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How do I get rid of the feeling of emptiness.
I have a fulfilling job, 8+ hours a day. I come home to a nice house, children and adults to talk to. I have friends to socialize with, so what could lie behind it?
Are you sleeping enough? Are you getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night? If you are, are they consistently at the same time? Is it possible you need more than eight hours? Do you get woken up during the night? Are you a light sleeper?
I think that someone (maybe Rav Avigdor Miller), whenever anyone complained of depression, he said the first thing to do is to make sure you are getting enough sleep. I know that for me that is very true.
Of course, there are many other possibilities, but I think that lack of sleep must be ruled out first, IMHO.
“Are you getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night?”
Perhaps you missed the part when he/she said,
“I come home to…children…”
Meno: “Are you getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night?”
Perhaps you missed the part when he/she said,
“I come home to…children…”
Well then, I guess that answers that. I think there are parents who manage to get 8 hours of sleep at night. It’s hard, but if it’s important enough, it MIGHT be possible to find a way.
Alternatively, there’s always chocolate.
My next question was going to be, “Do you get enough chocolate?” (and I know everyone thinks I’m joking, but I’m not).
The next idea would be to try to find time to either take a walk/exercise/relax/ do something fun or to take a vacation if that’s an option.
It’s very possible that you are just working too hard (working 8 hours a day and coming home to kids is a lot even if the rest of the world does it!). I assume you have no choice, but it’s important to TRY to find a way to relax.
I don’t get 8 hours of sleep, so I think I’m gonna try the chocolate thing.
Pringles – i have the same issue! anyone want to help us out over here?
Meno – good idea. It really is the next best thing after sleeping!
Sparkly – have you tried chocolate or sleep?
Some people just arent human on less than 8 hours (ahem me) it could stem from many reasons…
ADVICE: go see your local doctor!
Shopping 613, I have always found doctors to be incredibly unhelpful when it comes to these kinds of things. When I was a teenage, I had a certain physical problem. I went to doctor after doctor, and all they could tell me was that it was probably stress. I had no idea what to do with that answer. Meanwhile, I had a problem and no one was giving me any aitza regarding how to solve it. When they said it was stress, it just made me feel like I was crazy or something.
Eventually (after a really long time), I figured out that the main issue was that I was not getting enough sleep. The second main issue was probably not giving myself time to chill. Why didn’t it occur to one person to ask a teenage girl if she is getting enough sleep?!!
I’m not saying that Pringles shouldn’t try going to a doctor. It’s definitely worth a try because they may be able to help. BUT, I just wouldn’t hold my breathe too hard, based on my experiences.
lilmod: Does it matter whether it is dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
are you proud of the job you have & enjoy it? very important especially if your doing it for your future. when a person has a job just because he needs parnassa but is not enjoying it, he comes home daily feeling empty, depressed & unaccomplished etc…
do you spend enough time with your children EVERY DAY after arriving home? rather it means dinner, games or homework etc… its important for many reasons including a person raises his/her self-esteem when seeing their children growing up all due to their chinuch etc… for a parent to mot feel a life of emptiness its important for every parent to spend time with their children & get a feeling of accomplishment.
Joseph, in my opinion it has to be milk chocolate. Also, I’m not sure if it applies to men. I think chocolate might be a girl thing. I once read that women NEED to have a certain amount of chocolate in their diets.
Then again, I love meat and wine, so I suppose there can be men who like chocolate.
I find a feeling of emptiness comes from not being busy fulfilling my purpose that I was placed here for.
Are you busy looking for opportunities to do Chesed at your job. To make everything you do there into a Kiddush Hashem. To be at least be osek in doing your job l shaym shamayim, bringing home parnassah to raise ovdei Hashem.
The same when you come home.
I find that a feeling of emptiness comes from making myself the focus of my thoughts and actions.
Of course chocolate applies to men. It’s just that women require a higher dosage, and more frequently. Also, dark chocolate is health food.
“Also, dark chocolate is health food.”
That’s why it doesn’t help.
Dark chocolate helps for some people but not others.
lilmod: maybe the doctors in Israel are better…idk
What is your diet like?
In accordance with Viktor Frankl’s concept of logotherpay, if you find a sense of purpose in your life and work towards it, then you will continue to feel happier and happier as you continue to succeed.
im feeling down since i have an organic chemistry exam tomorrow. please daven for me.
Hatzlacha Sparkly!
Pringles, if your feeling of emptiness doesn’t stem from your environment, as it ostensibly doesn’t, perhaps it’s from something inside of you. Sleep will definitely help, and chocolate can help you ignore it, but maybe you should consider speaking with a mentor, a teacher, a therapist, or someone else who could help you get in touch with your feelings, identify underlying issues, and help you change for the better. It could come from any number of reasons, including lack of self-esteem. Although they wont admit it, most people experience some feelings of emptiness at some point during their life. If this feeling is chronic, it could represent more serious mental health concerns. Wikihow has some pointers that may be helpful to you. One thing it suggested that I think is very important is “filling your life with love,” surrounding yourself with people you love and creating positive experiences with them.
Hatzlacha. We’re here for you, Pringles,
hatzlacha Sparkly in everything from your test to your health etc…
put your faith & trust in Hashem & everything will be fine & go well, Hashem never turns one of his loving children away with their tefillos unanswered.
Hashem loves his children more then any physical parent does & more then Rochel Imeinu who cries every night for her children sufering in Galus.
Chocolate has no negative side effects other than weight gain, which is actually still totally worth it.
Pringles – your kind of young…
lilmod ulelamaid – thanks! especially with all those shiurim that i recently started going to thanks to the “influences” on here!
You are a teen and you “have a fulfilling job, 8+ hours a day.” shouldnt you be in school?
Chocolate is an effective remedy for some of the effects of dementors.
Mikvah in the morning will banish the chitzonim influencing the wrong thoughts.
Read the biography of the Baba Sali. The white book.
Pringles – see pringles also went to college or could have since he / she is working at a YOUNG age. Are you a girl or boy pringles the reason im asking is because i cant write he or she when i talk about you thats why i said he / she.
pringles- i think what you need is a good friend and just chill out.
twizzler – thats exactly what a teenager would say!
Hey pringles and twizzler! We should get together eat junk food!
laffy_taffy – totally.
Sparkly,
Only people with junk food names are invited. Sorry 🙁
laffy_taffy- im in for it!! anytime. But seriously, every person needs a good friend and every person needs to chill out and let go every once in a while.
Pringles, knowing you’re a teen makes a big difference, so I’m glad you told us that. I definitely would advice that you:
a) make sure you are getting enough sleep
b) make sure you are eating enough
c) go to the doctor
d) make sure you have a sense of purpose in life. Maybe going to a shiur or having a chevrusa can help with this. I would definitely recommend learning Chovos Halevavos, Shaar Habitachon.
e) Make sure that you have enough of a social life.
f) exercise
g) eat some chocolate
h) in general, make sure you have no needs that are being ignored.
i) consider cutting down your hours of work or taking a vacation.
Hatzlacha, and best wishes for a Kesiva V’chasima Tova!!! Please keep us updated!
im feeling REALLY down right now still after a day after hearing what happened.
The issue is i cant get over the fact that this person who i was so shocked to hear just passed away.
Do you have a therapist or someone objective in your life to talk to?
Often it really helps to talk to someone face to face, especially when for a teenager with siblings also vying for their needs also being met.
Maybe a school counselor or social worker who you can ask to talk to you about life for an hour? Adults want to help teenagers. You’re important and so is your happiness.
lightbrite – were NOT teens were young adults. do they have counselors at college?
Yes, some colleges have a personal counseling center, like Brooklyn College for example.
AND counseling is free for students of that college.
Spunk – ill h’h look into and start going after yom tov h’h.
Good for you! May this year bring you and all of us peace of mind and clarity.
Many people are lacking in Vitamin D. I take 50,000 IU once a week (Zahler’s). I felt it made a big difference in my mood after about 6 weeks. Doctor also said “you can’t overdose – you can take 4 pills every Rosh Chodesh – it gets absorbed by the fat, and is used as necessary”.
Our body requires about 4,000 /day. I don’t know where you are located, but most people on the US East Coast above VA are supposedly deficient due to lack of sun exposure. (Religious people are more deficient because we actually wear clothes outside.)
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