January 31, 2013 at 10:06 pm #608027
Should people be saying Good Shabbos to those of the opposite gender?
January 31, 2013 at 10:09 pm #1010696
January 31, 2013 at 10:10 pm #1010697
deja vu so much deja vu here
January 31, 2013 at 10:11 pm #1010698
January 31, 2013 at 10:12 pm #1010699
January 31, 2013 at 10:13 pm #1010700
In some neighborhoods, if you even say good Shabbos to someone passing by, you get this disgusting dirty look, as if you just exited a treif restaurant.
You guys know what I am talking about….sure you do.
January 31, 2013 at 10:15 pm #1010701
The answer is it’s a machlokes haposters
(Perhaps the question should be how many threads were written about this topic in the past)
January 31, 2013 at 10:25 pm #1010702
I say Good Shabbos to everyone Jew* I pass in the street.
I also say Good Morning (or Afternoon or Evening, as appropriate) to every non-Jew I pass* in the street.
* With certain exceptions — if they’re engrossed in conversation, for example, I won’t interrupt.
January 31, 2013 at 10:27 pm #1010703
nonononononooooooooo please dont start this topic again…!!!
MODS please close this before we have another allout war between the “leftist modern shkotzim” and the “right-wing irrational fanatics”, which as we all know are the only two types of people in this forum.
January 31, 2013 at 11:37 pm #1010704
Ask your rav but i think that it shld b okay if yr justsaying good shbs and moving on. Out of town they do it but not in Brooklyn bec ppl in Brooklyn aren’t nice
February 1, 2013 at 12:08 am #1010705
Omgggg I am officially done. Ask your Rav? If you honestly can’t decide for yourself then just don’t say good shabbos. I feel like I am in a different world I really am so confused as to the thinking that goes into some of these threads. I’m so sorry if this is a mean post I just don’t understand. I get so frustrated. You are all here mingling with the opposite gender, and your spouses probably don’t know. I don’t care because I do talk to people of the opposite gender in real life wether it be for work or some other social function, but I know that many of you don’t. You hate people that don’t serve Hashem the exact same way as you think they should, and no one can wipe their own nose without asking a Rav’s permission. Oyyyy I do enjoy a lot about this site besides the great news articles but, I think the time may have come.
February 1, 2013 at 1:38 am #1010706
I had a teacher in school(a man) who told us that on sunny shabbos afternoons he would go for walks and often would pass high school girls. He would say ‘good shabbos’ but the girls would completely ignore him and walk right past. He would turn around and yell ‘I said good shabbos!’ prompting the girls to sheepishly turn around and mumble good shabbos.
It is plain rude to ignore someone when they speak to you.
How would you feel if you greeted someone and they acted as if you didn’t exist? And how much more so would it hurt if that person was a relative of yours, a cousin or great aunt? If one of your Jewish brothers or sisters wishes you a good shabbos it is only polite to respond in kind.
Greet everyone(boy or girl)with a pleasant smile and friendly hello. Such a simple thing will get you very far in life and make you well liked by others.
February 1, 2013 at 1:47 am #1010707
That yelling teacher needs medication.
Greeting girls on the street is the old fashioned method of flirting.
February 1, 2013 at 2:01 am #1010708
There is no problem not saying good Shabbos to a passerby if you know her (for a man). The issue arises if it is a total stranger. If you said “Gut Shabbos” to everyone you pass in a place like Boro Park you would end up greeting so many people you wouldn’t get to walk anywhere. In smaller cities most people assume they know, or should know everyone, and everyone tends to greet all Jewish passerbys since it would be insulting not to pretend you know them.
February 1, 2013 at 2:02 am #1010709
Politeness in our society is so far gone that holding a door for someone or offering to carry bags for them is considered ‘flirting’.
Obviously it depends where you are. If you are in the heart of willaimsburg then you should not stop and greet everyone as it is not the custom of the place but saying good shabbos to someone when you pass them on the street is proper manners and good middos.
February 1, 2013 at 2:44 am #1010710
February 1, 2013 at 2:49 am #1010711
Flirting in our society has become so routine, that all too often people are easily blinded by it.
February 1, 2013 at 3:22 am #1010712
luna- ”it is plain rude to ignore someone when they speak to you.” i do not greet men with good shabbos personally. However, if he initiates the greeting, i do respond in kind though!
Feel free to take me to task on this part, but i dont greet strangers during the week, whether male or female. I will sometimes smile or nod, but thats it. Shabbos is my exception in ‘don’t talk to strangers’, so i greet females, but not males or non-jews. Maybe thats just my comfort level though.
February 1, 2013 at 3:56 am #1010713
Morahrach- WHY DOES EERY THREAD HAVE TO B ABOUT APPROPIATE/OFF TOPIC ENOUGH SO U DPNT LIKE IT DON’T READ THE COFFEE ROOM (u shunt b proud that u talk to opposite gender)
******everyone please don’t comment about what she said let’s try to stay on topic otherise it ends up beingthe same thing….get into a “heated” argument/discussion and then thread closes so forget it ignore this response STAY ON TOPIC!!*********
(mods please let this thru)
February 1, 2013 at 4:02 am #1010714
Thelitvishe…- not true just saying a simple good shbs (don’t need to smile or hi good shbs..) and walking away just GOOD SHABBOS that’s it thts fine everywhere besides in Brooklyn ppl greet/ whish eachother…..was in Scranton with skwl for shbs not one person young (4+) or old (80…) ddnt say good shbs! Such a kiddush Hashem goyim stopped teacher and commented on e/o being nice to each other and “greeting” eachother even if u dont know them KIDDUSH HASHEM!!! ur accomplishing at least 2 mitzvos 1) saying good shbs 2) kiddush Hashem
February 1, 2013 at 4:03 am #1010715
i think everyone shud say a polite good shabbos nothin too major bt no yeshiva guys sayin 2 hs girls… bt 40 yr old men to 15 yr old girls- ttly fine just keep it short and polite and refined..
February 1, 2013 at 4:05 am #1010716
and omg of course grown up ladies shud say good shabbos 2 girls and other ladies.. doesnt matter if they x know them..
February 1, 2013 at 4:50 am #1010717
Even a yeshivah(ish) boy can just say good shbs donteven have to look up
Mods why didn’t u let my other thing go in for morahrach please do
February 1, 2013 at 5:19 am #1010718
Hevei makdim es kol heodom b’Shalom, (especially on Shabbos when we are all outside together).
February 1, 2013 at 5:19 am #1010719
ok, so you dont have to initiate the “good shabbos” if you dont want to, but in boro park, if you say good shabbos to someone, they comletely ignore you! me and my friend were walking, and 1 out of 16 people replied!
February 1, 2013 at 5:24 am #1010720
Wow, you actually said it to 16 people even after you saw 15 wouldn’t respond??
February 1, 2013 at 5:42 am #1010721
Obviously not, as she said she said “Good Shabbos” to sixteen people – not thirty-one.
February 1, 2013 at 5:44 am #1010722
yup. my friend lives in flatbush,and there evryone replies, so she was so shocked, she kept on trying, just to make sure
February 1, 2013 at 5:47 am #1010723
oneofmany, whats thats supposed to mean? so what that it wasnt 31>
February 1, 2013 at 5:48 am #1010724
Okay, that makes all the difference.
February 1, 2013 at 6:01 am #1010726
even the guys, i mean, when a girl says good shabbos, is it better to ignore them and make a chilul hashem, or reply, and people might think bad about you for talking to a girl? i think the latter is better
February 1, 2013 at 6:02 am #1010727
So Yenta here’s the solution: If you’re a flirter, you cannot say Good Shobbos to the opposite gender. If you don’t, then we all give you permission.
February 1, 2013 at 6:09 am #1010728
and what you said about flirting litveshe, if the young israel guys say good shabbos, THEN is when a girl shouldnt reply. that is flirting.when you walk by a group of them and they all laugh and whistle and call out good shabbos. that is the time when you dont reply
February 1, 2013 at 6:09 am #1010729
I was commenting on the poor logical structure of Joseph’s post.
February 1, 2013 at 6:22 pm #1010733
Supreme, did I say I’m proud I speak to the opposite gender, or did I say for work etc I do? Oy ill just send a note to my boss/accountant/doctor/parents of my students that a man in the coffee room who loves talking I girls on the computer told me I can no longer speak to you. That’s the ticket!
February 1, 2013 at 6:48 pm #1010734
In my opinion, it depends on the community you’re in. In some communities they consider it flirting, in some communities that’s the norm. Remember, Bruia chastised a Tanna for speaking to her two extra words. So in a community where it’s not done, they may consider it flirting. In a community where it’s done, to not do so would be snobbing, rude. That’s my opinion.
February 1, 2013 at 6:55 pm #1010735
In some communities bantering and joking with the opposite gender might not be considered flirting. In other communities holding hands might not be considered flirting. And in other communities giving a hug or kiss on the cheek might not be considered flirting.
February 1, 2013 at 7:01 pm #1010736
I only say it to women, but I say it to all women, and wish non-Jewish women a good day.
I will respond if a man wishes me Good Shabbos.
This is not flirting, it’s being polite.
February 1, 2013 at 7:08 pm #1010737
If you’re the type of person who doesn’t want to talk with the opposite gender the don’t go up to people and initiate a conversation but if you are walking and someone wishes you a good shabbos you shouldn’t ignore them and act like they are invisible. It might really hurt the other person (Especially if they are more modern and don’t fully understand why you won’t reply)
I feel that when wishing someone a good shabbos is like saying “I hope you have a good shabbos full of rest and inspiration and can recharge for the week ahead” (in just fewer words) why would you ignore a bracha like that(even if from the opposite gender)?
February 1, 2013 at 7:15 pm #1010738
There is a big difference between saying good shabbos and hugging and kissing.
But I agree dont do it in Borough Park, nobody will answer back even if they are the same gender as you
February 1, 2013 at 7:31 pm #1010739
ZD, Kindly don’t besmirch an entire community. I’ve greeted and been greeted to in the past, in BP. (I’m not in BP proper, as I’ve mentioned numerous times). I intend to test you out again, IY”H in a few hours.
February 1, 2013 at 7:41 pm #1010740
zk- i’ll second that. I wish women in boro park good shabbos and have gotten some silence, and many wishes back.
But no, dont wish gut shabbos to the opposite gender in bp. I think this is a safe example of where minhag hamakom may come into play 🙂
February 3, 2013 at 2:27 am #1010741
Just fyi, I live in BP and said Good Shabbos to everyone I passed, granted I only walked a block and a half to Shul this Shabbos, but even though I look “litvish” in that I wear a bend down and no beard, (NO BEARD?! YES, NO BEARD) I received a good Shabbos back from EVERYONE. You should know that most people will not be the first to say the good Shabbos, but if you say good Shabbos I think 99.99% will respond with a gut shabbos.
February 3, 2013 at 2:47 am #1010742
WIY: By everyone, do you include girls? Because I’d be surprised if they responded in BP. There is exactly one man on my block who says Good Shabbos to girls (he’s a mechanech and a real character) and I’m like the only person who responds.
February 3, 2013 at 2:55 am #1010743
I once tried it as well, and every adult answered “good Shabbos” as well as most kids (the ones who didn’t just seemed shy, not impolite). I concluded that the stereotype is probably wrong.
February 3, 2013 at 2:55 am #1010744
Remember, Bruia chastised a Tanna for speaking to her two extra words. “
I believe (correct me if I am wrong) that the person Bruriah thus chastised was himself a vocal proponent of the idea of not speaking too much to a woman. She was likely giving him some sarcastic mussar.
It is NOT flirting or conversation with the opposite gender to day Good Shabbos as you walk by. If you stopped and continued the conversation, it possibly could be construed as such, if that is what one insists on thinking. But certainly not so, in passing.
February 3, 2013 at 3:03 am #1010745
I am not aware of any opinion which disputes “al tarbeh sichah.”
February 3, 2013 at 3:15 am #1010746
Oomis, honestly I don’t know about your first statement.
About your second one, again, I’ll just posit that it matters where one finds oneself. In one community it’s just proper to do so, rude not to. In another it’s flirting, an extra word or attention extended to the opposite gender.
If I recall, there’s a woman in the Torah named “Shlomis bas Divri”, I think Chazal say she was accustomed to greeting all (even men) in the street “Shalom alach, Shalom alach”. It didn’t do good for her.
February 3, 2013 at 4:05 am #1010747
I don’t say good Shabbos to girls however I am a mentch and would respond to a girl who wished me a good Shabbos. But it doesn’t happen in borough park lol.
February 3, 2013 at 4:15 am #1010748
WIY: I’m sure it doesn’t.
The question is, what to do when tznius and politeness seem to conflict?
February 3, 2013 at 5:35 am #1010750
All I know is that whenever I was greeted with a “gut shabbos” from a guy who was either an older teen or 20’s, it wasn’t coming from just… ahavas yisroel. Let’s put it that way.
But if you’re not referring to people close in age like that, It should be fine.
But either way, don’t ignore! You don’t have to say Gut Shabbos to everyone, but if someone greeted you, you should greet them back. THAT’s where politeness comes in.
February 3, 2013 at 7:37 am #1010751
WIY, maybe they think you’re OTD because you wear a bend down and no beard so they were answering politely to be mekarev you. ^_^
February 3, 2013 at 1:43 pm #1010752
It’s all relative. Here in the 5 Towns “good shabbos or Shabbat shalom” is expressed reflexively, whereas in other communities it can result in ex communication.
February 3, 2013 at 2:13 pm #1010753
Wasn’t it Rabbi Akiva who said one should be the first to greet everyone. (not sure if it was him or not but some huge Gadol said it). Doesnt that mean we should say good shabbos/good morning to everyone since Rabbi Akiva said one should be the first one to greet everyone. Do you think he meant to only greet someone first if they are of the same gender and Jewish?? He meant everyone because in his day our religion wasn’t as judgmental. People actually loved their neighbor like themselves.
February 3, 2013 at 2:30 pm #1010754
T613 – what about if you just smile and nod your head. Would that be a happy medium?
February 3, 2013 at 4:21 pm #1010755
Actually, he meant the same gender, regardless if Jewish. If I remember correctly, afilu nachri bshuk, even a non-Jew in the street. It does not say the same about a woman. Please read my earlier posts. I’d not like to get into arguments. (It bode me no good previously). I will ??”? not be drawn into machlokes, argument, bickering etc. It’s not what I’m here for.
Regarding your statement about our religion now being “judgmental”, kindly remember the sheer hatred Rabbi Akiva had, when yet unlearned, towards Talmidei Chachamim. Do you begin to fathom the Kedushah that permeated our nation then? How every single issue was weighed and analyzed from all angles before taking action. Our code of laws nowadays is but an echo of the laws and customs followed in the era of the the Tanaaim, Bais Hamikdash.
They sure were ohev as habrios umkarvon ltorah (take a peek at Avos), but it definitely was not a free-for-all, anything-goes, friendship, brotherhood society. No. Not at all.
February 3, 2013 at 5:37 pm #1010756
It says to be first to give Shalom. Since we don’t expect someone from the other side of the Mechitza to give you Shalom, as it says Ein Sho’alin Bishlom…, there is no issue of being first.
February 3, 2013 at 5:53 pm #1010757
Its not a lack of Tznius if a girl says gut shabbos to the guy unless it is obvious that she has ulterior motives.
February 3, 2013 at 8:41 pm #1010758
Zeeskite, I need you to show me proof that Rabbi Akiva was talking about saying hi to the same gender only. Please show me something that says so.
February 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm #1010759
mitzvah min hamuvchar to davka greet the opposite gender, enter into a philosophical discussion with him/her, share a great dvar torah, and invite them over somethime.
February 4, 2013 at 12:22 pm #1010760
I noticed that everyone is ignoring zeeskite’s mention of Shlomis bas Divri, so I figured I’d mention it again.
Shlomis bas Divri.
February 4, 2013 at 5:15 pm #1010761
yes! I think its a beautiful thing to do and a kiddush hashem!
February 4, 2013 at 7:20 pm #1010762
“Shlomis bas Divri.”
I was taught it was Beruriah, wife of Rabbi Meir.
February 4, 2013 at 7:55 pm #1010763
Shlomis Bas Divri is the one who is criticized for greeting men. Bruria is the one who told a Tana off for not speaking in shorter sentences.
The Gemara in Keddushin also says that EIn Sho’alim Bishlom Isha, you don’t send regards even through her husband. (Technically, you might be able to differentiate between regards and asking how are you, and merely saying Good Shabbos especially where it would be an accepted social norm.)
March 31, 2014 at 5:49 am #1010764
I. M. ShluffinMember
It’s nice to be nice. In my community, everyone greets each other (maybe cus we all know each other). There’s never a problem of girls greeting bachurim, cus they’re always on opposite sides of the street. (We’re super-tznius here.)
I also experimented saying Good Shabbos in other cities – I felt so happy when there were actually one or two people who answered me!
Good Shabbos, everyone! (It’s actually Sunday – don’t judge me)
I dare you to answer.
April 1, 2014 at 10:19 pm #1010765
out of town: say good shabbos
anywhere in Brooklyn: don’t say good shabbos (you won’t get a shidduch; in brooklyn you can only talk to the opposite gender if nobody is watching
5 towns: say good shabbos
Queens: say Good shabbos
everywhere else: say good shabbos
say good shabbos everywhere except for Brooklyn (#FlatbushFakers)
April 2, 2014 at 1:46 am #1010766
No, what you should do is carry a sign that says “Good shabbos” on it. Then it’s clear that you’re saying good shabbos to the world, not flirting.
April 2, 2014 at 5:10 am #1010767
April 2, 2014 at 11:49 am #1010768
I have two stories to share. One happened with a couples of out-of-town girls who were in Brooklyn for Shabbos. Passing a couple of Yeshivah Bachurim, one called out, “Good Shabbos!” When she received no response, she called out in a louder voice, “Good Shabbos!!” When there was still no response forthcoming, she called out (now even farther away), “I’M SORRY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE JEWISH!” Note that there was no sarcasm involved.
The second was related to me by an acquaintance of mine. He and his wife have lived in Rechavia for decades. When they first got there, his wife complained to him about the unfriendly feeling that she had there. “With the exception of one old man who always wishes me “Good morning”, everybody just ignores me!” A few days later, she said to her husband, “There’s the man who always greets me!” It was Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach ZTZ”L.
April 2, 2014 at 12:01 pm #1010769
when this symbol # is used on YWN is it called a kugeltag?
April 2, 2014 at 12:41 pm #1010770
rebyid, the problem with your solution is that in Flatbush where you have to use a sign as opposed to saying “Good Shabbos” those people don’t carry so you’ll be ostracized for carrying in Flatbush anyway. In Boro Park at least, many people do hold of the eruv. I grew up in BP and did say Good Shabbos and still got married. BTW, there are more people like me in Brooklyn than you think.
April 2, 2014 at 1:18 pm #1010771
no longer need seminaryMember
if you are of age 16 up you shouldnt say gut shabbos to someone of the opposite gender until you are married
April 2, 2014 at 2:48 pm #1010772
I don’t know whats wrong with you people. I say Good Morning to people in the morning on the street whether I know them or not (no matter what gender), and I Gut Shabbos to people (no matter what gender). Yes, I live in Flatbush!
April 2, 2014 at 2:50 pm #1010773
ED IT ORMember
April 2, 2014 at 4:06 pm #1010774
lol ty cb glad someone got it.
April 2, 2014 at 4:24 pm #1010775
The Gemara Kesuvos already gave the answer to all such moral dilemmas:–
???? ??? ???? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ??? ?? ????? ?????? ?????? ???? ??? ?? ??. V’dok. (??? ????? from R’ Shlomo Zalman zt”l before!)
Which means: The Gemara brings a story about R’ Acha who used to pick up Kallas and dance with her on his shoulders [which is obviously pritzus in our circles]. The Rabbanan asked him if they could do the same, to which he answered “If she is compared to you like a plank of wood , then go ahead. If not, then don’t!”
The same pretty much sums up all such dilemmas. If you feel, unlike most normal adolescent males, that your casual contact with women does not cause impure thoughts, then it is the most decent thing to do to greet (unless of course SHE will feel uncomfortable, which is sort of counterproductive). However, the rest of us humans should not.
(Dunno if I am generalizing too much or if its just me being honest!)
April 2, 2014 at 4:27 pm #1010776
ok i hope this is worth it. es chatzaai ani mazkir hayom. when i was younger me and the boys went for shabbos walks and ya wed love to bump into girls and say good shabbos. lame but true. the ones that were makdim shalom were obviously looking for trouble.
lmayseh whats pshat so many chassidim (male) dont say (or respond) good shabbos? kalteh chassidim nowadays
btw its PASSERSBY
April 2, 2014 at 5:29 pm #1010777
Epis: I wrote it once, I’ll write it once again. Shlomis bas Divrie also did it. She greeted people of both genders at all occasions, as Chazal tell us. “Shalom alach, Shalom alach”. Much to her undoing. She too did not see anything wrong – being friendly, cordial, social, “proper etiquette”, “gemutlach”. That was her inner flaw that brought her to no good…. Chazal suggest otherwise.
We follow Chazal who tell us not to, ??? ?????? ????? ???, and many other sayings.. ????? ???? ?”?…
So in a place where it’s the norm, it’s not flirting (I’d maybe think there can be a difference between a woman engaging and a man – maybe a woman engaging is too pritzus – like Shlomis did, again, just maybe), otherwise it should not be done.
April 2, 2014 at 7:24 pm #1010778
I wasn’t exactly serious. I meant it as an extremist solution.
April 2, 2014 at 9:14 pm #1010779
think about it…. whoever started this “wishing good Shabbos” its just so nice that Jewish people from all over the world greet each other like this
April 2, 2014 at 10:55 pm #1010780
Little Froggie, So your telling me what I do is pretzus? (BTW I am a male)
April 2, 2014 at 11:36 pm #1010781
rav avigdor miller zt”l said boys shouldn’t need to look or talk to a girl ever! (unless immediate family or obviously your spouse)
April 3, 2014 at 2:08 am #1010782
Epis, ask your local Halachiknician, Madrich, qualified Rav, Dayan, Rosh Yeshiva, Rebbe, Mashgiach. Contrary to popular belief, I have NO qualifications, recommendations, certifications of any sort (other than the license to drive a car and to live married life). I cannot tell ANYONE what to do.
April 3, 2014 at 3:36 am #1010783
Little Froggie, let me tell you a story. I was walking to shachris one morning, as I passed someone I smiled at him and said “Good Morning”, and we both went our merry way. The next morning I saw the same person, he told me that his day began sour and when I told him Good Morning it lasted the entire day and that is how he got through his day. So to all those people who do smile at someone they pass on the street & greet them with a good morning, you may be saving the day for that person, whether they are male or female.
April 3, 2014 at 5:20 am #1010784
Chazal made statements about touching people of the opposite gender, I don’t think that they made statements about not saying good shabbos to the opposite gender.
April 3, 2014 at 12:13 pm #1010785
no longer need seminaryMember
epis. that is a very nice story however noone has ever said that to me and i say hi to everyone.
April 3, 2014 at 12:39 pm #1010786
Utah — “Chazal made statements… I don’t think that they made statements about not saying Good Shabbos to the opposite gender”
Incorrect. Chazal definitely did make such statements, as quoted by posters before – ??? ?????? ????? ??? ???. A simple transalation of this is that a man is prohibited from “asking peace” – aka greeting – a woman. (Halevi before explained that it is not necessarily the intention of the words, but the statement is there to debate).
Anyways, “#takingbeingfrumtofar” is a bit harsh – not everything Chazal had to say explicitly; the Shulchan Aruch says “Hisrachek min Hanoshim” — distance yourselves from women. The Gemara countrless times numerates the issurim of having too much contact with the opposite gender. Whether greeting is specifically ossur is probably irrelevant; if it causes Hirhurim, it is Ossur.
April 3, 2014 at 6:08 pm #1010787
Utah – read on. You’ll get to it.
Actually not touching is not from Chazal, it’s from the Torah (Bible), ?? ?????. Chazal made numerous statements about engaging opposite gender in conversation, idle chatter etc. The place is not here. Look up in Shulchan Aruch, ask your local qualified posek (as I wrote).
Just one note here, I think the Rambam who generally states to take the mean, middle, center path regarding all Middos and actions, deviates here regarding the separation of sexes and says “???? ???? ???? ?????? ?? ?????” (if I remember correctly). A person should distance himself EXCEEDINGLY from women.
That is being frum. (Chazal knew people’s inclination, they knew where EXTREME caution is needed.)
April 4, 2014 at 8:44 pm #1010788
I always do to women. They only sometimes respond. (I live in a neighborhood of Brooklyn expats.)
Men it depends. If they’re walking with women then of course. If not, it depends which neighborhood I’m in. In my neighborhood, which is very yeshivish, I won’t unless they say it first, and generally they only say it first if they know me (friends of my dad’s, etc). It doesn’t necessarily come up, of course- I’ve often walked down the block and seen a guy cross the street when he saw me approach. Not sure whether to be offended or flattered… 🙂
I don’t think that saying good Shabbos is INHERENTLY flirting. I will definitely concede that in many cases it can be (walking a few shabbosim back with a couple of friends who were prettier than I am, we got a good Shabbos from them that was definitely not just politeness and concern for our well-being…), but it can also just be politeness, which seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur.
April 6, 2014 at 4:02 pm #1010789
I said Good Shabbos to a total of 4 Women This Week!
April 6, 2014 at 5:40 pm #1010790
…a total of 4 women.. Wonder how you got that TOTAL. (1.25 + 1.25 + 1.5, or maybe 3 x 1.3333 and round off the last woman)
April 6, 2014 at 6:11 pm #1010791
April 6, 2014 at 6:11 pm #1010792
Just passing by- oh, good Shabbos!
April 6, 2014 at 9:15 pm #1010793
April 6, 2014 at 11:55 pm #1010794
Little Frogie, Maybe 4*1=4 or 1+1+1+1=4 or the derivative of 4x=4
April 7, 2014 at 1:25 am #1010795
Maybe if boys and girls would say Good Shabbos to each other there would not be a Shidduch crisis!!!!!
April 7, 2014 at 2:26 am #1010796
@little Froggie I did not know that the torah is called the bible. Thank you so much for clarifying it for me.
Ok it seems that I was wrong about my sources but based on the community I was raised in, It is common for people to say good shabbos to people of the opposite gender. That is what is considered polite. Maybe in your communities this is not the norm. However I am going to trust the Rabbis and the community I am from.
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