My Zeidy is so Jewish…

That he wrote his whole will to Tzedaka.

That he gives everyone a lot of Mitzvos.

That he uses a protractor when he puts on Tefillin

That he learns Torah very loud in middle of the night.

That he smiles at Galachim.

That he licks his lips before kissing the Sefer Torah

That he doesn’t shower in the three weeks.

That he pours the Havdalla wine over his head and into his pockets.

That he wears two ties to Shabbos Mincha

That he says Asher Yatzar every couple of minutes

That he tastes all the food Lekavod Erev Shabbos

That he eats Milchigs on July 4

That he doesn’t tie his shoes on Shabbos

That he wears smaller suspenders on Yom Kippur

That he swears in Yiddish

I like this ^ thread, shopping. Great Jewish takeoff idea!

He doesn’t work.

The stereotype of the Jewish nose is a pernicious one. Nazi propaganda, Soviet propaganda, Czarist propaganda, etc.

How about this? When I am 120, I’d want my eineklach to say this about me:

That he greeted everyone with a smile.

That he respected and learned from all people.

That he learned Torah whenever he had the opportunity to do so, while working hard to care for his family.

That he greeted his wife every erev shabbos with a bouquet of flowers le kavod shabbos.

That he respected those he disagreed with.

That he made a kiddush hashem.

That he defended the oppressed and marginalized.

Perhaps.

I heard it as “my tottys so frum”

That he won’t tell anyone about the Ani he knows of, so that he can be sure to be Mekayem Matanos l’Evyonim l’Mehadrin!

… that he makes sure to be Oiver on all of the Ashamnus and Al Cheits at least once before Yom Kipur so that he doesn’t say Viduy l’Vatalah.

… that he only watches movies during Bein ha’Shemashos, since it is a Sha’ah she’Lo Yom v’Lo Lailah.

I saw this once somewhere as “My rebbi is so shtark…”