Diamond ring for engagement

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  • #616548
    Gutvoch
    Member

    Good evening

    I want to know where do most people buy the diamond ring

    And should I buy the diamond separate or together with the ring?

    Thanks

    #1106888
    Joseph
    Participant

    De Beers, the international diamond conglomerate, had a successful advertising campaign 100 years ago convincing people that they need a diamond engagement ring.

    #1106889
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    You will buy it from a friend or from a jewelry store that a friend recommends.

    You will overpay.

    You will get a “good deal” compared to buying from like Tiffany’s or something like that.

    It’s the way it’s done. Rabbim shasu, rabbim yishtu, k’mishtei rishonim kach misthei acharonim.

    Mazel tov!

    #1106890
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Buy a white sapphire instead. They’re less sparkly and more tzniusdik.

    #1106891

    But it would now be unacceptable to the kallah

    and in-laws not to do it, so just help the man.

    #1106892
    charliehall
    Participant

    For most of its history De Beers could not operate legally within the United States, because it flagrantly violated US antitrust laws. Worse, it refused to cooperate with the United States in both World Wars, leaving the US desperately short of industrial diamonds. Then it bought up all the diamonds that the Soviet Union could produce once it found diamond reserves, giving that horror state a nice source of hard currency for its mischief. It engaged in unethical anticompetitive practices, forcing possible competitors out of business through predatory pricing.

    Finally, Canada and Australia had enough diamond production to ignore De Beers. It gave up its monopoly and now controls only about a third of world production. Interestingly, prices for diamonds are now higher than they were when De Beers held its monopoly. But the prices are now very variable. Very expensive diamonds are a highly speculative investment and inexpensive diamonds aren’t an investment at all.

    #1106893
    Joseph
    Participant

    But it would now be unacceptable to the kallah and in-laws not to do it

    So this very expensive cycle of narishkeit should never be broken?

    #1106894

    Not in a case where the other side isn’t OK with it,

    which I assumed to be the case here.

    #1106895
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    So this very expensive cycle of narishkeit should never be broken?

    Yes, like supporting married children >_<

    #1106896
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Popa, if he’ll pay less than in the big stores, by what standard do you think he will be overpaying?

    Syag, if it’s for social reasons, it’s naarishkeit. If it’s to allow the young man to learn, or allow them to get an education so that they can later support themselves, it’s not naarishkeit.

    #1106897
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    sure, sure, even if the parents are breaking from the burden, magia lahem. And of course nobody is doing it for social reasons. Perish the thought.

    (Save your ink, I can just reference an old thread. Or two. Or fifty)

    Joseph – I didn’t get a diamond, I got a saphire. just like the luchos, and affordable.

    #1106898
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It might be unaffordable, but that doesn’t make it naarishkeit.

    #1106899
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    it isn’t feasibly possible for you to be objective about this or any other societal or cultural norm that yeshivish people do so it’s a dumb conversation. Youre the one who has given me with hurtful and rude labels for thinking things thru instead of doing whatever everyone else does. Somehow you think of it as anti frum. Which it isn’t. Not everything frum people do is frum. Sometimes its new york. sometimes its the shtetl. And sometimes its just dumb.

    #1106900
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Your rant notwithstanding, it’s not naarishkeit.

    #1106901
    Joseph
    Participant

    If Wolf sees this thread he’ll be sure to relate how he got engaged with a candy ring.

    #1106902
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It is. There is no reason it can’t be any other gemstone.

    #1106903
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    …he said with all the objectivity of a lemming

    #1106904
    akuperma
    Participant

    While a diamond ring is clearly not a Jewish minhag, it is perhaps similar to men wearing pants. Over time it was accepted and almost all frum men now wear pants (a handful of don’t). Fedoras are similar. Two centuries ago no one thought a fedora was a Jewish hat, but now it is widely accepted.

    #1106905
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Instead of questioning my objectivity (which goes both ways), explain how I could possibly be wrong.

    #1106906
    Joseph
    Participant

    There is no reason it can’t be any other gemstone.

    Is there any pre-De Beers minhag in yiddishkeit that any gemstone be given when getting engaged?

    #1106907
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    a handful of don’t

    They were institutionalized.

    #1106908
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    There was always a minhag to give gifts. It makes sense for the gifts to be things which are currently desirable.

    #1106909
    Joseph
    Participant

    A minhag for a groom-to-bride gift to “make” the engagement?

    #1106910
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I doubt it (especially considering that it’s not halachically recommended), but that would anyhow be the bracelet, not the ring.

    #1106911
    Joseph
    Participant
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