I am very upset at the mods

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  • #618123

    Basically every comment I post is taken down I don’t use curse words or speak inappropriate stuff so whyyyyyy are u deleting my comments. And don’t delete this I want a good answer

    #1166668

    absan
    Participant

    I could hear you are very upset about your comment being deleted..now calm down cause…

    if your comment was being deleted then….

    your comment was printed….

    and if your comment was printed then….

    people read it…..

    and if people read it then…

    your message got through….

    so if your message got through then….

    WHY ARE YOU UPSET??????……

    just written to chear you up a little…

    #1166670

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    How do you know it’s taken down? How much later do you check?

    #1166671

    theprof1
    Participant

    SAD, ITS HAPPENED TO ME MANY TIMES. IF THEY TAKE PERSONAL, THEY DELETE IT.

    I’m sorry you feel that way. It isn’t about taking it personally, it is about following rules, being respectful, being appropriate and being on an online forum.

    #1166672

    I feel for you and welcome you to the corrupt world-especially in the media business-even if you wrote something true and nice but if the Media-rather YWN or any website or newspaper for that matter-doesn’t like it according to their level they won’t post it.

    Ashamed to be living in such a corrupt world. It would be a bracha to be removed from such a world and be brought to the TRUE world above. No matter how young I might be.

    #1166673

    Omg moshiach agent don’t talk like that I still Want u here….And you can’t do mitzvos up there

    #1166674

    And at least if u take something down tell me why so I know for next time

    #1166675

    Sparkly
    Member

    Mashiach Agent – please DONT commit suicide.

    Sadgirlygirl – i agree because a bunch of my posts were taken down and dont know why.

    #1166676

    If this is an emergency, call 911. If you are in crisis or suicidal and need someone to talk to call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.

    #1166677

    Suicide is a sin. Dying al kiddush Hashem like we said in kinnus today like rebbe Akiva is one of the biggest Mitzvah a person can do today. It equals more than all 3 aveiros chamuros that we all need to give up our lives for

    #1166678

    Sparkly
    Member

    Mashiach Agent – good point. so dont do it.

    #1166679

    LET YWN be the role model for honesty for all the media by starting to post everyone post they send as long as it’s true and not screaming curses

    #1166680

    And if it’s insulting, hateful, provacative, Lashon Hora? I think the hunger might be getting to you…..

    #1166681

    what’s wrong with screaming curses, I think people should only says curses

    #1166682

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Posts must resemble English according to the rules.

    #1166683

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    29,

    In MA’s defense there are things other people might think as hurtful that you might not

    How did all the posts regarding people that left (shout out to ayc)

    #1166684

    But that was my point. He wants everything to go through and considers it dishonest and manipulative to do otherwise.

    I don’t understand your last sentence.

    #1166685

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Ayc left due to hurtful posts

    #1166686

    Sparkly
    Member

    coffee addict – yes some people can be very hurtful. like telling someone they cant write.

    #1166687

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Was that directed towards me (did I say you can’t write?)

    #1166688

    guess if its the truth but its trying to help someone solve a issue-i.e. insulting- it shouldnt be posted?

    the poster is trying to help him solve a issue he has & %80 of solving a issue is admitting to the problem a person has & then he only has %20 to finish solving the issue.

    if a patient of mine comes to see me but i can’t help him cause its too insulting then i have big issues in my Psychology practice. any patient is willing to listen if it can remove the problem causing lots of stress & depression etc… from him

    #1166689

    Sparkly
    Member

    coffee addict – no i was saying that i agree with you some people can be very hurtful and was referring to abba who said i cant write.

    #1166690

    absan
    Participant

    sadygirlygirl…are you part of ywn staff?

    #1166691

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Oh, I remembered someone said that and couldn’t remember where

    And I thought I might have said it

    #1166692

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    MA,

    You said it yourself

    “If a patient of mine comes to see me”

    They’re your patient, they’re asking you to give them advice

    Unsolicited advice is rude even if you’re trying to help them

    #1166693

    When people put up coffeeroom letters usually they are asking for help or advice on different various topics. Which means they WANT anyone who might or can help them with their question or problem/situation

    #1166694

    -Absan no I’m not part of the staff here at ywn but if I was things would be a bit different. On a sidenote I do appreciate the mods here really I do. But I think the lines have been blurred between what they think is inappropriate..like sometimes something is okay and sometimes it’s not.

    Mashiach agent are u a psychologist? Because imyh I’m going into that field and i wanna know whether you have any advice

    #1166695

    Sparkly
    Member

    absan – I dont think sadygirlygirl is part of the ywn staff otherwise shed be a moderator.

    #1166696

    Sady

    Yes I am a psychologist

    Top advice I can give you before going into it is:

    You need to feel like each patients issue is your own issue and needs to be solved ASAP although lots of patients will need therapy and many appointments not just 1

    If you have in your heart to help solve people issues so they can have a happy and healthy life then I wish you lots of Hatzlacha

    #1166697

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    MA

    Not exactly, a lot of times people just want to vent and be poo pooed (especially women, but men get that too)

    The hard part is getting out of being a man and trying to fix things

    #1166698

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent, Halachically, there is a very big difference between something said privately by one person to another person, and something said in a (VERY) public forum. When it comes to hilchos Lashon Hara, if someone is speaking to you privately because he wants help with a situation, most or all of the time you should let him speak so that you can help him. This is true even if you are not a practicing psychologist, and kal v’chomer, if you are.

    When it comes to a public forum where everything that is written can be read by EVERYONE in the world FOREVER, you have to be exceedingly careful about hilchos Lashon Hara!!! Toeles is not generally relevant here- if someone needs to say something that is ordinarily LH for the same of toeles, it can not be done here. They must find a PERSON (as in a SINGLE person -not a group- and as in a real person whom you know something about). There are halachos regarding the type of person it must be:

    1. It has to be a single person.

    2.It has to be someone objective who will not be “mekabel” (accept) what you are saying as fact.

    3.It has to be someone whom speaking to will be helpful.

    4.It has to be someone who will not add to your LH, but instead help you to feel better about the person or group in question, and not lead you to have more hatred or negative feelings towards them.

    These conditions can almost never apply in a VERY public forum.

    Also, it is important to remember that all Jews have a portion in Olam Haba, no matter how bad they are, with a few exceptions. One exception is a BAAL LOSHON HARA! Until the advent of Internet, few people fell in the category of Baalei Loshon Hara. Unfortunately, with the advent of the internet, it has become exceedingly easy to be a baal loshon hara!! With one inappropriate sentence recorded online forever for the ENTIRE world to hear, one can easily become a baal loshon hara and be in danger of losing his Portion in the World-to-Come forever!!!!

    Olam Haba is guaranteed to all of us!!! Why would anyone want to lose it??

    As for the moderators, it is THEIR responsibility to make sure that no Loshon Hara is posted, since it is their site!! They can not be too careful!!! All of our Olam Habas are at stake!! Not to mention that we don’t want to push off Mashiach anymore!!!

    #1166699

    Lilmod

    thanks for all your information & Halachos but 1 IMPORTANT point you forgot about posting in blogs

    WE ALL REMAIN ANONYMOUS

    nobody knows who you or i REALLY are do you know my real name & where i am from? neither do i know your info. SO ALL NAMES & BLOGS are fake names with someone from the other side of the world that has a question made into a blog

    question for you

    how can i say lashon hara on a blogger when NO ONE IN THE WORLD besides him/herself knows who s/he is? please let everyone in the coffeeroom know

    Thank you

    #1166700

    Abba_S
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent So are you or were you thinking of committing suicide. Because I think you should get a second opinion.

    In fact maybe you should sleep on it. You know tomorrow is another day and maybe Mashiach will come and you can ask him.

    Moderator-If someone threatens to commit suicide on YWN’s coffee room. Does YWN have a responsibility to notify Hatazolah and or other authorities? YWN has the ISPN and can track down the person’s name and address and hopefully help them before it is too late.

    #1166701

    Abba_S
    Participant

    Coffe addict- I thought being a man is fixing your own problems

    #1166702

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent – good question. I was referring to posts that malign Am Yisrael or the Frum World as a whole or groups within Am Yisrael. I have seen many posts that are guilty of one of the above and did make it past the moderators. I also know of times when such things were posted and then deleted by the moderators, so that is what I was referring to.

    #1166703

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent – another point: This is not what I had in mind, but it is also extremely important. Sometimes people write things that are insulting to other Coffee Room members (and un-called for). That is a problem even if no one knows anyone else’s identity, since the person can still feel very hurt.

    #1166704

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Sadgirlygirl: It happens to me all the time

    I wondered if it was because I posted citations and references, and in some cases I added links to the sources. Do they want me to plagiarize? Or should I just say that I heard such and such rabbi say? So as I wondered, I continued to post and some messages went through. I did not figure out the science, but I realized there is an ever acculturation to this forum business.

    And the truth is, generally it [probably] is not personal [unless you and the mod go back to grade school when you refused to share the swing set every day after school and the mod promised to get back at you someday and lo and behold!].

    If it is not personal, it could be that…

    A mod is cleaning out a billion posts about Elmo and then yours comes up when they just sneezed and it’s iffy so whatever “delete” and they went to get a tissue.

    Point is: You are not alone.

    Empathy here: It is a bummer to spend all this time contributing only to have someone wipe it out. Who knows if this one will go through (please please please please bavakasha let it post for real and eternally with Hashem’s help).

    It def feels good when your efforts flow without levers and such.

    So yay, it’s all going to be okay, and even better.

    Thank you 🙂

    #1166705

    There are many posters who know other posters.

    #1166706

    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – that is true. like saying “you dont know how to write” because its a general thing and it doesnt matter who said it it was said.

    yw moderator – i dont think i know any of the other ones because i asked people about it and they all said they dont post.

    #1166707

    I have no reason to be insulted in real life when someone writes back to my username Mashiach agent about something I wrote. I.e. he didn’t write back to me personally HE WROTE TO MY ACTORS NAME.

    If you get insulted on a blog where it doesn’t come to your real life and the person doesn’t even know you. You should seek help. This is just a chat.

    on FB chat the person knows you and it can be embarrassing what he writes about you.

    #1166708

    Sparkly
    Member

    Mashiach Agent – i dont have facebook, dont have time, but i might get it when i get married h’h because of my husband will probably have it. do they have blogs on facebook?

    #1166709

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Mashiach Agent – You are you even if you use a fake name, and it makes just as much sense to be insulted as it does when using your real name. For that matter, if s.o. is on a high enough level, he won’t be insulted in “real life” either since even in real life “all the world is a stage and we are all poor actors.” (or s/t like that – I’m not sure I got the quote just right). However, we are human and have feeling and it is normal and healthy to feel insulted when s.o. insults you, and that is why we have halachos guarding people’s feelings.

    If you can’t understand that, I think that you need help, and I think you should stop working as a psychologist because I am very worried about your clients.

    Even if you can’t understand why someone would be hurt, the fact is that they are, so don’t do something that hurts them!!!

    #1166710

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    MA,

    You can’t think that other people are different, it might not bother you but it might bother them (just because they aren’t you doesn’t mean they need psychiatric help)

    People get bothered when other people insult them, whether it’s in the real world or cyber world

    I know someone on this forum who gets upset that his posts don’t go through

    Everybody gets upset for different things

    #1166711

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    For the record I was referring to you MA

    #1166712

    I dont either know anyone on this group but……kay I have a confession….I wish I knew sparkly *blushes deeply*

    #1166713

    Sparkly
    Member

    Sadgirlygirl – thats cute lol. why do you wish you knew me? i barely know like anyone unfortunately since im always at college which isnt jewish and i try not making friends with non jews but sometimes i do.

    lilmod ulelamaid – good point.

    coffee addict – that is true.

    #1166714

    coffee

    i have a surprise for you.

    it doesnt bother me at all the fact that you know something about me in the coffeeroom thats the fake me & not the personal me so it doesnt bring upon me even %1 embarrassment & it shouldnt bother you either IN REAL LIFE WHEN YOU GO AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER (to work or anywhere for that matter)

    #1166715

    sparkly

    i suggest you NEVER get Facebook, i only have it for business & its the worse thing you can have when it comes to Marriage. it has caused thousands if not millions of divorces & intermarriages.

    save yourself from this ever happening C”V

    #1166716

    Sparkly cause u sound cute and nice and smart very simple ingredients #friendshipgoals

    They should have an option to give out numbers

    #1166717

    Sparkly
    Member

    Mashiach Agent – im probably gonna get it if my husband has it which he probably will. also i may even share the same facebook account as him and just make it as a couple facebook ive heard people do this.

    sadgirlygirl – thank you. i feel that way about myself (but shouldnt say that because that makes me sound like a snob). the mods can give you my email. please allow them to know this as well.

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