Is it reasonable to tell a 21 yr old boy to date a 24 yr old girl !!!!!!

Home Coffeeroom Shidduchim Is it reasonable to tell a 21 yr old boy to date a 24 yr old girl !!!!!!

Viewing 31 posts - 1 through 31 (of 31 total)
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  • #1503469

    Freddyfish
    Participant

    Since agedoesn’t matter anyways!!!!!!

    #1503681

    spilledcoffee
    Participant

    What has this world come to????

    Do you think Avrohom Avinu would have dated a 24-year old girl?
    HE WOULDN’T HAVE CARED.
    It’s just the age.
    Yitzchok Avinu married a 3-year old girl, and he was 40.

    The whole get-married-at-21 campaign is really really dumb.
    When your ready to start dating, start dating.
    And it doesn’t matter how old you are.

    #1503682

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    No. Don’t tell people who to date.

    #1503702

    funnybone
    Participant

    Is everything else perfect on paper? Everyone gas their own priorities, so i cannot get into specifics, but if the shoe fits, then…um, try it on?

    #1503734

    whitecar
    Participant

    You can ask but he probably never take yoy serious again (I wouldnt)

    #1503730

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    No
    (btw, i really hope noone is getting told to date anyone

    #1503746

    147
    Participant

    Is it reasonable to tell a 21 yr old boy to date a 24 yr old girl !!!!!! My question is:- Is it even reasonable to be questioning this? Answer:- Resounding NO!! Sir 21:- Go out with Madame 24, and don’t even spend 1 iota of your energy worrying about Madame 24’s age.

    #1503747

    Joseph
    Participant

    It isn’t any different for a 21 year old boy to date a 24 year old girl than for a 24 year old boy to date a 21 year old girl.

    #1503759

    chiefshmerel
    Participant

    There’s nothing wrong with suggesting it. There’s something wrong with telling him to date her.

    #1503860

    make a point
    Participant

    If you have a 24 year old daughter , then yes it is reasonable, if you have a 21 year old son it isn’t reasonable.
    How fast Would you set up a 29 year old guy with a 20 year old girl?
    All depends on situation , but le’chatchila …..

    #1503848

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    It isn’t any different for a 21 year old boy to date a 24 year old girl than for a 24 year old boy to date a 21 year old girl.
    I disagree. Girls at 24 are usually more mature and have gone thru “life” more than 21 yr old boys, expecially learning guys. 24 yr old boy and 21 yr old girl has better odds.

    #1503849

    hml
    Participant

    It is reasonable for a younger boy to date – and marry – an older girl. Tell? No. Suggest, recommend, advise? Why not?

    #1503892

    Joseph
    Participant

    “Girls at 24 are usually more mature and have gone thru “life” more than 21 yr old boys, expecially learning guys.”

    That’s totally shtusim. It is a popular misconception, but a misconception nonetheless.

    #1503898

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy I disagree. I see many immature girls, and meet many mature guys.
    It depends on the people, don’t generalize.
    I think everyone should give a fair chance to everyone else.
    People should at the very least look into things before dismissing an idea because of age.

    #1503935

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Age differential is more important at younger ages….less so as we get older. Simple arithmetic….a 15/30 year old match for a shidcuh makes little sense whereas the same 15 year age gap at 45/60 seems more within the scope of realtiy.

    #1504205

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    That’s totally shtusim. It is a popular misconception, but a misconception nonetheless.
    Im not sure if thats what u were referring to when u said there’s no difference. Agree to disagree.

    oyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy I disagree. I see many immature girls, and meet many mature guys.
    It depends on the people, don’t generalize.

    I did write “usually more”. Yes, it is a generalization, there are exceptions, probably many. But i dont think it makes sense to push the general typical 21 old boy to go out with a 24 yr old girl. Joe thinks theres no difference btween 21 boy w 24 girl or 21 girl w 24 boy. I say there is.

    #1504268

    apushatayid
    Participant

    I dont think it is reasonable to tell anyone, of any gender to date anyone, no matter what their age.

    I dont think it is unreasonable though, to make such a suggestion, if one is fully prepared to explain to the parties involved why it makes sense.

    #1504216

    litvishechossid
    Participant

    actually a 24 year old girl isnt always more mature than a 21 year old guy seeing how girls tend to stay living at home until marriage no matter how much money they make or how settled they are for the time being. While guys start traveling around either for Yeshiva at a very young age or simply rent with roomates away from home, at any rate they have experience living on their own and fending for themselves.

    #1504214

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Don’t push anything, but don’t say it’s unreasonable to look into it and take the suggestion seriously.

    #1504586

    Schneubs
    Participant

    Nobody should be forced or pressured into dating anyone, regardless of age.
    However, if maturity-wise etc both parties are on the same page, why not go out?

    #1504599

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To Litvishechosid
    You may live in a time warp but “NOT all unmarried girls live at home until they get married no matter now much money they make”….. Your stereotype is about 10-20 years out of date. More young frum women are getting their own apartments (many sharing rentals with friends) while there are also many guys likely to be living in their parents’ basements, when not hanging out in some dorm room at a yeshiva. The applications for admission to Stern College have been growing by record amounts along with other special programs for frum women who want to pursue college and graduate studies. No, they just don’t hang around the house anymore helping with the younger kids and cleaning.

    #1504617

    Joseph
    Participant

    hadorah: You’re talking about Goyim. Litvishchosid was referring to Yidden. Single yiddishe girls live with their parents; they don’t move out on their own before marriage.

    #1504668

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Joseph that’s not all true.
    Many girls decide to live in Israel and commit to the lifestyle here and move into apartments here after seminary and find a job and/or do online college. I know many like that.

    I know a few others that are in programs, or sleep out with an old lady to get some extra pocket money.
    At some point people feel they need to move on. I have a neighbor a few buildings over who is 26. She just feels she is big enough to have an apartment. If she lives at home she ends up getting treated like a child and helping out a lot more than she really should.

    Other girls come from homes that aren’t ideal and move out early on because of that. Others (Israeli’s) can find a job, college, or a school in another city and move out for that living with cousins, grandparents, or renting an apartment with friends….

    There are many reasons why a yiddishe girl would move out before marriage.

    #1504717

    jdb
    Participant

    It is not reasonable to tell anyone of that agree what to do. But it is reasonable for both to be open to it. I dated girls who were older than me. It’s healthy, normal and there is nothing wrong with it.

    #1504741

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Joey…….sorry, but you also need to come out of your cave occasionally….your dark and myscogenistic view of Jewish women (both married and single) isn’t funny any longer. No, its not just a goyishe thing for a professional Jewish woman who earn a decent parnassah to have their own living arrangements (typically with friends to share the rent) If that offends you, all the better.

    #1504773

    Intheparsha@22
    Participant

    No. It is completely unacceptable to tell anyone who they should or shouldn’t date. Most my friends won’t necessarily say no to someone if they r the same age or a drop older but once the gap is more then a year most guys will say no especially if they r under 24. Cuz most of us laugh at Nasi and any1 else that says to get married young and to marry older. BTW when girls stop dumping guys left and right then maybe they can complain about not being married.

    #1504776

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    bout to go out with girl that lives bit out of town and just w parents at home no friends around so she moved in to apt w friends. But not the usual typical id say

    #1504852

    Intheparsha@22
    Participant

    @jdb once the age Gap is past a certain point it’s not healthy it’s creepy. And just because u did it doesn’t make it normal, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong just that it’s not necessarily normal.

    #1505080

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Intheparsha@22

    I think the Nasi project is doing great things.
    Personally, me and my friends laugh at the types of people who are so close-minded they won’t even listen to a suggestion.

    I’d marry a convert, balei teshuva, sefardi, someone younger, someone 8 yeas older, and I’m only 20.

    Be picky about the things that matter, like middos, yirei shamayim, and people who know how to use caps lock and grammar properly.

    Edited

    #1505949

    Intheparsha@22
    Participant

    @shopping613 where did a say anything about not listening and while u maybe willing to marry just about anybody I highly doubt you parents are on the same page as you but I could be wrong. I don’t use correct grammar cuz this is a cartoon not a business letter. By the way it’s great to c how important shopping is to you also I didn’t know there is anything wrong with sefardim but if u ask most sedation they will tell u they don’t wanna marry Ashkenazim.

    #1506231

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Intheparsha@22

    You mentioned earlier you and your friends mock the Nasi project.
    Me and my parents are not on the same page, but no one said we have to be. (:
    It’s easier to read people’s posts and take them serious when they don’t look like they were written by a 14 year old.
    Also, I made this account in elementary school and I do not have any memory of picking this name, and I still don’t know why I picked this name as I did not even like shopping at that age. The users here have known me by this name for many years, and for that reason I have kept it even as I matured.
    I meet many sefardim who would marry ashkenazi.

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