Why don't we just stick girls in the freezer?
That would solve MANYY crises!
If we don't start setting the girls up until 21, 22 then:
a) it clears the room for the older unmarried
they are able to be set up with the 22 23 year old guys with out the compilation from the 19 year olds!
B) it would not be the end of the olam if the girls arent married by 23 24!
C) thereby resolving the older single crisis
D) along with girls would not return home from seminary crying they arent married!
and Ifff a bashert JUSTT happens to fall into place by hashem - NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
just a idea
:)
YWN Coffee Room » Shidduchim
Idea!!
(19 posts)-
Posted 6 months ago #
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I think there's a Gemarah somewhere to that effect:
..וצינן את הנקבה..Source anyone?
Posted 6 months ago # -
No one?
Posted 6 months ago # -
I believe it's in the end of the third Perek in Chullin, but I could very easily be very wrong.
Posted 6 months ago # -
Any other suggestions??
Posted 6 months ago # -
I've been saying this all along. Girls should start dating older.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/shidduch-crisis-solution
Posted 6 months ago # -
Source is beginning of the fifth perek in Bava Basra, by the Leviyasan Gemorahs.
Posted 6 months ago # -
GAW: That could be. There's also a Livyasan Gemara at the end of Eilu Treifos, if I recall correctly. (Or maybe there's no Gemara there but it's referenced and the Artscroll footnote gave the whole story? I don't remember.)
Posted 6 months ago # -
I agree. There is no reason for a girl to get married before 20-21.
They just finished a really tough school cycle. (Much harder than their male counterpart, I might add)
Let the enjoy freedom a little, before getting tied down by a family.
Posted 6 months ago # -
The problem with that approach is that females have a very alpha attitude especially in our community where family size is something to envy. So you would not be able to hold back that kind of force of nature.
If you told girls that they werent going to be put into the shidduch system until age 21 or 22 you would have 3 Groups.
Group 1 - they would abide by the rules and find something constructive to do with their time (I.E. go to school, work, etc)
Group 2 - would abide by the rules publicly but have their parents/friends working behind the scenes to get them married off so they can have a "head start" on their friends
Group 3 - People who view the rule as an invalid solution and do not consider it binding.
So there you have it, the rule would not have a lasting or widespread effect and to the contrary might make things worse.
Posted 6 months ago # -
interesting idea. However you need to look at the bigger picture. If we keep the girls in the freezer, than that mean we will have hundreds of 19-22 girls back from seminary doing what? if there not focusing on shidduchim are we ready to just place these girls in the workplace? college (chv's)? they need to be doing something. You might have a lot bigger crisis if you make shidduchim off limits
Posted 6 months ago # -
even if this is a good idea, it is very hard to do.
since the Girls dont go to BMG or any yeshiva, its each Girl on her own.
Posted 6 months ago # -
@olderwiser,
Yes exactly! We want to put them in the workplace or in school to learn something that will make them money.
Last I checked, there was no shortage of teachers in the religious schools.
The point that you made about how "if they arent occupied with shidduchim, you will cause a bigger crisis" is ridiculous and should be rejected on it's face.
I was always taught that the process of shiduchim and dating is supposed to be about finding yourself as much as finding someone else to build a family with. And here you are just talking about it like its something to keep girls occupied for a couple of years before they become wives and mothers.
I can kind of see a point where a few girls might embrace that free time for pursuits that might be counter productive but I think that the positives far outweigh any negative outcome. (From a numbers standpoint as yes I know for even "one girl to go OTD" is terrible)
Posted 6 months ago # -
This idea is as good as saying, "Is the steam on too high for you? Oh, so turn on the air conditioner."
Posted 6 months ago # -
olderwiser:
if there not focusing on shidduchim are we ready to just place these girls in the workplace? college (chv's)?
I know quite a number of girls who are doing exactly that... And nobody had a problem with it (last time I checked).
Posted 6 months ago # -
HaLeiVi: Do you know that people ACTUALLY do that? It drives me right up the wall and through the roof.
(Yeah, so this is really irrelevant...:P)
Posted 6 months ago # -
great idea, whatelseisleft
Posted 6 months ago # -
It drives me right up the wall and through the roof. -- and through the vents.
I once heard of someone who did this, too. He got free electric because he worked for the company. He should have used a humidifier, too. Those things really dry out the air.
Posted 6 months ago # -
and through the vents.
XDSeriously, though, it's mamish the stupidest thing ever...regardless of the cost.
Posted 6 months ago #
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