Marrying off the last one, does this mean we are officially old? 👴👵

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  • #1318379

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    I”H the Sunday after Tisha B’Av, Mrs. CTL and I will marry off our last, and youngest child.
    B”H I’m in my mid 60s and feel fine. I’m active, work full-time, do all kinds of work around the house: cook, paint, garden, shovel snow, clean the pool. I don’t go to the gym, but use the exercise equipment at home and swim 5 days per week.
    At Shabbos lunch this topic came up. Our guests were a few married couples we’ve known more than 40 years. The consensus of the women was that we are now ‘officially old’ the men did not feel this way. All of the women have retired from any full time outside the house careers: teaching, real estate, accounting. Mrs. CTL has been in a very limited work mode since her near fatal illness last year.
    The men are all still enjoying their careers, although planning to scale back as they can shift more responsibility to adult children.

    So, How old is ‘old?’

    In your reply, please give your approximate age range (20s, 30s, 40s, etc.) I’m curious how each age group views old age.

    #1318383

    Joseph
    Participant

    Men were created to work outside the home, whereas women were not. So the women are simply returning full time to their natural habitat at home. This, in itself, is not an indication of age.

    That said, women tend to age quicker as a matter of perception (more than reality) and may possibly feel as such quicker as well.

    #1318387

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    CTL: may the chupa take place BSHAH TOVA UMITZLACHAS. Age is a state of mind. From your posts I feel you are far from “old”.

    #1318386

    Joseph
    Participant

    Chazal tell us how old is old.

    #1318390

    big deal
    Participant

    Mazel Tov. First I would like to wish you and your wife much happiness, health, prosperity and lots of Yiddish nachas from all of your offspring for many more years. It’s a beautiful milestone we all wish to achieve.
    I don’t think it as old. I think it’s a beginning of a new era for you – the golden years. How each person ages is individual.
    One of my grandparents were old since the beginning of time. Another grandmother is an nonagenarian and is quite young. She shops, cooks, cleans, vacations, excersizes and far outdoes any of us with her mental capabilities. (Does that make her great great grandchildren old?)

    #1318396

    spiral
    Participant

    You’re as old as you tell yourself you are. I’m in the same stage. My youngest is B”H getting married soon. My husband says he’s middle aged like some of our children who are grandparents already. I’ve been complaining that I’m old for several years now.

    #1318404

    Joseph
    Participant

    spiral, you’re a great-grandparent and have a child engaged to be married? How old is your youngest who is still unmarried?

    #1318430

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Na, you are not old. Your children are!
    Old is whatever age our parents are.

    #1318689

    Yserbius123
    Participant

    Put on Country Yossi’s “Mitzva Tantz” and get ready for years of taking care of grandchildren!

    Who cares if you’re “old”? When did you officially become “an adult”? When you got married? Bought your first home? Had your first child? Married your first child? Age is just a number. (Unless it comes to medical issues, then getting old starts when the doctors start telling you “at your age you can expect…”)

    #1318803

    Avi K
    Participant

    A man I knew who lived to be 88 said that you are not old if you have plans for the future.

    #1318962

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @yserbius123
    As we already have grandchildren about to enter shidduchim, we don’t have to get ready to watch grandchildren. Right now we are busy watching an aging, ill MIL……what fun it is to be the sandwich generation

    #1319132

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    Mazel tov!

    #1319125

    huju
    Participant

    If you were married at 18, had your last child at age 36, he/she marries at 18, you’re 54. Not old.

    If you were married at 25, had your last child at age 39, he/she marries at 25, you’re 64. You’re old. There is even a song about “when I get old and losing my hair …”

    #1319131

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    “At seudas shlishis, surrounded by his talmidim, Reb Shlomo once spoke passionately about the desire to change, to truly grow. He suddenly stopped and looked around at the faces of his listeners, and he realized that they didn’t truly believe that it was still possible to change. He held his grey beard and began to shout, ‘I am the youngest one here!'”

    “In a shmuess during aseres yemei teshuva, Reb Shlomo explained what it means to ‘be young.’ He shared a conversation that he had recently had with an elderly woman. Mrs. Gringold was a Russian woman of over one hundred years who resided in a local nursing home. Rebbi used to visit her often and speak with her”…………….”Rebbi paused when he completed the story and looked around. ‘Who is old and who is young? You who are in your twenties but cynical and mistrustful about your ability to change, are old. Mrs. Gringold, who is still trying, is young!'”

    (Reb Shlomo- The Life and Legacy of Reb Shlomo Freifeld by Rabbi Yisroel Besser,Judaica Press)

    #1319136

    DaasYochid
    Participant

    64 is old??

    #1319323

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Huju………….
    You are close. I am mid 60s, but had my last child at 44. She’s just graduated college and will marry before they both start professional school (guess which profession) at the end of the summer.
    My eldest was born when I was 22, he married at 23 and the eldest granddaughter is now 19, just 15 months younger than our youngest child.

    As for losing my hair, I was in my mid 30s. My father A”H was 32 when I was born and I never saw him with hair. My eldest brother went bald in High School. They say you take after your mother’s father. My mid 40s son has a full head of hair.

    #1319474

    jakob
    Participant

    mazel tov on the upcoming wedding

    making your last childs wedding in todays day everyone knows means one thing after the wedding its time for you & your wife to move to Florida….

    every state has a different retirement age when social security starts & that age keeps on changing from year to year.

    people today are still strong & full time workers into their 70’s & sometimes even close to their 80’s (not just cause their tight on money)

    #1319475

    YesOrNo
    Participant

    Mazal Tov to Mr. and Mrs. CT Lawyer and family.
    Special Mazal Tov to CT Lawyer Elter Bubby.
    May HaShem bentsh you with many long and healthy years and lots of Nachas!
    1. Marrying off your last child? I don’t know if it makes you “old” but it is definitely something to be grateful for!
    2. Forty isn’t old…. if your a tree 🌲!
    3. How do you know your getting old? When you no longer have nosh at your Shabbos Party!

    #1319869

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Jakob,
    Mrs. CTL and I have a Florida Home and almost never use it, I hate hot weather. When my parents, grandparents and aunts/uncles were alive and living in Florida we’d go to Florida one weekend each month.

    Now our children and grandchildren make use of the home and that’s fine with us.

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