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Changing Bad Habits in a Marriage

(19 posts)
  • Started 6 months ago by shmoel
  • Latest reply from minyan gal

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  1. shmoel
    Member

    Can bad habits be changed after one is married?

    Posted 6 months ago #
  2. gavra_at_work
    Member

    Not without the willingness on the part of the spouse that something is wrong, which most shlubs can't even dream of.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  3. miritchka
    Member

    when you have a supportive spouse (spoken from experience)

    Posted 6 months ago #
  4. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a woman; not Mod 80. Sometimes a bit over the top.

    Can bad habits be changed after one is married?

    I think once nuns are married, they aren't nuns anymore, and are allowed to totally dump their bad or good habits.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  5. popa: "I think once nuns are married, they aren't nuns anymore, and are allowed to totally dump their bad or good habits. "

    *like*

    OP: are these own habits or that of a spouse?
    own bad habits can always be changed, though it needs hard work.
    as for trying to change a spouse - it's a touchy topic.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  6. BTGuy
    Member

    Yes. One is obligated to; therefore, it can be done. It takes effort, but it also takes effort to deal with incompatibility due to bad habits. One way or the other the wise choice to deal with is the work on changing bad habits. Also, changing bad habits is not such a bad thing, either.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  7. smartcookie
    Member

    I fail to see what marriage has to do with changing a habit.
    I don't think it makes it simpler or more difficult. It's just up to the person's strong will to change.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  8. thinkinghard
    Member

    One can change his/her bad habits anytime in their life. A supportive spouse is a bonus, and if s/he isn't supportive, one can still change.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  9. crazykanoiy
    Member

    Why not? What does marrige have to do with changing habits? Do you think one remains the same person from age 25 until 120?

    Posted 6 months ago #
  10. Jothar
    F.M.C.R.S. and occasional creator of chaos.

    try Zelig Pliskin books. Very good for changing habits.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  11. oot for life
    Member

    one can change his own habits, one cannot change the habits of his spouse

    Posted 6 months ago #
  12. Yatzmich
    Member

    From the question, it would seem like the OP is not married.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  13. aries2756
    Smartness runs in my family.

    Everyone and anyone can choose to change anything about themselves if they are sincere and honest about the commitment to make the change. But you can only change yourself you can't change anyone else.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  14. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a woman; not Mod 80. Sometimes a bit over the top.

    There's an old saying:
    "You can change your habits, and you can change your wife. But you can't change your wife's habits."

    Posted 6 months ago #
  15. miritchka
    Member

    aries, i've missed you!

    Posted 6 months ago #
  16. Shrek
    I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?

    depends on what you mean by bad habits. Rabbi Abraham Twerski says that "marriage is not a hospital". He is refering to emotional problems, addictions, etc.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  17. Astrix
    Member

    You should change your bad habits b4 u get married.Im not talking about stupid little things...like serious bad habits..when you have a wife with you things are harder to change while u r trying to build a steady stable relationship.Im not married but i can imagine.

    Posted 6 months ago #
  18. Jothar
    F.M.C.R.S. and occasional creator of chaos.

    Marriage my not be a "hospital", but they call it it "commitment"- as in, you have to be committed to do it!

    Posted 6 months ago #
  19. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    One of my late father in law's favorite sayings was " a woman searches for a long time to find the perfect man and then spends the rest of her life trying to change him." Unfortunately, his own son was unchangeable.

    Posted 6 months ago #

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