what does everyone think about if a boy marries a girl a few years older than him? or should the guy always be older
YWN Coffee Room » Shidduchim
older girls for younger guys
(33 posts)-
Posted 5 months ago #
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my friend's brother got engaged recently to a girl his older sister's age, about a 3 year difference in age. if you feel the guy should be older, date that way. if you feel it can go either way, date that way. i don't really understand why age is such an issue. and if a guy looks/seems like a perfect fit, is age the reason to say no?
personally, being that i'm very low 20's, i'm gonna be hard pressed to find s/o younger than myself.Posted 5 months ago # -
if their rite 4 e/other, thats wat counts!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Ask AZ/NASI/DY
Posted 5 months ago # -
Not to be rude, but if a 20 year old male marries a 28 year old female (for sake of discussion, not taking into account relative maturity - we'll assume an unusually mature 20 year old) -- they could still end up with crowded house full of children, and when she is 78 and he is 70, the age gap won't seem very significant at all (and since women last longer, she'll probably avoid the problem of a long widowhood, though that isn't a problem in the frum community since in our community there are lots of grandchildren by them).
Posted 5 months ago # -
Nothing wrong with s couple of years older, but a 21 year old marrying a 35 year old woman - there's something wrong there.
Posted 5 months ago # -
קוגערז!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Really nothing wrong. If u think one walks around all day thinking hum...how old am I how old is my wife? Well its a once a year celebration and done with. So, few yrs older no prob, as long as ur a good match that in no way should be a detterant.
Posted 5 months ago # -
lol @ yentingyenta "very low" 20's.
Posted 5 months ago # -
why is it fine the other way around? especially as the OP stated it's only a couple of years...
Posted 5 months ago # -
If a guy is uncomfortable then no. If he really doesn't care, then yes. Some bochurim I know really don't like the idea of being younger than their bashert. These are bochurim who are confident, happy, and have a solid self-esteem. So, it really depends on the boy's level of comfort. I feel that no matter who is older, it shouldn't be by more than 5-6 years. You have to be not only compatible, but the ages should at least be close as well.
Posted 5 months ago # -
My great-grandfather was about 60 when he married my 25 year old great-grandmother.
Posted 5 months ago # -
My grandfather was six years younger than my grandmother.
They had a beautiful happy life together,
Posted 5 months ago # -
@stamamen - really!!!???!!!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Why should there be anything wrong? R' Pesach Krohn is a big proponent of this and encorouges people to do this.
Posted 5 months ago # -
@BTguy, whats so funny?
Posted 5 months ago # -
@lolkatz:
Niiiice.
Posted 5 months ago # -
It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the couple in question.
Posted 5 months ago # -
So, everyone has heard of a 25 year old guy marring a 19 year old girl, and thought nothing.
Or a 24 year old guy marrying a 26 year old girl.At what point do you start wondering if everything is ok?
How about 28 year old guy and 19 year old girl?
How about 20 year old guy and 25 year old girl?What are your cutoffs before you start snickering to yourself (and maybe to your chavrusah, just a bit)
Posted 5 months ago # -
My 30 year old friend married a 20 year old girl.
Posted 5 months ago # -
My 58 year old great-grandfather married my 28 year old great-grandmother.
Posted 5 months ago # -
yitayningwut -"My 58 year old great-grandfather married my 28 year old great-grandmother."
Yes, and there should be a lot more age gaps like this! I started a topic here in the CR discussing this called -"Who wants to be a Tzadaikes like Rus?".
Posted 5 months ago # -
I just heard recently about a 20-year-old boy that married a 28-year-old girl (I don't know them personally).
And my mother is four years older than my father, too.Posted 5 months ago # -
Health -
Hey, I have no objection.
Posted 5 months ago # -
It really comes down to compatability and level of maturity, not age.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Minchag Yerushalayim
Posted 5 months ago # -
I personally know Two couples where the boy was 23-24 and the girl
was 27 yrs. old when they got married. They are both married approx. Five years with kids and they are very happy. Of course when people heard the Shidduch their first reaction was of total disbelief....but Boruch Hashem it's working out nicely. Also, Twenty-five years ago my sister-in-law at age 24 married a guy who was 22 at the time (then it wasn't so common and is more acceptable now) they have a large family and are Boruch Hashem very happy together. With the Shidduch crisis today, people should be more open to this idea and help establish more Yiddishe families for Klal Yisroel.Posted 5 months ago # -
popcorn -"With the Shidduch crisis today, people should be more open to this idea and help establish more Yiddishe families for Klal Yisroel."
Yes, and they should be more open to taking a guy 20 -30 years older than them too!
Posted 5 months ago # -
This reminds me of an Readers Digest anecdote.
So this 64 year old dude is taking a college chemistry course, and his lab partner is a 24 year old girl. And he likes her. Naturally.
So one day he is by the doctor, and asks the doctor: "Say, do you think a 40 year age gap should get in the way of love?"
So the doctor looks at the guys chart, and says, "Why, are you thinking of dating a 104 year old?"
Posted 5 months ago # -
PBA - +1
Posted 5 months ago # -
lol popa
Posted 5 months ago # -
So, everyone has heard of a 25 year old guy marring a 19 year old girl, and thought nothing.
Or a 24 year old guy marrying a 26 year old girl.At what point do you start wondering if everything is ok?
How about 28 year old guy and 19 year old girl?
How about 20 year old guy and 25 year old girl?What are your cutoffs before you start snickering to yourself (and maybe to your chavrusah, just a bit)
Do a search for "Dating Pools" on XKCD.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Off the bat I would date a girl that is three years older or younger. Those limits can be pushed though, depending on the circumstances.
Posted 5 months ago #
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