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1. popa_bar_abba
   Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

   The quality of advice columns has sunk really low. So I decided to start my own! On this advice column, you can ask anything you want; about relationships, chinuch, life, whatever. I will share with you sage popa wisdom, and will even be nice.

   But first, I will share with you some of the bad advice I've been seeing.

   In Readers Digests' "Ask Laskas", someone asked that she rides a school shuttle, and every day an older woman boards and asks this girl specifically for her seat--every day. Laskas says to shut up and give her seat!

   In some random one called "Ask Amy", I saw multiple horrible advice, but not for YWN.

   In some frum one, a guy asks that he has been to multiple frum therapists, and just now he went to a non-frum one. The non frum one was the first to ask him about his relationship with G-d. So he wants to know if that is an appropriate discussion for his therapy. The advice columnist says it is appropriate, and sort of leaves it at that.
   Blazes! That is precisely why you should only go to a frum therapist! Because frum people's emotional issues are inextricably linked to their religion.

   So, ask what you will. I'll be nice and sage.

   Posted 11 months ago #

2. Feif Un
   Proud Modern Orthodox

   Excuse me, but I started the original advice column here. This is hasagas gvul, and you have no right to do this.

   Posted 11 months ago #

3. popa_bar_abba
   Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

   Could you pose that as a question, please?

   (I mean, oops, sorry, I didn't remember. Link to it)

   Posted 11 months ago #

4. wanderingchana
   expat

   How about Torah Jeopardy instead?

   Posted 11 months ago #

5. Chulent
   Joseph

   Dear Popa,

   Should I eat Cheerios or Corn Flakes for breakfast?

   Posted 11 months ago #

6. popa_bar_abba
   Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

   How about torah jeapordy instead?

   That is a very good question. I would suggest both.

   Posted 11 months ago #

7. kapusta
   CR Queen - “Best of luck. Avoid roasted cabbage, don’t eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!”

   Nice job on the title.

   *kapusta*

   Posted 11 months ago #

8. R klonimus kalman wesselburger
   Member

   I need a serious aitza to help me stop biting my nails.

   Posted 11 months ago #

9. DisgruntledGoat
   Member

   @R'KKW

   Agreed. Just cant COPE with my nails anymore!

   Posted 11 months ago #

10. wanderingchana
    expat

    I'm sorry, but you have to phrase your answer in the form of a question.

    Posted 11 months ago #

11. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Biting nails:
    Popa once needed to stop wasting time on the internet when he was working on the computer. So he said he would give 10 dollars to obamas campaign each time he did it. Try this for a few weeks.

    Posted 11 months ago #

12. TheMusicMan
    Epigraph: Director of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy

    Are diversified polysyllabic meanderings of the grandiloquent form in direct contradiction with the eclectic prolixity apparent in entirely unverifiable (and heavily redundant) oxymorons which use excessive nomenclatural terminology?

    Posted 11 months ago #

13. OneOfMany
    The Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple ^_^

    TheMusicMan: I think you need to try HERE. ^_^

    Posted 11 months ago #

14. No One Mourns The Wicked
    No one - except Yankee fans

    Brilliant title!

    Posted 11 months ago #

15. TheMusicMan
    Epigraph: Director of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy

    @OneOfMany: You should see my post there!

    Posted 11 months ago #

16. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Why don't we have cheesecake on Chanukah?

    Posted 11 months ago #

17. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Why don't we have cheesecake on Chanukah?

    People often eat things when there is a yetzer hara to eat them. That is why people eat milchigs on shevuos, because you are obligated to eat meat, so they have a yetzer hara to not eat meat.

    On chanuka, however, there is no mitzva to eat meat specifically every day, so there is no yetzer hara to eat milchigs.

    Posted 11 months ago #

18. ItcheSrulik
    Formerly college sheigetz. Now ger.

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    1.500 years ago someone sat on a bench in my garden and broke it. He never even apologized, let alone offered to pay for the bench. Can I take him to court?

    Sincerely,
    Reuven (or maybe Shimon)

    Posted 11 months ago #

19. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    1.500 years ago someone sat on a bench in my garden and broke it. He never even apologized, let alone offered to pay for the bench. Can I take him to court?

    Sincerely,
    Reuven (or maybe Shimon)

    Dear Reuven (or maybe Shimon),

    I'm sorry. But I'm still not paying; it was going to break anyway.

    Love,
    Popa Bar Abby

    Posted 11 months ago #

20. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    Thank You!
    This is so much better than those other advice columns.

    Posted 11 months ago #

21. ItcheSrulik
    Formerly college sheigetz. Now ger.

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    No, not that case. The one that the gemara says is pshita.

    Sincerely,
    Shimon (or Reuven)

    Posted 11 months ago #

22. cinderella
    If the shoe fits....

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    There's leftover cheesecake that I really want to eat. Should I? If yes, should I have the mocha or the Oreo one?

    Sincerely,
    Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn't know if she should

    Posted 11 months ago #

23. Razzle
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I sent an email to somone and they answered on shabbos should I still email them???

    Posted 11 months ago #

24. ZeesKite
    Aquilone Dolce

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I can't think of anything to ask. Help me.

    Posted 11 months ago #

25. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    There's leftover cheesecake that I really want to eat. Should I? If yes, should I have the mocha or the Oreo one?

    Sincerely,
    Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn't know if she should

    Dear Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn't know if she should,

    It is proper to eat leftovers from yontiff, because that way one will not cook to little for yontiff. You should eat both.

    However, if you are normal like me, and think that cheesecake is disgusting, then you should throw them both at your wife.

    Posted 11 months ago #

26. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I sent an email to somone and they answered on shabbos should I still email them???

    I would personally try to not email them right before shabbos anymore.

    Posted 11 months ago #

27. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I can't think of anything to ask. Help me.

    Dear Help Me,

    It sounds like you have no relationship problems. If so, it probably means you are being too careful, and not looking out for your interests enough. I would suggest spending an extra half hour at the bar each night before coming home.

    Posted 11 months ago #

28. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    Dear Popa Bar Abba

    Why did you say something about someones wife when they clearly stated they were female?

    Sincerely
    Confused at Popa Bar Abby's Ignorance

    Posted 11 months ago #

29. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa Bar Abba

    Why did you say something about someones wife when they clearly stated they were female?

    Sincerely
    Confused at Popa Bar Abby's Ignorance

    Dear Confused,

    The passuk calls the livyason a male, even though it really is a female, because it is more tznius. I do the same.

    Posted 11 months ago #

30. cinderella
    If the shoe fits....

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Your advice really worked!! I feel so fulfilled and accomplished now. I don't know where I would be without your advice.

    Sincerely,
    Fat and Grateful

    P.S. Are you calling me a livyasan?

    Posted 11 months ago #

31. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear fat and grateful,

    Did you eat them, or throw them at your wife?

    P.S. Ummm, no comment?

    Posted 11 months ago #

32. Chulent
    Joseph

    Dear Abby,

    Should I delay marriage while I pursue a higher education?

    Posted 11 months ago #

33. cinderella
    If the shoe fits....

    Did you eat them, or throw them at your wife?

    Well, I don't have a wife to throw it at so I just ate it. But I think you may need help if you don't like cheesecake. Why don't you write a letter to yourself?

    Posted 11 months ago #

34. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Abby,

    Should I delay marriage while I pursue a higher education?

    Dear afraid of marriage,

    Blazes no! If you are delaying marriage, you should do something fun meanwhile. Save the higher education for when you're married anyway.

    I suggest being a ski bum in the winter, and a backpacking in the summer.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    Posted 11 months ago #

35. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear doesn't like cheesecake,

    Cheesecake is how we are mechaper for eating milchigs on yontiff. You should eat it specifically because it is disgusting.

    Love,
    Popa bar Abby

    Posted 11 months ago #

36. OneOfMany
    The Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple ^_^

    Dear Abby,

    I think cheesecake is disgusting, and I want to take your advice and throw it at my wife. But I don't have one. Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?

    Sincerely,

    a Livyoson

    Posted 11 months ago #

37. Sam2
    The Even-Keeled and Erudite Shmuely Wollenberger from Las Vegas

    PBA: There's no Chiyuv to eat meat on Yom Tov. It's a B'feirush Rama in Hilchos Aninus (337 maybe?).

    Posted 11 months ago #

38. squeak
    Makes smalltalk with the two most sandy ectoplasmic beings on Earth (not to mention the Man on the Moon).

    Dear Bar Abby,

    What in the world was the point of being mattir internet use for business need, when we all know mitoch sh'hutra l'tzoirech, hutra nami sh'loi litzoirech? Do they think that just because we don't get to sit on the dais we don't know shas and poiskim?

    Sincerely,
    Logged Off Forever and Trying Not To Think

    Posted 11 months ago #

39. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Bar Abby,

    What in the world was the point of being mattir internet use for business need, when we all know mitoch sh'hutra l'tzoirech, hutra nami sh'loi litzoirech? Do they think that just because we don't get to sit on the dais we don't know shas and poiskim?

    Sincerely,
    Logged Off Forever and Trying Not To Think

    Dear Logged Off,

    They assumed that without access to google, we wouldn't be able to find mareh mekomos anymore.

    Posted 11 months ago #

40. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I am still scratching my head to the question of why did the chicken cross the road. Please help fast

    Sincerely
    Stuck in a Pile of Dandruff

    Posted 11 months ago #

41. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I am still scratching my head to the question of why did the chicken cross the road. Please help fast

    Sincerely
    Stuck in a Pile of Dandruff

    Dear Stuck,

    You should bite your nails. That will help.

    Posted 11 months ago #

42. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    If I do so I will not take your nail biting advice.

    Posted 11 months ago #

43. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    If I do so I will not take your nail biting advice.

    I suggest biting the nails of one hand, and scratching with that hand.

    Posted 11 months ago #

44. happym19
    Member

    Dear poppa bar abby,
    was my post deleted or did my computer not post it cuz its procrastinating?
    sincerely,
    confused ;)........

    Dear happy, it was deleted. -95

    Posted 11 months ago #

45. happym19
    Member

    k thanks sorry!

    Posted 11 months ago #

46. oomis
    Member

    Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?"

    Were you not in Shul on Sunday?

    Posted 11 months ago #

47. OneOfMany
    The Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple ^_^

    I wasn't.

    Posted 11 months ago #

48. gefen
    Comes here for family time!

    Dear Bar Abby,
    It really bothers me when people say or write "yontiff". IT'S YOM TOV - BLAZES - CAN'T ANYONE GET THAT RIGHT?
    Yes dearest bar abby - you are guilty of that too.(see one of your above posts)
    What can I do to get over this? Or rather what can I do to get everyone in the world to say/write it correctly? AHHHHHHH!
    No - I am not hysterical. I'm a very calm, cool, and collected person. ;)

    Posted 11 months ago #

49. The Goq™
    Founder, President, Vice President and CEO of the CR Welcome Wagon!

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I have a coworker who is a very difficult person one of their faults is they don't know how to express gratitude this morning they got a personal call and i transferred it to them and said who was calling they said yeah, yeah? i asked dont you mean thank you for answering your personal call, they refused to to say thank you and demanded i put the call through i said sorry and told the party that this coworker was unavailable. did i overreact? how would you handle such a coworker?

    Fed up in Sacramento

    Posted 11 months ago #

50. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Dear Abby,

    I think cheesecake is disgusting, and I want to take your advice and throw it at my wife. But I don't have one. Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?

    Sincerely,

    a Livyoson

    Dear Livyoson,

    The ikkar characteristic of a wife is that they do your laundry. Therefore, you should throw it at whomever does your laundry. If you do your own laundry, then you should throw it-and your laundry- at your roommate. If you have no roommates, you should throw both at your sister. If you have no sister, you should get married.

    Love,
    Popa bar Abby

    Posted 11 months ago #

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