InShidduchim.com: Is That the Jewish Way?

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  • #608135

    recipes
    Member

    My daughter is going out and she just recently started Spending a lot of time on this new website. I’m not sure if its healthy…shouldn’t girls be confiding in their parents as opposed to taking Advice and chizuk from random ppl online?

    #1216384

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    No, random people online are many people, so some of them will have good advice. You only have 2 parents, so the chances are pretty high that both of them will have bad advice.

    For example, I once met a parent who wanted to know if it was normal to get advice from random people on the internet. So he asked some random people on the internet for advice about that. Is that the type of parent who you think should be giving advice?

    #1216385

    Yserbius123
    Participant

    Did she just start going out? Then bad bad bad bad bad idea. Has she been going out for 3+ years? Then maybe.

    #1216386

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I have never visited this website. I cannot stand shidduch agony fests.

    #1216387

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I have never visited this website. I cannot stand shidduch agony fests.

    How would you know that’s what it is, if you haven’t visited.

    #1216388

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    umm so why are random ppl on the internet givng U advice? and nah she prob shudnt do it but its better than from her frends which cud be disasterous.. imagine someonoe beng like ohh him?? noou x go out w HIM!! she cud mean well and this girl will never agree to go out w him no matter wat amazing info her parents find out..

    #1216389

    recipes
    Member

    Excuse me everyone. I think there is a big difference between decisions that could affect your whole life……

    #1216390

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    PBA: Now that I’ve given it fair play, I’m scared of saying LH. Check out the forum titles…

    #1216391

    147
    Participant

    It is absolutely the Jewish way to meet a Shidduch thru a Jewish dating site.

    As far as using it in lieu of a mentor, get yourself a live mentor, even if you end communicating with this life mentor over e-mail or telephone, and even if this mentor who knows you is in Israel and your in the USA, or vice versa. But the mentor has to be familiar with your situation and circumstances, and be someone whom as soon as s/he hears from you, will immediately know where you left off last time you touched base, and needs no recapping each time you touch base.

    #1216392

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    147: It isn’t a dating site.

    #1216393

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    147: Yes, my bubby met my zaidy on a jewish dating website.

    Were you being serious?

    #1216394

    WIY
    Member

    Popa

    Go join and troll them lol

    #1216395

    Bar Shattya
    Member

    Excuse me everyone. I think there is a big difference between decisions that could affect your whole life……or your child’s life.

    Children are a dime a dozen. And to quote Bill Cosby “I’ll kill you son, I can make another one that looks just like you.

    #1216396

    WIY
    Member

    TORAH

    Your grandmother met a husband on a dating site? That’s progressive for a woman that age. I’m assuming shes at least in her low to mid 60s. Very cool!

    #1216397

    avhaben
    Member

    WIY: Read that again. Her bubby met her zaidy on a dating site.

    It was the pre-historic version of frumster.

    #1216398

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    WIY: I was joking. One set of my grandparents met in the subway (or whatever the equivalent was) and the other set met in an immigration office. 🙂 So no internet dating.

    147, I look forward to your explanation of that statement.

    #1216399

    WIY
    Member

    Torah

    Ah the good old days bsc (before shidduch crisis)

    #1216400

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    i think the whole systems insane… between the pressure 2 go to bjj and then sara schenirer (where i wud never in my life go to!!).. in the olden days it was soo much more simpler.. they had like 3 dates in the olden days, now we have anywhere bet 8-15!! talk abt suspense!!

    #1216401

    I feel like we need to have more dates these days because things are a lot more complicated when it comes to shidduch dating, especially with things like the economic crisis, more genetic diseases (or at least, there is better testing), there are more seminaries these days than before, so there are enough seminaries to match a girl’s specific hashkafa (most of the time…) and stuff like that. Plus the non-Jewish media and society can have quite a bit of influence over us as well.

    #1216402

    rebdoniel
    Member

    As a sociological exercise, I checked that website and found out why there are so many people not getting married.

    For starters, one post said that a guy who wants to become a kiruv professional is dangerous, that the desire to do kiruv is a warning sign, that such a guy has extreme behavior, wants to leave klal yisrael, etc. (To boot, they say that Shalom Task Force says this- I thought they dealt with domestic violence. Since when is kiruv in the same category as wife-beating?) This is a sad, venomous post against kiruv rabbis. I know many, and they’re the most beautiful, heilige neshomas and kindest souls I’ve ever met. They turn nobody away, open their homes to all who seek nourishment, physical and spiritual, and bring HaShem’s Love and Torah to a world in need of it. One of my dreams in life would be to take a few years out and learn in Aish haTorah and get a Jewish Studies degree and to do kiruv on the university circuit.

    Another excoriates guys that never learned in Israel. There are tons of good yeshivot in America. How is not learning in E”Y a pagum against a guy?

    Another slams a guy who watches the SuperBowl; I went to a SuperBowl party at an Orthodox shul (the proceeds went to tzedakah) and we participated in the HalfTime program from YU.

    It seems that conformity and a lack of balance are popular. Makes me glad I chose to become part of the MO community while adhering to a higher standard of halakhic practice and availing myself of yeshivish learning.

    #1216403

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Am I the only one rolling from laughter about someone asking advice anonymously on a web site about whether one should seek advice anonymously on a web site?

    Worthy of pba.

    #1216405

    gefen
    Participant

    Nishdtayngesheft: My thoughts exactly!!! +1,000,000,000

    #1216406

    yitayningwut
    Participant

    For example, I once met a parent who wanted to know if it was normal to get advice from random people on the internet. So he asked some random people on the internet for advice about that. Is that the type of parent who you think should be giving advice?

    Brilliant 😀

    #1216407

    golfer
    Participant

    Nishtdayng, I hate when I ask a question and nobody gives me a clear answer.

    So I will answer yours.

    No.

    #1216408

    147
    Participant

    poppa_bar_abba & torah613613torah:- Sites like Frumster now renamed JWed and Orthodate, are dating sites.

    Since the topic of this forum was the usage of computers, my remarks were very relevant, although I explained based on my sentiments, that computers are great to find a mate, but once specific questions arise, a computer cannot fulfill the role of a mentor.

    In other words, if I wasn’t clear:- A computer can yes replace a Shadchan, but cannot replace a mentor.

    #1216409

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    147, inshidduchim is a specific website, and it is not a dating website.

    Meeting someone on a dating website, while not a bad idea, is hardly traditional.

    #1216410

    147
    Participant

    Meeting someone on a dating website, while not a bad idea, is hardly traditional.

    But having a Shidduch crisis and an unacceptable proliferation of old singles is even less traditional, so given that Jewish Dating sites are aiding in alleviating this intolerable scenario, it is very traditional to resort to whatever removes bachelorhood/spinsterhood and increases marriages.

    #1216411

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    poppa_bar_abba & torah613613torah:- Sites like Frumster now renamed JWed and Orthodate, are dating sites.

    I think what you mean to say was: Oh, I wasn’t familiar with the website. Disregard my comments please.

    #1216412

    heythere
    Member

    I think this is a typical example of a parent being a hypocrite. Then they wonder why there kids don’t trust them?!

    #1216413

    interjection
    Participant

    “I think this is a typical example of a parent being a hypocrite. Then they wonder why there kids don’t trust them?!”

    It’s an entirely different situation. OP was more-or-less taking a poll, something which is generally done of anonymous strangers. On the other hand, she was asking if it’s healthy and wise to take life-altering advice from a stranger who knows almost nothing about you.

    #1216414

    heythere
    Member

    Sorry I guess I’m just overly sensitive on these things. Probably bec. of my parents. (Hope my parents don’t see this)

    What do you think you’re doing on the internet?

    -your parents

    #1216415

    apushatayid
    Participant

    is it the torah way to anonymously slam other people?

    #1216416

    heythere
    Member

    Ha! That’s a good one!

    #1216417

    big mama
    Participant

    OMG that’s funny heythere did the mod add the bold to your post or did you add it?

    #1216418

    heythere
    Member

    Oh I didn’t even notice that.

    It is pretty funny.

    Who knows what else the are adding to people posts 🙂

    Any time a mod edits a post, you will see a message in bold.

    #1216419

    Health
    Participant

    BS -“Children are a dime a dozen. And to quote Bill Cosby “I’ll kill you son, I can make another one that looks just like you.”

    The quote I remember from him was -“I brought you into this world and I’m going to take you out.”

    #1216420

    heythere
    Member

    He could have said both

    #1216421

    heythere
    Member

    I just googled it and he actually did say both.

    #1216422

    big mama
    Participant

    I guess even comedians reuse stuff sometimes.

    #1216423

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Any time a mod edits a post, you will see a message in bold.

    Why can’t a mod just write his own post?

    Because it’s easier this way.

    #1216425

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    haha i just saw that this inshidduchim website is being advertised on yw!! lol

    #1216426

    hmmm613
    Member

    Does anyone know who is behind this site?

    #1216427

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    No, but it’s a nice site.

    #1216428

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    thanks for bumping. excellent thread

    #1216429

    People, let’s remember that some people aren’t to bright as to know what to say to the person they might actually marry… This website is HIlaRIous!

    #1216430

    tzup
    Member

    Care to explain?

    #1216431

    Sure, in other words if everybody had common sense this website would not be needed.

    #1216432

    tzup
    Member

    I don’t understand why is it any different then ywn coffee room?

    #1216433

    WIY
    Member

    “I don’t understand why is it any different then ywn coffee room?”

    The people here are smarter and funnier.

    #1216434

    If you don’t understand then it might be just the same

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