Yesterday I wasn't sympathetic to something my wife is going through. This morning she said that I am stupid and that there is no other word to describe me other than stupid. So forgive me if I ever say anything stupid in this forum - now you know why ;-)
Forgive Me(12 posts)
I dont think your wife thinking you are stupid is something you should laugh off.
This is not funny. you as a Husband should try to be as sympathetic as can be.
Women need sympathy.
well, thats if you are interested in having a wonderful life together.
now go buy your wife a gift (i.e. jewlery)
CR is not for your personal issues. Keep them in your house!
if i had a dime for every time my wife got upset at me for not being sympathetic, i be a billionaire. Its called being a man
Heshy, instead of asking forgiveness before you say/do something stupid and unsympathetic, why don't you try to be more sympathetic and "smart"? By agreeing that you are stupid you are giving up on yourself. We all have to change our bad middos. Don't give up so easily!
Make sure you take one step at a time
Remember that surrender is the road to no end...
Keep climbing, don’t let nothing stand in your way
Keep believing, pay no attention to what they say
Up is where you want to go
It’s dark and lonely down below
Keep fighting, this is one fight you won’t regret
Keep believing, you’ve got what it takes now don’t forget
Up is where you belong
It’s where your soul will find her song
...Life is a mountain we must climb!
So far "working harder" is the only one who understands what I was saying.
I wasn't unsympathetic on purpose.
I'd bet dollars to donuts that if the OP had been Chevy instead of Heshy, and she wrote the exact same OP except mentioning her husband said there is no other description than to describe her as stupid (after she wasn't sympathetic enough), you'd have the same crowd above here telling Chevy to speak to a counselor with some posters subtly suggesting she consider divorce. The same crowd would be blaming the man whichever foot the shoe was on.
Food for thought.
You should purposely try to be sympathetic.
I 'understand' you, however I dont think that you are the one that has to be 'undertsood'.
I think the question really is do you care how she feels?
It sounds like she was reduced to calling you stupid because of the lack of thought that went into your response.
Now you have to think about who's needs you're going to put first:yours or hers.
Sarcasm is simply a way of further avoiding any thought of her needs.
Wives have a great need to tell their husbands all the details of their lives. Instead of just listening sympathetically, men have a tendency to criticize the wife or to tell her exactly how should fix things. This is a big mistake! It's far better to just listen. It's very important not to criticize your wife even in the slightest way -- it is impossible to do this without her being very hurt and resenting you. See Rav Shalom Arush's marriage manual.
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