If you are invited as a guest and sleep overnight at someone's home do you have to strip the linen and leave it in a pile for your host? Is this required or is this extra? Does it depend on if the guest is a girl or boy or are the rules the same? (am I overtaking this? lol)
Thanks
I usually ask the mrs of the house what she prefers. it's wuick and simple, plus it saves her time if she needs it done.
I usually ask the host but if they are not around I just make the bed so it looks good.
I usually burn it, and let them deal with their insurance.
Nobody will complain if you take off the linen. It's a guaranteed way to make things easier for them. Some people may not get upset if you don't, but rather safe than sorry...
Until you are on the other end of having guests you may not realize all that really goes into having someone over. It is very important to show proper appreciation. Small acts, like stripping the bed, demonstrate הכרת הטוב because you are showing that you appreciate that your host(ess) has increased their work load on your behalf and you are therefore trying to alleviate some of that extra work in any small way that you can.
Remember, הכרת הטוב is one of the fundamentals of the תורה.
WIY - It's pretty excpected. Put it like this, you know its getting changed, so why shouldn't you be responsible to strip the linen. A bit of hakoras hatov is appreciated.
I only change the linen after 3 guests, so I prefer that my guests just make the bed before they leave.
I appreciate it when my guests strip the beds. What's really annoying is when I have one guest sleeping in a room with 2 beds, & they make their bed before they leave. Now I'm stuck with sripping 2 beds (since I don't know which one they slept in), washing 2 sets of linens, & remaking 2 beds.
Meema, No - you didn't do it for nothing. I slept in both, just so that you shouldn't work in vain.
bowwow - Your not serious?
The problem of striping the bed is that the room looks bad until the hosts gets a chance to do laundry which can be middle of the week.
I think its better to do the bed in a neat way but maybe not exactly the way it was to show which bed you've used.
We always ask first. The host may have reasons not to strip the bed. When we have a guest in our extra bedroom, we prefer the bed not be stripped. We may not get to do a load of sheets for a few days, so this way the bed is covered until we are ready to deal with it. Of course, if the guest does it without asking, we would never say anything. The effort is always appreciated.
It looks like the best move is just to ask the host what they prefer because it seems like theres no consensus.
Real Brisker- It really depends. In the summer time when people tend to sweat more I'll change it more often, but in the winter at least 3 guests before I'll change it.
bowwow- PLEASE tell me you're joking.
I always make the bed, and I've gotten complimented for it so I assumed it's the right thing to do.
But now I don't know.
I usually strip the sheets. And take them with me.
I thought you burn them.
We once had guests while we were away for Shabbos, and there was loads of traffic coming into town, we arrived at 3 AM and the guests stripped ALL the linen. We had to start making beds for ALL the kids and adults at 3 AM.
Best off ASK, if you can't make them neat and let them decide.
I kid you not.
Bowwow:
In the event you are not joking, I shall add myself to the critics, and say that you would probably be doing your guests a better service by just not having them over.
Most people I know find that pretty disgusting.
I did have my home checked for bedbugs so it is one less thing to worry about. Additionally, if my guests take a shower I do put the towels in the dryer before giving them to the next guests. I've never heard any complaints.
Zaidy78 seems to agree with Bowwow, as he had hoped to have used the same linen his guests used.
bowwow's having you all on
i sometimes prefer if my guest DONT strip the beds, because if im not washing it right away i prefer the room to look nice and made up. unless they are going to take the sheets down to the laundry room, i would prefer they stay on the bed until i am ready. when i am a guest, i always ask.
B'H there are many simchos in our neighborhood and we are constantly being asked to put people up. What's wrong with trying to save a little time and effort.
bowwow- because it's unsanitary. If you would tell your guests before that they were sleeping in the same sheets as 2 people before them, they would probably sleep on the floor.
Once my host told me that they don't change the sheets between guests. After I had already come and was stuck there.
I slept in my clothes, used my towel as a pillow, and whenever I was having trouble sleeping, got up and spat in the cholent (it was yontiff- no bishul issues.)
why was he making cholent for Y"T?
Popa: If it you were angry enough, it might even be muttar on Shabbos, because of Ein Bishul Achar Bishul. (At least according to the Rosh in Pesachim that hold one can be mekayem shitas R' Yehuda of Ein Biur Chometz Ela B'sreifa by eating, due to the Chom hativ'i hapnimi shebguf ha'adam.)
this is so interesting because i had my first at home shabbos and i had guests who made the bed again...maybe ill just leave it like that till the next time we have guests;))
I can't stand that my in laws take off the bottom sheet - to make it appear as if they stripped the linen, but not taking the blanket-cover off the blanket which is the "hard" part of removing the linen.
I always wonder- are they lazy not to completely strip beds, or what are they thinking?
bowwow - I really hope you are Joking here. If not, do you advise your guests to bring their own *CLEAN* linen?
Popa- Do you really think Starbucks doesn't reuse their cups or are you OK with it?:)
Real Brisker- It depends. If it is my own guest I will change the linen etc. If however it is someone I am putting up for someone else who is making a simcha my standards vary. If I am invited to the simcha or am given a nice hostess gift I'll use clean linen. If the ba'al simcha can't even invite me to a kiddush or give me a lousy candy dish I'll do whatever is easiest for me.
when i'm a guest at someone's house, i will make the beds. But if i'm a guest at my parents or in law, i will strip the beds and fold the blanket and linen so that its not a mess when you walk in.
The reason i dont strip the linen by strangers is because i notice that many blankets have stains on them from prior use. I think it'd be embarrassing to the host to walk in and see the stripped bed and their stained blanket there. Besides, as a guest, i wouldnt want to see those stains!
miritchka- this is why i only change the linen after a few guests, to save people from being ashamed. If I provide them with fresh linen and then they really mess them up, I will know exactly which guest it was. If however I only change the sheets after every few guests. i'll never know which guest it was that made the linen dirty or smell.
bowwow ur really making me nauseous!
many many years ago when i was in 12th grade bf sem our teachers were giving us some tips about being away from home and being guests for shabbos and that was #1 about striping the beds!
now that im a mother i would love that somebody would strip the bed so it would save me a few min especially if my kids doubled up over shabbos and now were taking there beds back
when i go away i usually strip the sheets fold it and then ask the person where would they like it on the bed or by the machine cuz if u ask them if u should strip it they feel funny saying yes but once u say its striped already they like thanks yes please bring them to the machine
zaidy 78 u would really sleep on guests linen so gross besides gross with germs and all bed bugs uch!!
bowwow - Why don't I belive you?
Ask the hostess what she prefers, but absent that, at least MAKE the bed. If it is a hi-riser, take off the bedding, fold it neatly, and put the bed back together if you know how to do it. The idea is to be less of a tircha on the hosts, as well as to show hakoras hatov.
I had boys sleep over by me for a school Shabbaton (their rebbie who knew my husband asked us to put three boys up). Not only did they make an unbelievable mess both in their room and in my adjacent den, they invited at least five friends to come back to my house and made an unholy racket, jumping off our furniture while we were trying to sleep. I came down to see what the noise was and was shocked at what I saw. They were NOT supposed to be in our house at that time of day at ALL. These were bar-mitzvah age boys, btw. I couldn't even say anything, because one of the boys is related through marriage to a close relative of mine, and it would be very awkward to tell them about his behavior. But I will think twice and three times before ever allowing such a sleepover again.
They had this argument in the Readers' Write a while back. Some hosts argued that it's a lack of gratitude not to strip the sheets. Some though it was horrible to strip the sheets. Others thought it tacky to ask. You really can't win. Better to stay home (or at Bowwow's house).
Oomis1105, great idea not to have any more guests. That'll teach 'em!
so if you are in the same time zone as bowwow, always suspect he's your host & strip the beds
bowwow, I may have possibly believed the bedding, but you ruined it by adding the towels bit.
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