Dating websites

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  • #607354

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    So, we discuss about shidduchim, but I haven’t seen any discussions of these.

    SYAS vs. Jwed/Frumster?

    Do they work?

    Do they fix the shidduch crisis?

    How do you feel about them?

    Do they compromise tznius?

    #917582

    I am a paying member on Jwed – renamed from Frumster.

    According to the site-manager’s numbers on their forum, if you initiate an email to another member, 69% to 73% do not respond. This does not say how many responses, when that happens are rejections.

    #917583

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I’m also a paying member.

    Anyone else brave enough to share experiences?

    #917584

    WIY
    Member

    For a second I thought the title was debating websites.

    #917585

    mercury
    Member

    it all depends on your hashkafa. i havent been on these sites in a while but i was on both frumster and SYAS. frumster seems like it has very good modern ortho boys but not so many yeshivish type boys. the ones that were “yeshivish” (i use that term lightly as no good yeshiva boy would ever put himself on a dating website) had an issue such as a handicap, divorce, or on the older side. that was my experience so its great for girls who have similar qualities. syas is a great site, however it didnt work for me. i was on there many years. i went months without getting a single name. i would not only email my personal shadchanim, but many others who specify in the type i was looking for to help look out for me. their response? sorry no one matches your criteria. so either i would go months without getting a name or i would get a whole bunch of people that wasnt what i was looking for. the site is great. but its all luck on who is actually on there. you cant look out for yourself thats the one thing i dislike. if i could pick someone on my own and then have a shadchan suggest it that would have been ideal. i was also once upon a time on futuresimchas. many boys wrote silly profiles and seemed immature and not really interested in shidduch dating but just “shmoozing”. i actually did a meet a boy on FS who i wanted to go out with but he didnt really wanna go out/date so he set me set me up with a friend of his and i actually married the friend! so ya with these sites you never know! good luck!

    #917586

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    WIY: LOL. I was actually thinking it could be misunderstood as a website used to date things… date as in time.

    Mercury: Thanks for your thoughtful response!

    I wonder why no good yeshivish boy would put themselves on. I guess they are busy enough. I personally see it as a way to widen the pool (I don’t mind MO Machmir, if they are very frum and have a rav – it’s more important to me than having the yeshivish label.)

    Interesting and enlightening comment about disabilities, I will have to watch out for this. Had I known I may not have joined.

    SYAS: Interesting that you preface with SYAS is a great site. I also don’t like being unable to search on my own, I would prefer an anonymized profile at least. The shadchanim are also difficult to choose as they don’t seem to have any track record, so you have no idea who is effective. (Honestly, maybe I should get a married friend to become a shadchan on that website, so that I could search from their login.) However, I like that it is more tzanua than Jwed, and having a go-between.

    Your futuresimchas story is great, I love the kind of story where in the end the suggestion came from left field!

    #917587

    mercury
    Member

    well i didnt really like any of the sites but i was just trying to portray the positives of each one. i forgot to mention that in futuresimchas i really like the fact you can talk to the girls also. i made some really good friends on that website who were also having shidduch problems and years later we still keep in touch! i also tried singles events. but that was only after i turned 25 or 26 and was considered an “older single”. the boys there werent hashkaficly my type at all but many times you meet people just to network. i met a shadchan in passing at an event once that called me up months later about a boy. you just have to put your name out there. whether its shadchanim, websites, events, etc…the more places the better. and your right i still laugh at the funny future simchas story. you never know who or where your shliach will come from and which random person (like in my case) will collect shadchanus money!

    #917588

    N.G
    Member

    Do you even think the people on these dating websites are real?

    #917589

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Thanks mercury.

    N.G. Well, I’m real. Are you real?

    #917590

    N.G
    Member

    Yes i am real. I mean the people don’t all want to get married on the site. There doing it for the fun of it.

    #917591

    RedNails19
    Member

    As a norm single girl from I’ve tried some of these sites; mostly for the fun of it but in all seriousness- you gotta have lotta seats dishmaya!!!

    I’ve tried

    Jdate- terrible, meshuginaz

    Jwed- unless you have an exceptional photo if yourself no ones talking ya; and costs u thirty but a month

    Saw you at Sinai- never tried it

    Zivug Zone- prob ur best bet bec everything is filtered I think; and the chuchma behind it is good; it’s more difficult not as easy access but its alright

    Went on all for a day- week max

    Veeeeerybunimpressed

    But try ur luck

    Best bet is saw u at Sinai bec ur dealing w/ real shadchanim

    #917592

    well i am a single guy been on these websites on and of paid for some time too all i can say they are useless never had a date from these web sites so for all of you who are about to register don’t bother they don’t do much!

    (besides if you want to keep getting advertising emails then do)

    #917593

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Mr Frozeover, I’m a girl and have had a very different experience. It is actually really helpful to be able to see right away when someone is not for you, and you can learn a lot from most people’s profiles. The regular shidduch system has too many in-betweens, I doubt I’d have managed to meet anyone on target if I relied on it exclusively.

    Maybe you need to fix your profile, add a picture, contact some people. You can’t expect things to just arrive at your doorstep.

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