Someone to whom you should consider sending mishloach manos (not kiruv/chesed)

Home Coffeeroom Yom Tov Purim Someone to whom you should consider sending mishloach manos (not kiruv/chesed)

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 86 total)
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  • #619442

    R4nd0m3x
    Participant

    Someone whom you would consider an enemy,

    or with whom you have gotten into a fight.

    This is a good opportunity to make peace.

    #1229524

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Nice! Other ideas are: not-Frum people, people who might not be getting from anyone else and bus drivers, etc.

    #1229525

    Joseph
    Participant

    rabbiofberlin.

    #1229526

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I’m still waiting for my peanut-butter cup mishloach manos from the CR. I’m expecting it to arrive on Purim.

    #1229527

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    I actually send to a direct political opponent (we ran against each other in the 2015 election).

    He happens to be Jewish, but not frum.

    #1229528

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    That was nice of you.

    #1229529

    Joseph
    Participant

    Bill Clinton and George W. Bush are friends.

    #1229530

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Maybe Jared Kushner can send Shalach Manot to Marc Mezvinsky (Chelsea Clintons Husband)

    #1229531

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I’m sure Ivanka will send to Chelsea since they are good friends.

    #1229532

    lightbrite
    Participant

    LU: Your MM is on its way 🙂

    #1229533

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    And I’m sure she will give her father.

    #1229534

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Thanks LB! Were you the one who came up with the idea of our having to tell the Mods our names just so you could send me MM? That was so nice of you!

    j/k – I only told them my first name. I figured it’s in my email address anyhow so it didn’t hurt to tell them (or whoever gets the profile info).

    #1229535

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    It just occurred to me that a lot of people have their last names in their email addresses, so they would have that info anyhow.

    #1229536

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Joseph……………

    Bill Clinton and George W. Bush both lived in my hometown of New Haven, CT.

    Bush and I were both baby boomers born at Grace New Haven Hospital.

    I met Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham when they were law students at Yale

    #1229537

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Mine is an email address from at least 12-13yo. Doesn’t have my name.

    #1229538

    Joseph
    Participant

    LB, how long ago did you get that address?

    #1229539

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    She said at least 12 -13 years. But why are you asking her?

    #1229540

    Joseph
    Participant
    #1229541

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    yo = years old.

    #1229542

    lightbrite
    Participant

    I’m sorry CR & Joseph. I was wrong. So far it seems that I opened the account in 2008, so 9 years ago.

    #1229543

    Joseph
    Participant

    And you were 12-13 yo then?

    #1229544

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Ooops!!! I meant “years ago”

    Wow… that’s a super fail on my part.

    Actually, I might have used “yo” when stating the date of revived threads.

    Thanks for the tochacha/correction

    #1229545

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    from at least 12-13yo. She said “at least” So we now know that she is at least 21 years old.. but we already knew that anyhow.

    #1229546

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I was also at least 12-13 years old when I got my email address. I don’t think anyone should be getting an email address before 12-13.

    #1229547

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Joseph already knows that I am not in my 20’s, so I think that he was just verifying that I was being honest.

    Appreciate that you pointed that out

    #1229548

    lightbrite
    Participant

    I had a few email addresses in my teens. I think that I used the other one prior to my CR address for much of my late teens to early 20’s.

    I made the switch when I wanted to make a company with the name of my gmail address.

    Later I switched to my real name, which sounds/looks more professional

    #1229549

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    I forgot to send my kiruv mishloach manos!

    #1229550

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Should I give mishloach manos to guys that I give rides to?

    #1229551

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    THAT WOULD BE AN AVEIRA AND NOT A MITZVAH!!!!!

    #1229552

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, why would it be an aveira and not a mitzvah? Maybe no one else is giving them mishloach manos?

    #1229553

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    According to halacha, a woman is not supposed to give to a man or a man to a woman (Rema Siman 695, Seif 4).

    #1229554

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Pritzus comes from too much chesed. A stork is called chasida in Loshon Hakodesh because she is very pritzusdik and chasida is from the loshon of chesed. An extreme of any middah can be bad.

    It’s beautiful that you want to do chesed, but any middah can be misused. No middah is inherently good or bad – it depends on the situation.

    #1229555

    mik5
    Participant

    The posuk says to send to a friend. If you send to an enemy, it is questionable if you are yotzi.

    Source: torah.org article on halachos of mishloach manos

    #1229556

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I never heard of that halacha before, but I am wondering if an enemy whom you are trying to befriend by sending mishloach manos would be different.

    #1229557

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, why is it not okay for a girl of marriageable age to have friends who are boys who have the potential to marry her? This past year I saw many girls and boys exchanging mishloach manos.

    #1229558

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    First of all, exchanging mishloach manos and being friends are two separate issues. There is a specific halacha regarding mishloach manos.

    There is also a separate halachic issue regarding being friends. If the friendship is for the purpose of seeing if this is someone you want to marry (in otherwords you are really dating the person but you are calling it “being friends”) then I would imagine that it MIGHT be permitted, but you would have to really be sure that it is for “toeles” purposes and that this is a guy who makes sense for you and whom you are SERIOUSLY considering marrying.

    Often, girls will fool themselves into thinking it’s for “toeles” when they really know that they are not seriously considering marrying the guy and/or that he is not a good match for her.

    #1229559

    RebYidd23
    Participant

    A lot of people have siblings of the opposite gender.

    #1229560

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, so according to you the guys I hang out with are okay because they have the potential to marry me?

    #1229561

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I didn’t say that at all. You are hearing what you want to hear.

    #1229562

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Rebshidduch: Hanging out with guys, plural is an issue for one thing.

    If you want to date one guy who has the qualities that you are looking for in a husband and he is serious about getting married, it would still be seeing one guy at a time.

    As far as I understand, after determining that this guy is not your husband, you would cease contact with him.

    #1229563

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Does giving mashloach manos to family members living in the same house count as being yotzeh?

    #1229564

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    lightbrite, exactly. So your saying that I can date one guy at a time even if he is my boyfriend and is planning on marrying me?

    #1229565

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Rebshidduch: Not exactly. I don’t even know what you mean by “boyfriend.”

    That word alone, at least in my world, is used to describe a guy that one has some physical relationship with, which according to halacha is assur.

    This is definitely a LOR question. At least I am unqualified to answer here.

    Would your LOR approve?

    #1229566

    Meno
    Participant

    What’s wrong with dating more than one guy at a time?

    Assuming you’re just dating to see if you would be compatible for marriage, I don’t a problem, as long as you can handle it.

    #1229567

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Some rabbis hold that one cannot fully invest in getting to know someone when they have a backburner option.

    One needs to think of this person as a person, individually.

    Meno: Also, rebshidduch may mean that she is hanging out with guys without any serious intention of marrying them.

    What you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.

    Likewise, I too need to be mindful of my words.

    Thank you because you brought up a much debated point in shidduchim.

    #1229568

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    lightbrite, I do not mean someone that you have physical contact with.

    #1229569

    Meno
    Participant

    What you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.

    You mean rebshidduch might listen to something I say?

    #1229570

    lightbrite
    Participant

    Rebshidduch: Thank you for clarifying 🙂

    Meno: Yes of course. Just want to make sure that nit doesn’t sound like you’re okaying an entourage of guys c”vs

    #1229571

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    lightbrite, (jokingly) I was planning on inviting a bunch of guys to hang out at my apartment.

    #1229572

    Meno
    Participant

    That’s hilarious

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