Home › Forums › Controversial Topics › Pre-Martial advice (for choosanim and kallahs)
- This topic has 55 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 9 months ago by yichusdik.
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September 20, 2015 2:03 am at 2:03 am #1157495writersoulParticipant
Seriously, I’ve been gone a while, but I didn’t think it was quite long enough that NOBODY would have made the Discworld joke yet…
September 20, 2015 5:14 am at 5:14 am #1157496bentzionParticipantwritersoul: Care to share the “Discworld joke” as I have no idea what your talking about.
October 21, 2015 12:45 am at 12:45 am #1157498☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantThe joke has to do with the use of “martial*”
instead of the intended “marital” in the title –
a character in one of the books makes the same mistake.
*Some definitions:
1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of war; warlike.
2. Relating to or connected with the armed forces or
the profession of arms or military life.
June 29, 2016 2:16 pm at 2:16 pm #1157499bentzionParticipantWas curious if anyone has anything more to say on his topic. Anyone care to share their personal expierence regarding this topic?
June 29, 2016 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm #1157500JosephParticipantI think the full spectrum of discussion has been exhausted on this topic and there’s nothing else to say.
June 29, 2016 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm #1157501yichusdikParticipantIt is rare indeed that I agree with DY, and even rarer that I ageee with Joseph. But I think it is inappropriate for the Chassan and Kallah to learn this material together.
Before I married (the first time) we learned with a husband and wife, separately.
I also agree with those who say there should be an opportunity to learn about household management, financial responsibility, etc, for those who haven’t lived on their own; but not from those who teach about intimacy. There are most likely better suited and experienced people to discuss that.
Finally, bentzion, I think it would be in both the chassan and the kallah’s interest to find an advisor on how to think and speak and understand the evolving needs of their soon to be partner in life. Assumptions made in the early stages of a marriage can have consequences, and not understanding or discussing them can exacerbate matters. I can benefit from earlier experience now that I am a chassan again. Not everyone needs that kind of experience. Good advice would be preferable.
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