shoe confiscation in schools – is it fair

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  • #1382735
    goldersgreener
    Participant

    When i was a child in GG shoe confiscation was used as a form of quasi corporal punishment. The menahel used it for many many things, including latecoming, dress code violations, chutza and fighting. The basic school policy was that all children need to leave the building for recess. [the times it happened to me were always raining so i got away with that one.] Is it a fair punishment?

    #1382755
    Joseph
    Participant

    Very fair.

    #1382758
    The little I know
    Participant

    The very concept of punishment in yeshivos evokes feelings of disgust and dread. It is alarming that there are typically pages and pages of written (or unwritten) policy about how to punish, while rewards or individual attention to assist and guide are last on the list. This is not how Gedolei Yisroel address the subject of chinuch. There are a few shelves of seforim on the subject, all derived from Torah sources only, and NONE of them advance the approach of bullying kids into compliance. Before anyone attacks me with the posuk of חושך שבטו, I ask that these seforim are consulted first. I am far more comfortable with taking a strong stand against the stupid, rejecting practices of today’s generation (all the menahalim that advocate this) than the Gedolei Yisroel who openly spoke against it.

    Just a few references from seforim that are contemporary. There are seforim on chinuch from Rav Yitzchol Zilberstein shlit”a, Rav Aharon Friedman shlit”a, the Nesivos Sholom ZT”L, Rav Shlomo Brevda ZT”L, and countless other seforim of likutim from generations of Gedolei Yisroel. After perusing these, comment to challenge me.

    I don’t know about the shoe thing, but the attitude towards talmidim is stinky, and speaks volumes about the general approach to chinuch.

    #1382772
    Joseph
    Participant

    From Tanach through Shulchan Aruch and on, the Seforim say a component of chinuch is corporal punishment.

    #1382811
    Chortkov
    Participant

    By us in golders Green the PH school had a much better and simpler idea. they would confiscate shoes for a school day.

    it wasnt unpleasant to administer, caused no long term harm, was a brilliant deterrent, and a child without whoes is unlikely to pick a fight or leave school gorunds without permision.”

    https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/what-defines-a-messed-up-school

    I still remember your wifes reaction when your son came home from school in socks!

    #1382862
    apushatayid
    Participant

    the punishment was that the child had to go out to recess without shoes?

    #1382870
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1382905
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1382889
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1382931
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1382933
    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    And these abusive schools have no shame shnorring from you later on when your on your own

    #1382946
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I am not going to discuss if he Halcha allows it or not, However shaming someone like that is not likely to give people a positive feeling towards yiddishkeit and children subject to this punishment might leave.

    #1382945
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1382874
    Chortkov
    Participant
    #1383038
    catch yourself
    Participant

    TLIK, you paint with far too broad a brush.

    Also, your reference to “today’s generation” is surprising, since, as a rule, today’s Mechanchim are very warm and encouraging (If anything, the culture of prizes and rewards has gone too far, but that’s another discussion). In general, today’s Mechanchim are trained to minimize punitive measures, and, when they are necessary, to implement them in a way which does not jeopardize their relationship with their students.

    #1383748
    The little I know
    Participant

    Joseph:

    You’re trolling. You are absolutely not speaking from a position of knowledge. חושך שבטו is the basis for any discussion about corporal punishment. That is a posuk in Mishlei. Can you finish that posuk without looking it up? Most mechanchim and menahalim can’t either. Let’s just stare at this first half of the posuk for a moment. Does it suggest hitting? That, my friend, is actually מגלה פנים בתורה שלא כהלכה. It refers to the “shevet” as a last resort, never a לכתחלה. Next, your reference to Tanach and Talmud are similarly inaccurate. Moreover, the purpose of any form of discipline is to teach, never to punish. Do these forms of discipline work to engage the talmid or do they reject? Today, the metziyus is that they reject. And our leaders for the past several generations have stated so consistently. The Brisker Rov stated that the first potch can be permitted under only very limited specific circumstances. The second potch is categorically ossur, as it is חובל בחבירו. The rage of the rebbe is not an excuse at all. The first potch can never be delivered out of anger.

    Next – humiliation is NEVER permitted as a form of discipline. It crushes; it does not teach. No rebbe is hired to crush talmidim. If a yeshiva were to hire a rebbe to crush talmidim, I would make that public so quickly that it would need to close down. Have you ever met a rebbe that apologized to a talmid for shaming him? It might happen, but far less than 50% of the time. That is a black eye for chinuch, that has become numb to the dignity of the talmidim. Oh, you may ask, why should a rebbe respect a talmid? Isn’t the direction of respect from talmid to rebbe? If you don’t mind discovering the stupidity of this question, just cruise on over to Pirkei Avos 4:12.

    Lastly, what makes punishment unreasonable is not the magnitude of it, but whether it teaches or punishes. Punishment has no place in chinuch. That is reserved for a court, where there is a prosecution and a defense, with an unbiased psak. Consequences in yeshiva MUST be educational to fill the mandate of the yeshiva. Otherwise, it borders on רשעות and is good reason why the menahalim of such institutions should change to another career. Any form of punishment is not part of chinuch, but of control. What is the true mission?

    #1383142
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Taking shoes is worse than hitting.

    #1383923
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “is it fair”

    If it applied equally to all, it is fair. Rather, you should ask; is it appropriate.

    #1383968
    Joseph
    Participant

    TLIK, you’ve made it abundantly clear over the years with your numerous comments on this issue that you posses a visceral animosity towards mechanchim, menahalim and yeshivos in general. And to put the cherry on the top you always attribute your personal opinions to anonymous rabbonim who you refuse to name and nameless seforim you cannot cite.

    #1384195
    The little I know
    Participant

    Joseph:

    You want citations. Here you have them. And I do not have animosity towards yeshivos. I just wish they would do their job.

    שכר והענשה בחינוך – הרב מאיר מונק – בני ברק תשמ”ה

    ארחות אהרן – משנת החינוך – הרב אהרן מפינסק קרלין – ירושלים תשס”ח

    זריעה ובנין בחינוך – הרב שלמה וולבה – ירושלים תשנ”ו

    כבדהו וחנכהו – הרב אהרן פריעדמאן – ירושלים תשס”ב

    לחנך בשמחה – הרב יצחק זילברשטיין – בני ברק תשע”ד

    טיב החינוך – הרב גמליאל רבינוביץ – ירושלים תשע”ב

    מסורת החינוך – הרב אלעזר מנחם מן שך – בני ברק תשס”ה

    חנוך לנער – הרב יוסף מגיד – א”י תשע”ה

    מלאכת ה’ על הלכות מלמדים – הרב ישראל יוסף ברונשטיין – ירושלים תשס”א

    נתיבות שלום – אדמו”ר מסלונים – ירושלים תשנ”א

    החינוך המיוחד בראי היהדות – הרב יואל שווארץ – ירושלים תשנ”ו

    מעדני המלך – הרב עובדיה יוסף – א”י תשע”ו

    לחנך – הרב אליהו שלום ברקוביץ – א”י תשע”ב

    There are also quite a few seforim that are ליקוטים in which there are countless quotes from many of the Gedolei Yisroel of recent generations. This short list here is not a library collection that is simply copied and pasted here. It is a sampling of the seforim that I have used, mostly cover to cover, and have reached opinions based on the guidance of these holy resources. If you have some to share that “compete”, and brandish the whip as an essential part of chinuch, please share, and we can volley some educated dialogue. In any case, forms of chinuch that are not effective, regardless of what it says in any seforim, become problematic. Shlomo Hamelech gave perfect direction in telling us חנוך לנער על פי דרכו. This can mean many things. Without doubt, if a child is not amenable to accept the “chinuch” of the potch (or other form of discipline), then it is not chinuch for this child and should not be administered. What works is determned by how the child accepts it, not how the mechanech prefers to deliver it.

    #1384513
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    TLIK: I have looked in Mishlei and cannot find the words מגלה פנים בתורה שלא כהלכה. Please point me to perek and passuk.

    #1384260
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    TLIK: I was always taught that it was the passuk in Mishlei 13:24 that speaks about corporal punishment: חוֹשֵֹ֣ךְ שִׁ֖בְטוֹ שׂוֹנֵ֣א בְנ֑וֹ וְ֜אֹהֲב֗וֹ שִֽׁחֲר֥וֹ מוּסָֽר: He who holds back his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him early.
    Notice that “חושך שבטו” is the BEGINNING of the passuk.

    #1384740
    The little I know
    Participant

    iacisrmma:

    Mishlei does not say מגלה פנים בתורה שלא כהלכה. That is a mishna in Pirkei Avos 3:14. My statement is that Shlomo Hamelech gave us the guidance, and the clear translation is not to make the “shevet” the לכתחלה of chinuch. Rather, its complete absence is the problem. He did clearly guide us to use mussar – direction.

    I urge you to examine what our Baalei Mussar said in interpreting this posuk in the practical manner of its implementation. You may refer to any of the above references in my later comment. There is also a wonderful sefer that I omitted from the list: שלום בניך – הרב דוד לוי – ירושלים תשס”ז.

    Lastly, שחרו מוסר might refer to awakening him with mussar, not necessarily about early.

    #1384825
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    tlik: If you notice I didn’t question what you said or your interpretations of the seforim you mentioned above. I misread what you wrote which was “חושך שבטו is the basis for any discussion about corporal punishment. That is a posuk in Mishlei. Can you finish that posuk without looking it up? Most mechanchim and menahalim can’t either. Let’s just stare at this first half of the posuk for a moment. Does it suggest hitting? That, my friend, is actually מגלה פנים בתורה שלא כהלכה.” I didn’t realize you were now quoting from Pirkei Avos.

    #1395859
    goldersgreener
    Participant

    A pashute yid

    The default punishment was that the shoes were taken at the beginning of the school day and returned at the end.

    The school day included numerous recesses which boys were expected to leave the building, at the end of every recess a bell rang and there was a line up outside the main door with register and various anouncements, a couple of times a week the day included a sorts session ….

    #1813710
    RR44
    Participant

    Bumpety bump

    #1813730
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    I never heard this.

    #1813749
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    There is a Midrash לך רד כי שחת עמך – מרדות הם צריכים I saw an explanation somewhere that Moshe Rabbenu was told by Hashem that even though he is the most knowledgeable rebbi, we need someone strict who uses a stick. You are too soft for them.

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