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What do you say to references that you are calling?
Please tell me the truth
Ask if the guy is normal. That’s may favorite question
Meno, should it be asked if the girl is normal?
By definition, girls aren’t normal.
In fact, most people other than me are not normal.
I finally figured it out. Me-no is short for “me normal”.
You shouldnt say anything. You should ask questions and invite the reference to say something.
You shouldnt say anything
I fervently disagree. You should tell them who you are and why you’re calling.
I introduce myself and tell them why I am calling. I have had situations where the reference has offered a “narrative” while others wanted me to ask questions.
One thing you may want to do is to call people who you know in that neighborhood and ask if they know the family. You may get better information then from the “official references”.
I know someone who called a member of his family and only asked if he knew “Ploni” and the person responded “what a sweet boy”. Only then was he told that the caller was checking on “Ploni” as a potential shidduch for his daughter.
1. Ask them how the weather is.
2. If they know of any good sales.
3. How much they paid on their last water bill.How much they paid on their last water bill
That is terribly rude. This is why there’s a shidduch crisis.
How about we abolish the ridiculous shidduch system and allow two individuals to organically meet on their own? (:
“I fervently disagree. You should tell them who you are and why you’re calling.”
Obviously. that is true of any phone call you make. The question is, what do you say after the introduction and my answer is, nothing. Ask questions and let them talk.
Obviously. that is true of any phone call you make.
I actually said that as a joke, but based on what iacisrmma said, it might be better if you don’t say why you’re calling.
Meno: That phone call I described was not to someone listed as the reference.
Lots of people didnt introduce themselves when calling about yours truly. Not right, they probably did it so I shouldn’t know who they were. What bothers me more than them not introducing themselves is that now i don’t who was calling about me 😉
How about we abolish the ridiculous shidduch system
yupallow two individuals to organically meet on their own?
hmmmm….. naaa“I actually said that as a joke, but based on what iacisrmma said, it might be better if you don’t say why you’re calling.”
The Chofetz Chaim says that’s assur. You are only allowed to ask for and to listen to information l’toeles if the person knows it’s l’toeles. Otherwise, he is doing an aveira by telling you about the person since he is not speaking l’toeles, and you are doing an averia by asking him for information since you are leading him to sin.
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