Is Dating Tznius?

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  • #1212152
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “LU,

    In which Country were did your dating experiences happen?”

    I’ve gone out in both EY and the US, but mainly EY. I am not sure which post you are referring to, and I no longer remember what I wrote. If you can provide a link to the post you are referring to, I can tell you which country I was referring to.

    Chances are I was talking about EY, since most of my dating was done here, and the first 14-15 years were only in EY.

    #1212153

    LU,

    Is that where you came of age

    In which decade

    #1212154
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I was living in EY when I started shidduchim. Basically the 90’s.

    #1212155
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    LU!!! Best decade of the universe! (in my life’s experience)

    Esp since neon crayons were all the rage.

    #1212156

    LU,

    your description of your experiences then is far from unusual for many of both genders

    How did end up there?Your parents made aliya?

    #1212157
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    not mine.

    The best years of my life were ages 0-13, and 38+. The quarter of a century between 13 and 38 was extremely difficult, and I am really glad it is over! But, at the same time, Baruch Hashem, I learned a lot of things during those years that are very helpful now, ad meah v’esrim at least, B’ezras Hashem. Both book learning and life lessons.

    #1212158

    LU,

    It’s pretty rare for today’s younger generation to have the problems that we had,at least for North America .

    They grew up differently

    How did end up there?Your parents made aliya?

    #1212159
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    What problems did you have in North America that people in younger generations in North America don’t have now?

    #1212160
    Git Meshige
    Participant

    Joseph, Do you think your Zeides and Elter Zeides would have approved of your Bitul Zman on the Internet for so many years? Think about it, how many hours and hours are wasted on these frivolous discussions when one could immerse themselves in Torah study and Chesed the way your Elter Zeides did.

    #1212161

    lightbrite,

    That discussion would be too long

    For one, Our generation were likely more straightshooting and on the flipside more gullible

    #1212162
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Actually, I think that this generation has a much harder time on the whole than ours did. Teenagers and kids certainly seem to have a much harder time.

    I think that my experiences were relatively unique. I do sometimes meet or hear about someone my age who also has had a hard time, but most people whom I know don’t seem to. Also, what I think was unique for me was that I had a hard time both during my teenagers years and during my 20’s and 30’s. Most people I know don’t seem to have had a hard time during all three of those decades.

    I’m sure there are others from my generation who have had a hard time, but my particular experiences were very unique for my peer group, and I don’t think they were at all typical.

    Just to give a few small examples: I am the only one from my high school class who is still single, and this has been the case for app. 20 years. I was the only one from my high school or seminary class whose parents made aliyah with them right after high school. I was also the only one who went to the seminary that I went to. And I was the only American from my high school or seminary who stayed in Israel after Shana Bet.

    These are just some of the more minor examples. There are many other things, but they are too personal.

    The point is that my experiences were very unique.

    I don’t mean to complain – I am Boruch Hashem, pretty happy with the way my life is right now, and I have a lot to thank Hashem for. I don’t necessarily mind being unique, and my life has also been unique in many positive ways. I have certainly had many opportunities in my life to do things that I really wanted to do and that few people have the opportunity to do. And I am very thankful for those things.

    #1212163
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    It is time: what did I write that you thought was typical of our generation (and different than this one)? and/or typical of your own experiences?

    #1212164

    LU,

    your dating difficulties

    lightbrite,

    The education system is much better than in our days (for boys at least)

    #1212165

    Permit me to restate that:

    The education system is much better than in our days (for boys at least) IF the boy(s) are capable

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