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YWN Coffee Room » Family Matters

Does a Divorce indicate a Family lacked Shalom Bayis?

(19 posts)
  • Started 2 years ago by Naysberg
  • Latest reply from Seahorse

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  1. Naysberg
    Joseph

    If a couple divorced, does that necessarily demonstrate that they lacked shalom bayis?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. DaasYochid
    a singular mind

    Usually; but I can think of exceptions based on halachic considerations.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    Nah, sometimes it's just that they were hypnotized accidentally while watching a magic show, and had their memories switched, so that they think they didn't have shalom bayis, but really they did.

    That's why any competent rav would ask if they have been to a magic show lately before granting a divorce.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. DaasYochid
    a singular mind

    Yeah, that too.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. cantgetit
    Joseph

    DaasYochid: Those halachicly required divorces you are referring to are generally speaking, too, an indication of a lack of sholom bayis.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    DaasYochid: Those halachicly required divorces you are referring to are generally speaking, too, an indication of a lack of sholom bayis.

    Not where he's a kohen.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. artchill
    Member

    Nah!!! Of course it's not an indication of lack of Shalom Bayis! Don't all healthy couples who love each other get divorced???

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. besalel
    Member

    the way you posed the original question is a misnomer. its like asking is it always true that one who sits in the dark has no light in his room. but if you mean can two people who loved and may still love each other get divorced, i think most will agree, yes. (but love is only one part of sholom bayis.)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. DaasYochid
    a singular mind

    Popa, correct. Or if they are childless after ten years, although for some reason, that's usually not kept (I think Rivash addresses this).

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. Naysberg
    Joseph

    Kohanim is usually not kept either. The Kohen usually says he "doesn't believe it", and even if it is true he can stay married.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. frummy in the tummy
    if it isn't cholent, it's just not yummy (unless it's beer)

    Or a soldier who dies and they wrote a get to work lemafraiya.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. frummy in the tummy
    if it isn't cholent, it's just not yummy (unless it's beer)

    (or if he's mia)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. musser zoger
    Member

    Or a goses w/o kids gives a get if brother wouldn't give chalitza to the widow.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. Toi
    beware the cleats

    no they lacked carrots.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. Bar Shattya
    Official Dolt of the CR

    yeah, or maybe she just double-dared him to

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    Does starvation indicate a lack of food?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. cantgetit
    Joseph

    The Gemora and Shulchan Aruch talks about divorcing a wife for burning dinner or even finding a prettier wife, examples that may be non shalom Bahia issues.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. Health
    !

    Naysberg -"If a couple divorced, does that necessarily demonstrate that they lacked shalom bayis?"

    In my case there wasn't so much Sholom Bayis and I'm divorced, but the honest truth is I know couples much worse than I was with Sholom Bayis and are still married.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. Seahorse
    Member

    What is the purpose of the Talmud allowing divorce over burnt food? Do the rabbis really want so many divorces and such pressure put on women?

    Posted 2 years ago #

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