Babysitter Sharing

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  • #1360564

    Meno
    Participant

    If you share a babysitter with someone else, and one of the kids is sick on a particular day (to the extent that you would not want the kids to be near each other), how do you decide who gets the babysitter that day?

    #1360608

    Joseph
    Participant

    You follow the ways of Shlomo. Someone offers to cut the babysitter in half and each mother gets half of her. Whoever accepts first doesn’t get any babysitter.

    #1361076

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I would say, all else being equal, that the healty child gets the babysitter, but the specifics should be worked out when the arrangements are first made.

    Is all else equal, or are there other factors which may favor one over the other?

    #1361097

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    You put the kids in two different bedrooms and have the babysitter go back and forth.

    #1361142

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    My answer would probably be about how heartbreaking it is to think of a sick kid being home with a babysitter instead of a family member which nobody wants to hear so I’ll refrain from commenting.

    🤒😢👶🏻💔

    #1361224

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Yes, Syag I was thinking the same, but acknowledge that for some families that could be very difficult to impossible to do.
    Another point in favor of the healthy baby- why should the babysitter get sick? Or catch something that she could pass on to her family/little kids, as the case may be?

    #1361526

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Please state how they “share the babysitter”? Do you bring the children to the baby sitter? Is it a daily arrangement based on hours? Too little information to even offer a response.

    #1361560

    Meno
    Participant

    Sorry, I was gonna give more details but I wasn’t sure which details people would consider to be relevant, and also I just didn’t feel like writing it all out.

    The arrangement is that we bring our kids to the other person’s house and the babysitter watches all the kids there. We each pay based on the number of hours that our kids are there, but it’s pretty much a fixed amount per week.

    I should point out that although the babysitter generally watches the kids at the other people’s house, there’s no reason she can’t watch our kids at at our house on any particular day.

    #1362137

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Meno: Sit down with the other parents and discuss it. There is no simple answer.

    #1362291

    Meno
    Participant

    Thanks, that’s what we did.

    We were actually standing, and it was over the phone, but the idea is the same.

    #1363035

    lesschumras
    Participant

    Syag, dad is kolel, mom works. What exactly are they supposed to do? Kids get sick and she can’t keep staying home

    #1363039

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    True, I mean it’s just a kid. So what if they feel abandoned every now and then. They’ll get over it.

    #1363044

    Meno
    Participant

    True, I mean it’s just a kid. So what if they feel abandoned every now and then. They’ll get over it.

    Now you’re getting it.

    #1363077

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    “Now you’re getting it.”

    Yeah, but the kids aren’t. but whatever.

    #1363244

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Stop making working for a living to support one’s children sound like a crime.

    #1363263

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Not that it’s your place to bully people for expressing their beliefs but I would counter with – Stop making abandoning your kids to a third party sound like it’s a healthy option.

    #1363272

    Meno
    Participant

    Not that it’s your place to bully people for expressing their beliefs…

    Oh puhleeease

    #1363278

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    There is a huge difference between disagreeing with someones beliefs and bullying them for expressing themselves.
    If you disagree, feel free to say so, instead of telling me I’m not allowed to disagree.

    #1363285

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Meno – you don’t like my feelings on babysitting any more than I like yours. And I am welcome to say so, as are you. But I don’t bully you for saying so or doing so. And I don’t go around trolling threads to bring out the worst in people.

    #1363287

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    You’re bullying me for my methods of disagreeing.

    #1363301

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Actually I’m not, which I know you know. So sorry.

    #1363312

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Thanks, that’s what we did.

    Sure, leave us in suspense as to what the resolution was.

    #1363321

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I would think that one of the issues here might be that different people have different ideas of what is considered “too sick to be around other kids”.

    If the parents of the sick kid think he’s too sick to go to the babysitter, then I would think that they should be the ones who don’t get the babysitter. But if they thought it made sense to send him and the other parents didn’t, then it’s more complicated and I think you need to ask a sheilah. Maybe you should do that in any case.

    I agree with DY that it’s best to work these things out beforehand, but that doesn’t help you now. Also, it’s hard to work it out beforehand since different people have different ideas of what is considered “too sick to be around other kids”.

    #1363323

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Syag, I know otherwise. My imperative sentence was simply my way of phrasing my disagreement, and your statement was a way of disparaging me and my way of communicating.

    #1363859

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    In previous generations there were no babysitters. The child would be left completely alone.

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