YWN Coffee Room » Humor & Entertainment

Limericks!

(775 posts)

Tags:

No tags yet.

  1. mak
    Member

    To the CR I am kind of new,
    and posting alot I don't do,
    but then I saw this thread
    and fell right out of bed
    and I knew I just must add a few.

    (Here is a limerick according to the style of Dr. Seuss)
    There once was a man from Xan Xu,
    who just didn't know what to do,
    he had a pet florenge
    that swallowed an orange
    and now was a fla flee flo floo.

    So while some think that Seuss was the best,
    I don't think he passes the test,
    His words all made up
    without using his kup
    to ryme one of his words with the rest.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  2. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    Now that the New Year's arrived
    I'm so glad that this thread is revived.
    YomTov brings much work
    Duties we cannot shirk
    So I am happy that "Limericks" survived.

    Tsu alla a zeesen gut yor
    We'll maintain friendships as before
    We shall traverse the miles
    With our keyboards and smiles
    And maintain CR manners so nobody's sore.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  3. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    For Shticky Guy - an entertaining tip
    So your hosting skills, they do not slip
    You won't get un-nerved
    Remembering what you served
    Keep notes into which you can dip.

    (whenever I have company, I write down who I had, what I served, the occasion, the color of the tablecloth and what the centerpiece (if any) was - I know what I served to somebody 15 years ago.)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  4. am yisrael chai
    We await your rejoining us!

    mg, you're the Queen of organization
    Probably in the whole entire nation
    But notes in which to dip?
    I prefer chumus with my chip!
    Unless I was plotzing with starvation -ח״ו שאפ״ל

    Posted 3 years ago #
  5. am yisrael chai
    We await your rejoining us!

    Your question is not heretical
    It is just quite intellectual
    Just go to some lengths
    To focus on your strengths
    Pray your weakness be less detectable

    The context of the above is found here:
    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/asking-mechila-of-kids#post-309072

    Posted 3 years ago #
  6. minyan gal
    limericist extrordinaire

    To all of my friends building booths
    Some unfortunate yearly, sad truths
    Just as soon as you're done
    The rain, it will come
    And become gravy upon your roast goose.

    No matter if Sukkot is rainy or fine
    I send this message to your house from mine.
    Have a Chag that is healthy
    The year should be wealthy
    Parnossah and joy should be thine.

    The message is good from Hashem
    Gilad will be home once again
    He will finally do a brocha
    With his entire mishpocha
    We need to daven for all IDF men (and women, of course).

    Posted 3 years ago #
  7. blinky
    Blinquie

    I made this one up one yr ago, i decided to bring it back up!

    At this time Hashem made an Os,
    We bless it over the wine in our Cos,
    All our worries are dropped,
    And melacha is stopped,
    Enjoy this Shabbos Parshas Toldos!

    Good Shabbos!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  8. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    blinky: love it!!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  9. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    THANKSGIVING

    They thank once a year
    over a turkey dinner and beer
    for all the country's good
    especially all the food
    which eventually their theighs will wear

    But not the Chosen Nation
    who expresses his elation
    for all that He has given
    Our gratitude towards Him
    We express EACH DAY in prostration

    Posted 3 years ago #
  10. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    BaalHabooze welcome to Limericks
    You fellow full of liqor and tricks
    Its a great thread although
    Of late its been real slow
    So come here and your name we'll affix

    "We express EACH DAY in prostration"?
    That was a puzzling revelation
    We prostrate just a smidgen
    Unlike another religion
    Boy, I'm real glad for this limitation

    Unless you were thinking of 'bow'
    More than that my back wont allow
    Without some exercise
    I will agonize
    My body will protest, and how

    Minyan Gal, Smartcookie and Blinky
    Without you this thread it did shrinky
    If I give you a poke
    Will you think it's a joke
    Or will you come turn this page from a dinky

    Posted 3 years ago #
  11. smartcookie
    Member

    After Havdalah and smelling some clove,
    I'd like to wish all a Shavua & Chodesh Tov,
    Great to be back on this page
    Haven't posted limericks in quite an age
    Now back to washing dishes and scrubbing my stove!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  12. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    there once was a troll
    who had a mole
    he was hairy
    he was scary
    he had no soul

    Posted 3 years ago #
  13. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    I so love this time of year
    the leaves-sprinkled streets and cold autumn air
    Am I the only one?
    that is having so much fun
    taking in life's beauty, over a cold glass of beerhttp://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/

    The colors of fall makes its theme
    yellow, orange, and red, replacing green
    my garden's a delight to see
    bedecked in the season's finery
    till my wife handed me a rake and said, "Go clean"

    Posted 3 years ago #
  14. blinky
    Blinquie

    As requested by Ken Zayn here is a limerick

    Limericks can be fun,
    But ideas I have none,
    To be quite frank
    My mind is blank
    Never mind I think its done!

    Attention all the poets out there,
    Come join I know you are still here,
    Lets reunite,
    On this night,
    And write a limerick if you dare!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  15. tzaddiq
    Member

    i will contribute a line or 2
    to this thread for all of you
    you won’t be spellbound
    ‘cuz it’s nothing profound
    I’m doin’ it ‘cuz of Blink’y cue

    had a nice week here once again
    reading posts every now and then
    but gotta run & get dressed
    for the Holy Day of Rest
    for if not now then when?

    Posted 3 years ago #
  16. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    When writing a good limerick
    Here's advice that I do hope will stick.
    Keep up with the meter,
    The words will sound sweeter;
    And of compliments, you'll have your pick.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  17. smartcookie
    Member

    Hey, WB to all limerick old timers
    And hello to all, you new rhymers
    But where's Minyan Gal
    Didn't hear from her in a while
    Did she go join some mountain climbers?

    Posted 3 years ago #
  18. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    there once was little old a man amed joe
    whos favorite drink had the same name you know
    he drank all day
    till his face turned gray
    and this just goes to show

    Posted 3 years ago #
  19. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    hey moskidoodle, sounds like my old uncle in jail
    who'd drink till he turned completely pale
    he'd continue even while drivin'
    till police finally brought him in
    Now all his booze is up for sale

    Posted 3 years ago #
  20. ItcheSrulik
    Formerly college sheigetz. Now ger.

    There once was an old man from Esser
    whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser
    it at last grew so small
    he knew nothing at all
    and now he's a college professor.

    Happy finals week everyone.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  21. yentingyenta
    Member

    thank you izche for the funny lim-er-ick
    now its time for me to pray that he picks
    the questions i know
    and synapses flow
    and the professor is not a nitpick(er)

    home stretch of info, here i come!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  22. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    Oh, how I hated college and school
    I was known as the dreikup, the letz, the class fool
    All the work that I did
    Was ridiculed and derided
    So I turned to booze, and now all’s cool.

    How I grew up to be half-normal is a question
    That I will answer so pay good attention
    With a strong will to succeed
    Nothing can stop you indeed
    Now I’m CEO and president of a large corporation.

    Ok, alright, not really a CEO
    And perhaps not exactly ”president”, you know
    But a boozer I will forever be
    And I FEEL rich and live happily
    Eizeh Hoo Oshir HaSomei’ach b’chelko

    :)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  23. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    A warm welcome back to BaalHabooze
    I was sorry to hear of your news
    That your son he was ill
    And was in hospital until
    You came back here to share out your views

    During your absence I can say
    That I also have stayed away
    Because I was depicted
    As being addicted
    A title which really doesnt pay

    So for now I just occasionally lurk
    And get on with my life and my work
    It was a great fight
    To keep off this site
    Which brings knowledge and many a smirk

    Now for some limericks, aha
    Apart from the weekly Parsha
    We can write of the glory
    Of the ancient story
    Of the festival we call Chanuka

    It was an amazing battle
    The mighty Greek army did rattle
    Antiyochus the thug
    Overlooked an oil jug
    And of this great Nes we do prattle

    That amongst the great fighting and turmoil
    That did the Beis Hamikdosh embroil
    When the Maccabees did yearn
    For pure shemen to burn
    They discovered a sealed jug of oil

    Posted 3 years ago #
  24. ultrajew94
    TROLL - BLOCKED

    there once was a boy named zevy,
    who was not at all heavy,
    he learned all day,
    and got no pay,
    because he was a kollel man
    ooooohhhhhh, he was a kollel man

    Posted 3 years ago #
  25. ultrajew94
    TROLL - BLOCKED

    oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,
    oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,
    oy yoy yoy yoy,
    oy yoy yoy yoy,
    and they wouldnt let him in the band.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  26. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    I once had a teacher who was so mean
    All he did all day is complain and scream
    One day we had had enough
    Of his strictness, so tough
    So we filled up his boots with ice cream.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  27. blinky
    Blinquie

    I made this one up a year ago (i changed it a bit)

    Jews are celebrating this week,
    How they were saved from Greek,
    Weak won the strong,
    And a jug lasted long,
    So Al Hanisim we do speak!

    Shticky- yours are amazing i like the thug one!

    Freilichin Chanukah!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  28. blinky
    Blinquie

    Our diet on Chanukah we do cheat,
    As there are fried donuts that we eat,
    And the potato patty,
    Can be quite fatty,
    But it will be our once a year treat!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  29. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    If donuts once a year would be our fate
    Then we still would not gain too much weight
    But Blinky you're mistaken
    For its not just once we're bakin'
    And we dont only keep 7 days but 8!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  30. smartcookie
    Member

    At least we have a valid excuse
    For 8 days a gallon of oil to use
    You'll go straight to Gan Eden
    If in oil you'll be bathin'
    So some more donuts do not refuse!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  31. blinky
    Blinquie

    Shticky you are absolutely right,
    Channukah is not just one night,
    With all the Yomom Tovim,
    In addition to Purim,
    Our clothes also start to get tight!

    Smartcookie- hi!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  32. smartcookie
    Member

    Hey blinks, Hi to you!
    I'm still around but you're taboo
    From the CR you disappeared
    Did anyone here get you scared?
    Please come by more often than you do!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  33. blinky
    Blinquie

    A new king came into play,
    Gave taxes for the Jews to pay,
    Yosefs death we mourn,
    But then Moshe was born,
    Who ended up saving the day.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  34. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    In a little basket a baby floated away
    When a princess saved him, with her he’d stay
    Yet though he grew up in royalty
    Moshe expressed his loyalty
    To his brethren who suffered all day

    One day he found a bush on fire
    G-d said, you I want to hire
    So go spread the good news
    It is time to lead out the jews
    who haven’t changed their names, tongue, nor attire

    Posted 3 years ago #
  35. blinky
    Blinquie

    BH- you have rhyming talent but they are not quite limericks! Read the rules in the begining of the thread, maybe see if you can switch your poem to one!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  36. oomis
    Best Bubby EVER

    Our Torah tells wonderful maisos
    Of the start of our Avos and Emahos,
    But the point of each tale
    Is how Am Yisrael
    Were chosen by G-d to do mitzvos.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  37. blinky
    Blinquie

    Moshe struck an Egyptian dead,
    And made King Pharoh want his head,
    He ran to the waters,
    And met seven dauthers,
    And Tzipporah, his wife he did wed!

    oomis- thats a beautiful one!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  38. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    I made this one up a year ago

    In the absence of recent additions, I'll re-post one of my favorite ones from last year

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/limericks/page/6#post-185895

    In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:

    In the sedras of שמות and וארא
    The jews had a שעבוד יתירה
    משה went to the nile
    And פרעה he did rile
    When he asked to be let out במהרה

    In this weeks sedra called Bo
    He again asked "Let my people go"
    Cos if you dont then takke
    You'll receive another makka
    But the stubbon king just said "NO!"

    So H'shem sent in swarms of locust
    that covered the ground like dust
    They came with a gale
    Eating the remnents of the hail
    פרעה said "Please remove them, you must!"

    So משה davenned and they went
    and פרעה he tried to repent
    But he could play no more part
    cos H'shem hardened his heart
    So to free the Jews he could not consent

    Next came darkness - no sun's rays
    And believe me it was more than a haze
    The dark they could feel
    It was such a big deal
    That no Mitzri could move for 3 days

    FInally משה did warn
    Of the killing of every 1st born
    Bloody doorposts showed whose
    Were the homes of the Jews
    Every Mitzri, even פרעה, did mourn

    פרעה ran out in his night dress
    But could not find משה's address
    So the kids they did play
    Sending פרעה astray
    They had fun with his Royal Highness

    Suddenely משה he found
    But when he said "GO NOW", משה frowned
    They went only the next morning
    פרעה chased without warning
    And into the Yam Suf they drowned

    The lesson from all this is clear
    At my limerick dont sneer but cheer
    Writing this is gr8 fun
    SO come on everyone
    But please dont put it off till next year!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  39. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    good stuff, Shticky Guy! that was great :)

    Posted 3 years ago #
  40. blinky
    Blinquie

    I remember when you made it up...its really amazing! You really have a lot of talent!

    ahhh the good old limerick days!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  41. smartcookie
    Member

    Blinks, don't despair
    Let's bring the good old days back here
    A new limerick every hour
    So this thread won't turn sour
    For all limerick creaters, cheers!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  42. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    i will try bl"n to contribute a lot
    to this limerick thread, a topic so hot
    according to rules they'll be
    to blinky's satisfactory
    throughout this cold month of Shevat.

    Posted 3 years ago #
  43. blinky
    Blinquie

    Thanx everyone! I made this one up before but being that its applicable now...

    Mazel Tov mazel tov this is not a ploy,
    Im an aunt of a new baby boy,
    A vacht nacht and bris,
    You won't want to miss,
    Baruch Hashem for this happy joy!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  44. BaalHabooze
    On the rocks

    mazel tov Aunt Blinky!!!!!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  45. smartcookie
    Member

    Blinky, a hearty Mazel tov
    For the new nephew you'll love
    Does he have talent like you?
    To create limericks from new
    May he grow up to be an ehrliche rav!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  46. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    Aunt Blinky a big mazeltov to you
    On the birth of your darling nephew
    It was gorgeous to hear
    Of the news you did share
    And we wish you your own simchas too

    Posted 3 years ago #
  47. blinky
    Blinquie

    Thank you thank you, your all so sweet,
    Yes, being an Aunt is very neat,
    To the newbie ill shower,
    With love every hour,
    And gifts to make my cash deplete!

    Good Shabbos!

    Posted 3 years ago #
  48. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    We're now up to limerick 698
    you know what, I really cant wait
    we are now so near
    in the thread I hold dear
    I'll write some more out in a spate

    Posted 3 years ago #
  49. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    Its limerick 699
    in this favorite ywn thread of mine
    I exclusively disclose
    as i do compose
    Limerick writing is really divine

    Posted 3 years ago #
  50. Shticky Guy
    THE SHTICKIEST POSTER IN THE ©®

    "We've arrived! We've arrived!" I thundered
    so just in case you wondered
    please give a big cheer
    because now we are here
    at LIMERICK NUMBER SEVEN HUNDRED!!!

    ***BIG MAZAL TOV TO OP BLINKY***

    Posted 3 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply »

You must log in to post.