That story was wierddddddddddddddddddddddd.
YWN Coffee Room » Shidduchim
Funny Shidduch Stories
(1327 posts)-
Posted 6 years ago #
-
im assuming you met Nasi
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr. Pepper: your stories get better by the day! you still in the parsha?
Posted 6 years ago # -
FauxJoe?
:PPosted 6 years ago # -
I can only try: creativity points for you pal!
Posted 6 years ago # -
Jax-
Thank you.
Did you hear about the Native American ger? You know, the Sioux Jew?
(I'd better stop before I'm banned).Posted 6 years ago # -
joseph technically came first, i think. but i'm pretty sure josephf is the one known as the famous & popular one (sorry, other joseph. i mean 1st joseph. joseph-(that's minus)f.)
Posted 6 years ago # -
That story made me incredibly angry. That girl gives girls a bad name. What an incredible lack of sensitivity and seichel. I sincerely hope the story is made up.
Posted 6 years ago # -
I can only try: you crack me up! good to see ya around the cr!
Posted 6 years ago # -
aob, jospeh the original one was the popular one a few months back who on earth is this josephf?
Posted 6 years ago # -
Jax-
Thank you - likewise.
Posted 6 years ago # -
That girl needs help. I wonder what her references had said when asked about her middos?
Posted 6 years ago # -
Bais Yaakov maydel: the joseph you know has an ''f'' in his url of his sn!
Posted 6 years ago # -
Jax-
I've been out of the parsha for a couple of years now. (Although Dr. Pepper still reminds me that I am forever indebted to her even if all she ever did for me was to remove me from the parsha.)Posted 6 years ago # -
That girl needs help. I wonder what her references had said when asked about her middos?
What do you THINK her "references" (how I LOATHE that term - it's a shidduch, people, not a job application) would say? If her parents gave those names out as contacts, they are surely people who have only good things to say. Who would be foolish enough to give a name out to a shadchan of someone who has NEGATIVE opinions about the person in question?
Posted 6 years ago # -
My cousin told over a story about a girl who couldn't decide if she should close her top button or not. (It was obviously not a tznius problem.) In the end she left it open. She got into the car and buckled up. He turned to her and asked her to close the button... He meant the car lock. (Loooooong time ago. lol) They did live happily ever after, bunch of aineklach.
Posted 6 years ago # -
lol avremele! very funny :)
Posted 6 years ago # -
re: Dr. Pepper's FL/Montreal story
The bad middos of this girl is not even the worst of it. She sounds like she needs a full time psychologist. Who dares to do such completely retarded things?? I admire this guy’s guts for confronting her! I don't know why he even considered giving her a second chancePosted 6 years ago # -
I hesitated to post this at first because I thought that oomis1105 might have gone out with him http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/funny-shidduch-stories/page/2#post-42508 but I seriously doubt it (mainly because he never owned a lizard).
Before I even started dating I used to get a ride with a newly married guy to college. He's a very funny person but I respected him for his sincerity in not being a faker and asked him some questions about dating. (He said that he would either answer them honestly or tell me that he won't answer them at all.) At that naive part of my life, my biggest concern was how to say no to a girl without hurting her feelings.
He said what he does in those cases is he makes the girl say no, and told me a few ways he's done it. For starters when they get to a red light he has a contest with her to see who could find the prime factorization of the numeric part of licence plate of the car in front of them. He was good at this so I assume that he's done it numerous times before. He would also take off his left shoe and sock and pick at his callouses with his right hand while he drove with his left hand and right foot. (He demonstrated this for me.)
What reminded me about the guy that oomis1105 went out with was the way he would wait in line to wash in yeshiva. He would use his mathematical skills to predict how long of a wait he had until he reached the faucet (he would do this out loud for anyone who cared to listen). On dates he would complain in a really whiny voice about all his pet peeves. "It's reeeeeaaaaallllly not faaaaaiiiiiir when peeeeoooople take the waaasshhiiinngg cups from the diiiiiinnnning rroooommm to the doooorrrrmmms, the waaaiiiittiinnnggg tiiimmmmee in the liiinnnnneee is increeeaaasseed by as much as 33%. (He is an actuary now, by the way.)
He found it amusing that two girls that he went out with told him stories of what happened to their friends on dates that were stuff that he was actually the guy that did. The first one will get the whole post deleted so I'll wait until I get promoted to moderator to post it. The second one was when he took a girl that he already lost interest in to some sort of park, zoo, museum or something of the sort. There was a trail or path that crisscrossed itself over and over again but there was one direction that was supposed to be followed throughout. He told her that he did it so many times that he wants to do it backwards to make it more interesting. Being that it crisscrosses many time and they were going backwards, they kept on bumping in to a friend of hers, also on a date, over and over again. At that time he felt it was very important to tell her about his great aunts in-grown toe nail, in more detail than she cared to know about. Each time they passed her friend and her date he could sense her feeling embarrassed and making faces like "it's our first and last". (It was.)
He would also institute something called "window privileges", he explained to the girl that the use of the power windows in his car are not a right, but a privilege that must be earned.
I actually used that line on a date with my wife. On our first date my wife tried to lower the window but it was locked. My wife wanted to know why I kept it locked (it was actually a rental I picked up that morning that I didn't even check to see if the windows were unlocked or not). I explained that "windows are not a right but a privilege that must be earned, but you already earned your privileges", I smiled at her and unlocked the windows. She didn't laugh but after we got engaged (and she got to know me a little better) she said that she thought I was serious and it was really sweet of me.
Awwww, how romantic!
Posted 6 years ago # -
After the thread that was shut down today (finally), I welcome any stories that disparage actuaries!
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr. Pepper, your stories take the cake! They're hilarious!
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr. Pepper,
The car window reminds me of the guy that convinced his date that the audio in his car was motion-sensitive. This was right when they came out with steering-wheel controls for volume, and he adjusted the volume with those controls at one point (why they were listening to music in the first place, I don't know...) and completely amazed her. He showed her that when he waved his hand up or down, the volume would comply with his motions and encouraged her to try it. Of course, she didn't "get it right" the first couple of tries until he demonstrated the exact way to do it.
Needless to say, they didn't go out again.Posted 6 years ago # -
dr pepper i'm laughing from that last part about the windows but seriously, this guy is such a creep. don't you think it would be a lot easier if he was a decent guy on the date and then said no?
i don't know how this shidduch stuff works but it sounds really awkward.
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr. Pepper, I hope your friend got all the passive-aggressiveness out of his system before he got married. I agree with moish that he should have just said that he wasn't interested instead of playing games & wasting their time.
Posted 6 years ago # -
What about turning on the seat warmer for the passenger seat? Once we're trying to be cruel anyway....
Posted 6 years ago # -
moish: you just wait...
Posted 6 years ago # -
Squeak, the humour in your previous post far surpasses the humour in your attempted jokes.
Was quite funny, seriously
Posted 6 years ago # -
Thanks. I actually hear that a lot around here. Doesn't stop me from trying though!
Posted 6 years ago # -
mepal, no way- not me. i'm not dating anyone like that.
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr Pepper- these stories are giving me ulcers!!
where do you pick up these lunatics from?moish- don't listen to Dr Pepper, he's a yotzei min haklal. Do you hear anyone else with a book of stories like him?
Posted 6 years ago # -
moish: correction. I meant 'you just wait' till your dating! Of course, no NORMAL people do that.
Posted 6 years ago # -
i meant i'm not dating like regular shidduch dating. how do you take out a random girl that you never said a word to in your life? what do you do if she's ugly? or stupid? or really annoying? man, i would never handle.
Posted 6 years ago # -
you do what Dr. Pepper advises, I guess...
Posted 6 years ago # -
moish01-
In a perfect world, yes it would be easier to just say no. But the world isn't perfect and the shidduch world is as far from perfect as it gets.Take a less extreme case for example-
Shadchan gives me the name- I look into it and not interested. Shadchan puts pressure on me to go out by having the references call to tell me what I'm missing out on, ask my rebbe to speak with me and lots of other stuff.I finally gave in under pressure and go out with her. In my opinion the information I got in my research is correct and on top of that her looks are very unappealing. If I say no after the first date I'll get bombarded with calls that I didn't give it a fair chance or that I made up my mind from before. I also run the risk of her thinking that I found her looks unappealing.
Instead I go out, act like a kind gentleman, pretend like I have no personality and speak in a monotone. This way she'll say no and save me from all those problems.
Right?
Posted 6 years ago # -
doc, is that what they do? force you to go out? sounds torturous.
Posted 6 years ago # -
I wouldn't quite say "force", I didn't have a gun at my head, but the easiest way to end the harassment is to just go out with her. And yes it is cruel and unusual torture and should be banned according to the constitution.
Posted 6 years ago # -
i gotta agree with moish. sounds pretty bad to me.
Posted 6 years ago # -
Maybe doc had double pressure cuz he was the one IN shidduchim, while also taking care of the whole shidduchim matziv (dealing with shadchans, doing research etc.). So for him it's just easier to give in & get it over with. However, in my circles the parents handle the shadchans & research, so it's half the pressure for the child in the parsha. This way you’re not dating endlessly (there’s a lot of screening done) and the ones you are dating at least make sense (most of the time anyway).
It's very difficult managing both ends.Posted 6 years ago # -
kapusta: no, i thought i mentioned this before - i'm the oldest.
Posted 6 years ago # -
AOB, really? never knew that. ok, maybe I did, I just forgot.
anyway, its not that bad, usually the boy/ boys mother sees a picture (grad) of the girl before they go out. And the boy meets her parents when they go out. References will tell you if shes basically pretty, intelligent, etc, and people will probably set you up with someone who has something in common. If you were valedictorian of your class, they probably wont set you up with a guy who was in a special ed class.
Posted 6 years ago # -
kapusta: i was talking more about the actual date being awkward.
anyway, what people say doesn't sound very accurate. i mean, people judge weirdly - they probably would say the person's more intelligent if that person was in the high track, top of the class, whatever. i know plenty of people who know lots of stuff and think for themselves, but they're not considered the best in school because they aren't especially good at say, writing a paper or memorizing a lot of stuff in limited time. & the opposite too - people who are "so smart" & get good grades but don't think for themselves, they just follow the crowd. but they can memorize all the information for a test, so they succeed in school. (maybe this should be in the thread about the schools being messed up, hmm?) so how much does that help you find out who the person is?Posted 6 years ago # -
squeak-
What about turning on the seat warmer for the passenger seat? Once we're trying to be cruel anyway....
or we can be cruel right back and "accidently kick your rented car with our 6 inch heels",
Posted 6 years ago # -
Thanks ames it's really good to be back we girls have to stick together!
Posted 6 years ago # -
I heard this story
A girl was in shul and a woman was trying to suggest some young men to her. then she said, "Oh how about that one over there- he seems like a nice young man."
my sister turned to the woman and said "if you mean the one standing next to my father, it's my brother."
-This boy was dating a girl and it was on the night of the 1st date and he called her from his cell to say that he was waiting in the car outside her house(this goes back a number of years), so she went out and there was a guy standing there, so she was like, hi.. and he goes, Tzedaka! Maaser and stuck his hand out.. so she got really confused and then realised that he was a meshulach.. so she went outside onto the sidewalk but noone was there (basically the guy she was meant to date had gotten the wrong house!!) so then she started thinking, maybe he was my date! and she got all paranoid and thought, maybe he was testing me to see if i wld give $ to a poor person... LOL
neway, the real date showed up a few minutes later and basically, she explained to him, how she had nearly gone out on a date with a meshulach!!!!Posted 6 years ago # -
I agreed to go out with a biology major who lived a few hours away. She offered to drive in since I lived near a fried of hers who she hadn't seen in a long time.
After picking her up I asked how her drive was and she responded that she had no traffic but she had to make two stops.
I said that when I drive out there I try to skip the stops.
"But don't you get thirsty?" she asked.
"Well last time I just took three cans of Pepsi with me", I responded.She looks me up and down and says, "It's not possible for someone your size to drink 3 cans of Pepsi in a 5 hour period and not make any stops!".
I explained that I never said I drank all three, I brought them just in case.
"Oh, well in that case it is possible."It didn't work- she was too smart for me.
(Well actually she ended it, she said I wasn't smart enough for her. Nice person though. Still can't figure out if it was a joke or not.)Posted 6 years ago # -
BasYisroel2 - you would get nothing more and nothing less than a big huge smile out of me. Your approval rating just soared.
Posted 6 years ago # -
Dr. Pepper,
3 cans of Pepsi, but you didn't mention about any cans of Dr. Pepper. ;Posted 6 years ago #
Reply »
You must log in to post.
RSS