once failure,
a world awaiting successPosted 3 years ago # -
day after day, wow, that's heavy stuff... I'm unsure what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss and the seeming unfairness of not getting the chance to get the most out of the relationship. I hope you have people you can rely on to help fill that void. But besides people, filling that void is best done with G-d. G-d is always there for us, ready to put His arm around us. We should try our best to believe that He does only good, and though many things seem to us not good, and we think G-d is unfair, that isn't true. G-d always knows what is best for us, and gives us the opportunity to reach our potential by putting us in situations where He knows our potential can be really be reached. Please stay strong, and continue writing!
Think first, that is a wonderful poem, and so true! Thinking about those things during our everyday lives can help give us meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. We can all grow in this area. Thanks for writing it!
blaba, that is remarkable imagery! But think about it this way: Although the sun and its warm rays may be blocked by the dark clouds, it is still there. The warm and light is never gone. We may not see it because our vision of it is blocked by dark clouds, but it is always there. And clouds always move, so we will get the warm and light if we stick around. And the same goes for dealing with tough times. We may have difficulties and stress that we deal with, but if we can get through it, and stick around long enough, all that hard work will pay off when we get the opportunity to rejoice in the warmth and light that G-d gives us, and that warmth and light lasts forever.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Middle path thank you very much, your warm words encourage me to keep writing You're a very special persona!! Keep it up!
Posted 3 years ago # -
I am drowning
I try so hard
I am a good person
I am kind to others
I smile to you
I give of myselfI am drowning
I lend an ear
I am a good friend
I help when I can
I feel for others
I feel their painI am drowning
I don't know what more I can do
Hshm , I cry to you
I scream out to you
what do you want me to do
I pray to you ,I ask of you ,
I beg you of you
Please Hshm
don't let me drownPosted 3 years ago # -
Thanks so much, Think first!
day by day, first of all, I'm so sorry in my last post I called you "day after day", and not "day by day". Please forgive me. And wow, your new poem is obviously straight from the heart. It is amazing that you can give to others, and be kind, even while feeling that you are "drowning". But never think that all your kindness is for nothing. G-d sees it all, and will reward you for it. And even more, people will realize and appreciate all that you do, and you will be able to feel good about giving. And that is the biggest gift of all: The ability to love giving.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Thank you , middlepath, your words are so encouraging.Sometimes, its all you need to hear is a kind word, or a smile to brighten ones day : ) ( you didn't need to apologize)
Posted 3 years ago # -
Thanks, day by day! I'm so happy I was able to make a difference!
Posted 3 years ago # -
Short blond hair,
soft pink cheeks,
round blue eyes,
big smile.
This little girl.Know not of life without yelling,
fighting parents,
taunting siblings.
Not of life without abuse,
name calling,
hitting.
This little broken girl.Know not of life without self-doubt,
self-harm,
suicidal thoughts.
Not of life with close friends,
loving parents,
pampering.
This little independent girl.Posted 3 years ago # -
my friend
the one who was always there for me
the one I shared so much with
I laughed and cried with
you taught me so much
how to be strong,
how to give to another,
how to care and live and laugh
how to love,my friend you are in so much pain
I cry with you ,
I cry for youyou don't need me as a friend anymore...
as you have another
one that covers up your pain,
one that makes you numb
you don't feel anything any longer,
not laughter ,
not sadness
you don't see your kids smilesI don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
I love you,
I wish you loved you ,tooPosted 3 years ago # -
why are you doing this?
why are u doing it to me?
whhy are you forcing me
into something i say no to?
you think it's good for me
i say no
doesn't my opinion count?
overriding me again and again
what else should i do?
why won't you listen
to my heart, to my tears?
don't push me
though you think you're helping
and i need you to force me.
you are wrong.
don't do it
the pain and regrets
the damage seen next time 'round
why do you refuse to listen
why will you not hear?
i cannot, will not
yell myself hoarse
if no hope of you accepting.
what else, where should i turn
who will let me choose if not you?
who?Posted 3 years ago # -
Wonder
How amazing it is to be alive
Alive
Full of Energy
Energy
Created with a spark
Spark
Shoots out of a flame
Flame
Provides us with steady warmth
Warmth
Something provided with care
Care
Something everyone wants others to give
Give
The true essence of love
Love
Must be cherished and appreciated
Appreciation
We must have for everything
Everything
Is for the best
Best
What we must try to do every dayPosted 3 years ago # -
In one word,
I can describe the world:
HELL
In one word,
I can describe school:
HELL
In one word,
I can describe exercise:
HELL.
How much more need I say?
to express what I bare,
the intense pain and anguish,
has always been there.
Will it stop?
will it end?
will it cease?
or will it extend?
The sound of my alarm clock,
fills me with dread,
no hitting the snooze,
my excuse will be misread.
I awaken somberly,
my eyelids flutter,
don't want to get up,
to this world of nasty clutter.
Screaming in pain,
I wail and shout,
I can't do this again,
I can't stick this out.
Yet my cries are in vain,
ignored by this world,
I'm snubbed, brushed aside,
with insults I'm hurled.
HELP! I can't go to school again...I just CAN'T!Posted 3 years ago # -
right now I'm desperate for emotional support...having a torturous night
Posted 3 years ago # -
Frustration roars over me,
like a lions claws,
awaiting its pray.
raging, fierce teeth,
penetrate the fragile deer,
its mighty claws tear it apart,
gnawing on its insides,
part by part,
the deer is killed.
I'm the deer.
The lion is this worldPosted 3 years ago # -
puppy, your poem is so well written, yet so sad. I find it remarkable that one of the features of this girl is having a big smile, even while going through everything you've written about after that. Assuming that this girl you are talking about is you, I am even more amazed that you can keep smiling even with all the suffering you've been through. It is almost unbearable that a girl can have no support from friends, siblings, or parents. A person always needs some support from somewhere.
Day by day, I am sorry for the pain your friend is going through. But just know that it is easier to deal with pain when you have someone with you, caring about you, carrying some of the burden, and easing your pain. It would seem that at a time like this, your friend needs you the most. You show your own pain in your poem, it is clear that you feel your friend's pain. Make sure your friend knows how much you care for her/him. That itself can ease the pain.
SaysMe, it is very hurtful when we must deal with people that stubbornly refuse to see our point of view. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. It is very difficult for these types of people to change, because once they are in a state of mind of not listening to others' opinions, they refuse to change their attitude for that same reason. I think it would be really good for you to find someone else who will listen to you, care about what you say, and is able to make decisions with you that will have the best impact on your future, because this person you refer to in your poem seems to be holding you down. Wishing you much success!
blaba, I'm really sorry about your night last night. I feel really bad that no one here was able to help immediately. Although this forum doesn't really update the newer posts till the morning, so I don't think anyone saw your posts till this morning. But I hope my post now helps in some way, and please forgive me for not posting last night when you needed it.
It is really depressing to hear about your feelings about school, and how much pain you go through every day when the day starts. I don't know what I can say to help with your views about school, but I will say this. It might be really good for you to make sure that you have something that you look forward to every day, and try to make that the focus of your day. Whether it's doing something you enjoy, talking to someone who respects you and cares for you, going to a place you feel happy, or anything else that is a good experience. If you have something like that every day, and make that the focus of your day, it can help with your general mood and lift your spirits.Another thing is to write down at the end of the day something good that happened that day, and try to focus you feelings on that. That can help with coping with the negative things, because it may help you look for the good things that happen instead of being tied down to the negative. I hope this helps!
Posted 3 years ago # -
blabla, hope you are okay tonight!
Posted 3 years ago # -
Thanks for your long, thoughtful reply. B"H doing much better tonight. Forgot my meds yesterday so I guess...
Posted 3 years ago # -
thank you MiddlePath. They definitely are holding me back from my dreams, tho are sure its for my good. And I have trouble standing up strongly enuf for myself sometimes... Its definitely frustrating+.
Blabla- so so glad ur feeling better. i wish those emotions will quickly disappear. Feel bad the posts didn't go through last nite and noone could be here with you.Most encouraging yet frustrating and daring line i was told this past week: "I don't think you have it in you to give up fighting (for a particular thing), though i understand you want to."
Posted 3 years ago # -
I really don't like singling out only one person's poem out of everyone else's, but, blabla, your poem stood out to me because I could relate. I had a difficult time in high school, and I too dreaded waking up every morning. I also referred to HS as hell. I was cleaning out my basement a few months ago and came across my notes. I couldn't believe some of the stuff I wrote, how I felt about school and the teachers and everything. I hope you hang in there because life does get better after HS. I'm sure people have told you this many times, and it's hard to imagine that life could get better, but please have faith. When you're out of HS and are able to make your own decisions, try to choose the path that you feel is best for you.
I hope my words gave you some comfort. I wish you lots of luck and know that we all care about you. Keep posting in this thread because it's a great way to release your feelings. Sending some virtual hugs your way =)
Posted 3 years ago # -
I wanna just get past this stage but I'm stuck here :( Yes, your post definitely did comfort me. Thanks a ton!
Posted 3 years ago # -
It's written in the Gemara Brachos 57b, if a person has put light a low mood (depressed), he has to do three things: smell(flowers,spices.....), see(panorama, beautiful architecture), hear(music, Rashi says the sweet voice of a woman). The Rambam says thst we don't have to wait to be depressed to do that.
To Blabla
Remember that you are special because there's only one Blabla. Your poetry is one of your talent. I'm sure that you have plenty more. Hashem loves you for who you are and what others say,if it's not positive, is not important.
I got a postcard for my twentieth birthday: saying : Do what you like to like what you do.
So let rock poets.Posted 3 years ago # -
Appreciation
Can make all the difference
Between marriage and divorce
Appreciation
Can be the key to make relationships
Better than worse
Appreciation
Can be the chord that'll hold one together in hard times
So go and appreciate people for their friendship, work and rhymes
appreciation
Can lift ones esteem
Yeh even adults not just teens
It can change the entire scene
From very bleak to totaly serene
Appreciation
Is paramount to ones life
With it one can weather the harshest strife
No matter how bitter the pill may taste
You won't feel ur life is a waste
Appreciation
To a person is like gas to a car
Without it its hard to move with it you'll go far
I think its because one wants to feel accomplishment
And it touches their heart when they get a compliment
It propells us further puts bounce in our step
Makes you feel light and nothing is a shlep
So make sure to show appreciation to everyone in ur world
Family friend and all of us on yeshiva world.A special appreciation to middlepath in the name of all of us
Middlepaths kinds word has encouraged us through many a fussI appreciate that my boss doesn't show appreciation
It helped me create this entire composition.Show appreciation my friends, you'll be a happier person.
Posted 3 years ago # -
MP, I'm just reading through some of your response posts. They're really amazing. Keep helping people.
blabla, I hope I'm not going out of line here, but you seem to keep late hours (as do I). If you ever need to talk, my email address is available. (Its very talented ☺)
Posted 3 years ago # -
SaysMe, I'm sorry that it's so frustrating. Perhaps showing the people that are holding you back that you can stand up for yourself, will make them respect you and your decisions more. It can be difficult, but worth it!
QB, I'm glad to see you here in this thread! And your support to blabla is so beautiful. Keep posting here!
Yoni, that is so true! And welcome!
Think first, thanks so much, that is very sweet of you. And that is very true. Appreciation can really have a huge impact, and is something that we all should give and show, because it is something that we would want to receive from others.
Thanks, kapusta! I will try.
Some of the regulars here haven't posted in a while, like PrincessEagle and observanteen, as well as a few newer posters like kido and here i go.. hope you are all doing okay.
Posted 3 years ago # -
No problem, blabla. Glad to help =)
Thanks, MP =)
Posted 3 years ago #
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