Pre-Martial advice (for choosanim and kallahs)

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  • #1157495
    writersoul
    Participant

    Seriously, I’ve been gone a while, but I didn’t think it was quite long enough that NOBODY would have made the Discworld joke yet…

    #1157496
    bentzion
    Participant

    writersoul: Care to share the “Discworld joke” as I have no idea what your talking about.

    #1157498

    The joke has to do with the use of “martial*”

    instead of the intended “marital” in the title –

    a character in one of the books makes the same mistake.

    *Some definitions:

    1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of war; warlike.

    2. Relating to or connected with the armed forces or

    the profession of arms or military life.

    #1157499
    bentzion
    Participant

    Was curious if anyone has anything more to say on his topic. Anyone care to share their personal expierence regarding this topic?

    #1157500
    Joseph
    Participant

    I think the full spectrum of discussion has been exhausted on this topic and there’s nothing else to say.

    #1157501
    yichusdik
    Participant

    It is rare indeed that I agree with DY, and even rarer that I ageee with Joseph. But I think it is inappropriate for the Chassan and Kallah to learn this material together.

    Before I married (the first time) we learned with a husband and wife, separately.

    I also agree with those who say there should be an opportunity to learn about household management, financial responsibility, etc, for those who haven’t lived on their own; but not from those who teach about intimacy. There are most likely better suited and experienced people to discuss that.

    Finally, bentzion, I think it would be in both the chassan and the kallah’s interest to find an advisor on how to think and speak and understand the evolving needs of their soon to be partner in life. Assumptions made in the early stages of a marriage can have consequences, and not understanding or discussing them can exacerbate matters. I can benefit from earlier experience now that I am a chassan again. Not everyone needs that kind of experience. Good advice would be preferable.

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