High School Crisis

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  • #588922
    yros
    Member

    Why has it become the style for yeshiva bochurim not to go to high school (especially in Lakewood)??

    I think that this is outright wrong. people need an education for life. Not everybody will sit and learn forever.

    What’s the CR’s take on the matter?

    #643268
    noitallmr
    Participant

    I think it’s very important to have an education no matter how Frum you are. A person has to know what’s going on in the world and many subjects will help you eventually. For example you’ll need maths for a few Mesechtos like Succah and Science will triple your Emunah and awe of Hashem’s creations.

    Yes- it’s definitely very important and it’s a great shame not to go to a high school.

    #643269
    yros
    Member

    noitallmr, you added on some very important points. i would have never opened a biology book if not for high school.

    thanx

    #643270
    shindy
    Member

    To each his own. But don’t start sending me letters when you want to marry off your kids!

    #643271
    modernduck
    Member

    I disagree. If they really need an education they can go to courses like cope given by The Agudah

    #643272
    yros
    Member

    what do you mean, shindy!!!??

    since when is it hard to get married if you got an eduction??

    i never heard of such a thing?

    #643274
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    high school is important!!! i never head abt in places like lakewod that boys dont go o high school!!! that’s bizzare!!!!

    #643275
    thereject18
    Member

    i agree with you 100% asdfghjkl

    #643277
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    thereject18

    welcome to the cr!!! you’re only been a member for 15min!!!

    #643278
    oomis
    Participant

    That’s funny – I got the opposite impression from Shindy. That she was saying, well if they don’t want to go to school, that’s their business, but don’t bother coming to HER when it’s time to marry those kids off.

    #643279

    and then he got blocked!!!!!!!!

    #643280
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    yeah are people getting blocked under their screen name instead of member!!!

    seems like a night for new members!!! welcome ya all!!!! join the fun!!!

    #643281

    it says on another thread-that if u make yourself a bunch of names there going to block some of your screen names

    #643283
    eesymb
    Member

    It seems to me that the reason that you would send your children to high school is that they would become an educated self sufficient and contributing part of our society, and not just a drain on our social services ( welfare, food stamps, medicaid).

    How can you expect them to do anything in today’s world without even a minimal education? We have an obligation to educate our children, a chiyuv to do so, and those who don’t, are failing therir children miserably and destining them to a life of poverty unnecessarily. Their shidduchim have nothing to do with that. Don’t worry so much about what your neighbors are thinking! TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN INSTEAD.

    #643285
    shindy
    Member

    Yes oomis1105-

    That is exactly what I mean. If a family or child decides that getting a secular education is not for them, then that child grows up, marries, has ten or eleven children and then guess what, it is time to marry them off and he has all these debts. Then they have to go door to door collecting. Why anyone would want to chose to be in such a position is beyond me. A Rov from Israel that learns in the Meir told my husband he has never before seen so many people coming to the Meir asking for Tzaddakah. The situation for people in learning is horrible. We just gave $500 to a friend of ours who is collecting for a Talmid Chochum who has a child to marry off in terrible situation, but that is just a drop in the bucket for these people whose need is so great. And the yidden in America have lost their jobs and have their own financial crisis.

    I thought it is a mitzvah to teach your son a trade, just like you are supposed to teach him how to swim. It is not fair to teach them how to be a shnorer. I am only hoping I should never be in that position!

    #643286
    tzippi
    Member

    This is a serious issue. Believe it or not, I think it is possible to make a reasoned decision to let a child drop English after a certain point (though a GED would be lechatchila in this bedieved), provided the kid knows that if his future is predicated on a rich shver, he has to evaluate things. There are parnasah options for kids who want to remain in the daled amos of the beis medrash, whether safrus, milah, shechita, hashgacha and more. Parents have to really know their children and have partners they can work with within the yeshivos.

    #643287
    shindy
    Member

    Look what is happening to the lakewood yeshivos. They have no money to pay their teachers. Is this a direct result of most of the parent body not having money to pay full tuition? By not getting an education this will perpetuate this scene over and over again.

    They are ossuring the internet, but they will take money from my husband who makes his money by yes, using the internet.

    #643288
    shindy
    Member

    “There are parnasah options for kids who want to remain in the daled amos of the beis medrash, whether safrus, milah, shechita, hashgacha and more.”

    Tzippy, do you honestly think that this is a parnosah option for people who have 12 children? I am constantly flooded with calls and mailings from these very people. They do not have jobs that give them much health insurance so if they have one kid with health problems they are wiped out. These are very meager paying jobs, okay if you do hashgocha for a major kashrus organization but how many people want to travel constantly to hong kong and india etc. I guess shechita they can make a living we always need meat and chicken but how many shochets do we need already.

    #643289
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    never mind the kid’s future. even if his parents are zillionaires and he’s gonna be able to learn for the rest of his life (not that anything is guaranteed but even IF) – it won’t kill anyone to be a little knowledgeable!

    i think it’s a laziness. yeshiva guys take advantage and attribute it to “frum”

    #643290
    Esther1
    Member

    Brooklyn- I’m not saying that I’m pro no-ed. However, I wouldn’t attribute it to laziness. I don’t believe that most eighth graders make their own decision where they’re going for high school. They may be included in the decision that is made by the parents. I’m not sure that I’m being clear. What I mean to say is that parents might say to a child- this is what kind of school we decided you are going to, do you have a preference of School A or School B, both of which fall into the same category.

    #643291
    shindy
    Member

    I don’t agree with you brooklyn19, they aren’t lazy. They really want to stay in learning (who wouldn’t want to?) My hubby wanted to stay in learning but guess what, nobody was going to support us so he went to work.

    #643292
    Bais Yaakov maydel
    Participant

    i dont know about kids not going to school but i know for a fact that many yeshivas in lakewood dont have any english/secular curriculum.

    #643293
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    not all kids. there are a few that are really sincere. and yes, plenty of kids are really learning during that time. but i think it’s become cool to skip english. especially when there are 5 geniuses who get in the high 90s on their regents without opening a book.

    #643294

    I don’t remember who said it, but I heard that a Rav (and a prominent one at that), said, that if kids who are in a yeshiva where secular studies are part of the curriculum, it is bittul zman not to try your utmost.

    that being said, not studying secular subjects as well is ridiculous. I am in 12th grade, and realize that it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to support my family. The Ketuba says it is my responsibility, not my father-in-law’s … to mooch off of him would, in my eyes, be disgusting

    #643295
    yros
    Member

    If kids misbehave that is bitul zman

    #643296
    shindy
    Member

    TOHIGHSCHOOLGUY-

    Good for you! IY”H you will make a good husband one day. may there be more like you

    #643297

    thank you … amen

    #643298
    Esther1
    Member

    Shindy- I can tell that you’re a good mother.

    #643299
    postsemgirl
    Member

    Sending yeshivish boys to high school would be a waste of time. I work in an elementary school for boys and it is a waste of time. The kids see it as a time to act out and have fun. There is no point.

    #643300
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    postsem – there’s where you’re wrong. we gotta change their attitude, not the curriculum.

    #643301
    postsemgirl
    Member

    brookly19-

    I don’t think it is possible to change the attitude if in 5th grade already they think of English as a time to have fun. Any Ideas

    #643302
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    yeah.

    1. get the parents to at least pretend they care
    2. get decent teachers
    3. capital punishment! lol

    but seriously, if the whole feeling they get from everyone – including their parents, teachers, and principals was not so flippant, maybe there would be something to work with.

    #643303
    postsemgirl
    Member

    sorry i missed a n in your name.

    #643304
    postsemgirl
    Member

    I don’t know. I don’t see what the big deal is if a boy starts learning all day when he gets to high school. Why should he care about slopes and ancient civilizations and clauses and phrases?

    #643305
    yros
    Member

    postemgirl: your right but still there should be strict english. It is not right

    #643306
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    he’ll grow to be a burden on society! i’m very into learning and kollel and the works. but you need to be a capable, somewhat knowledgeable person to be able to live in the world. even gedolim in america are not blank when it comes to the outside world. i’m not saying they have to study sociology. but basic history and english is vital.

    #643307
    oomis
    Participant

    Schoolboys will take school seriously when they see that their PARENTS do. A secular education is not only necessary, it is crucial. What a generation of illiterates we will be raising if they do not understand the importance of being able to properly read, write, do math and understand something about the world! The problem is that many parents are not on the same page as the schools, and they are not supportive of the secular studies departments.

    #643308
    postsemgirl
    Member

    I think an elementary school education is ok. it makes the chillul Hashem in the schools less that is for sure

    #643309
    intellegent
    Member

    This is unrelated to the topic but TOHIGHSCHOOLGUY’s mention of the “ketuba” made me write this.

    I am curious why some people pronounce all Tav’s with the hard sound “t” and never use the “s” sound. As far as I remember Tav is pronounced /t/ when there is a Dagesh Kal in it and pronounced /s/ when there is not. It’s possible that I’m wrong but I think that there is no Dagesh in the word kesuba.

    Can someone explain this to me? Do you use these pronunciations in Davening as well?

    #643310
    intellegent
    Member

    “It’s possible that I’m wrong but I think that there is no Dagesh in the word kesuba.”

    I meant that there is no Dagesh Kal in the Tav of the word Kesuba.

    #643311
    tzippi
    Member

    Shindy, I mentioned those parnasa options because I think they are reasonable hishtadlus. But you have a point, but then is the only logical conclusion that our kids only become professionals?

    #643312
    shindy
    Member

    The logical conclusion is that our kids have to know that mommy and daddy are not going to be able to support them forever, so if they chose to have professions that earn little money (and no health insurance)be prepared to live in poverty. My parents raised us that if we were old enough to get married, we are old enough to be independant financially. My husband wanted to learn, great, we lived in a mouse infested basement with used furniture, I worked so he could learn, and we were not supported by ANYBODY. Where do we see kids like that nowadays? I’m not saying the kids should be doctors and lawyers but they need an education to make a parnosah, not to spend their days asking for tzaddakah and their nights worrying.

    Even people who are professionals are having a hard time now. But I think the people in learning are in a worse matzav, and I don’t want that for my kids or grandchildren. It is horrible to live in poverty, to need hand outs, to go to others and ask for money.

    #643313
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Mrs Tzippi:

    Don’t they say what makes a nice jewish LAD is if he’s a Lawyer, Accountant, Doctor?

    #643314
    Josh31
    Participant

    Even for those going into learning on the track to become future Torah leaders, having at least the standard level of math and language skills is essential. Chazal (Torah leaders of about 1500 – 2000 years ago) speak severely about a Talmid Chacham (Torah scholar) whose manner of dress is substandard. Illiteracy is the modern equivalent of substandard dress. Having Torah scholars lacking a High School education will bring down the level of honor for Torah and its scholars.

    #643315
    intellegent
    Member

    can anyone answer my question that I asked before?

    Why do some people pronounce all Tav’s with the hard sound “t” and never use the “s” sound. As far as I remember Tav is pronounced /t/ when there is a Dagesh Kal in it and pronounced /s/ when there is not. It’s possible that I’m wrong but I think that there is no Dagesh in the Tav in the words kesuba, Shabbos, Mitzvosai (AKA Ketuba, Shabbat, Mitzvotai) just some words I came across recently. Anyone?

    #643316
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    sephardim and dati leumi :}

    #643317
    myshadow
    Member

    no clue intellegent, start a new thread you’ll probably get your answer

    #643318
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Actually, there are many subjects that are really important for talmidei chachamim to understand in order to delve deeply into the gemara. Math skills are important, basic anatomy….even astronomy!

    Aside from that, some of these subjects are needed for basic life skills (going to the grocery store and knowing your bill is approximately right)…

    #643319
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Intellegent, I thought it was a regional type thing. Remember the sibolet/shibolet thing in Tanach? (I forgot where it is exactly)One side used that word as a password because the others said it differently. [OK, I realize this is barely information, maybe someone else can point you to the source?]

    #643320
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    yeah when they were trying to stop either shevet efrayim or menashe – i’m not remembering – from crossing the yarden they made them say a sentence and depending on how they pronounced it, they knew which shevet they were from. ouch my tanach is rusty.

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