March 10, 2017 1:42 am at 1:42 am #619442
My name’s Randomex. What’s yours?Participant
Someone whom you would consider an enemy,
or with whom you have gotten into a fight.
This is a good opportunity to make peace.
March 10, 2017 1:44 am at 1:44 am #1229524
Nice! Other ideas are: not-Frum people, people who might not be getting from anyone else and bus drivers, etc.
March 10, 2017 1:50 am at 1:50 am #1229525
March 10, 2017 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1229526
I’m still waiting for my peanut-butter cup mishloach manos from the CR. I’m expecting it to arrive on Purim.
March 10, 2017 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1229527
I actually send to a direct political opponent (we ran against each other in the 2015 election).
He happens to be Jewish, but not frum.
March 10, 2017 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1229528
That was nice of you.
March 10, 2017 2:11 am at 2:11 am #1229529
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush are friends.
March 10, 2017 2:19 am at 2:19 am #1229530
Maybe Jared Kushner can send Shalach Manot to Marc Mezvinsky (Chelsea Clintons Husband)
March 10, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1229531
I’m sure Ivanka will send to Chelsea since they are good friends.
March 10, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1229532
LU: Your MM is on its way 🙂
March 10, 2017 2:25 am at 2:25 am #1229533
And I’m sure she will give her father.
March 10, 2017 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1229534
Thanks LB! Were you the one who came up with the idea of our having to tell the Mods our names just so you could send me MM? That was so nice of you!
j/k – I only told them my first name. I figured it’s in my email address anyhow so it didn’t hurt to tell them (or whoever gets the profile info).
March 10, 2017 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1229535
It just occurred to me that a lot of people have their last names in their email addresses, so they would have that info anyhow.
March 10, 2017 2:37 am at 2:37 am #1229536
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush both lived in my hometown of New Haven, CT.
Bush and I were both baby boomers born at Grace New Haven Hospital.
I met Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham when they were law students at Yale
March 10, 2017 2:43 am at 2:43 am #1229537
Mine is an email address from at least 12-13yo. Doesn’t have my name.
March 10, 2017 3:02 am at 3:02 am #1229538
LB, how long ago did you get that address?
March 10, 2017 3:11 am at 3:11 am #1229539
She said at least 12 -13 years. But why are you asking her?
March 10, 2017 3:12 am at 3:12 am #1229540
March 10, 2017 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1229541
yo = years old.
March 10, 2017 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1229542
I’m sorry CR & Joseph. I was wrong. So far it seems that I opened the account in 2008, so 9 years ago.
March 10, 2017 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1229543
And you were 12-13 yo then?
March 10, 2017 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1229544
Ooops!!! I meant “years ago”
Wow… that’s a super fail on my part.
Actually, I might have used “yo” when stating the date of revived threads.
Thanks for the tochacha/correction
March 10, 2017 3:17 am at 3:17 am #1229545
from at least 12-13yo. She said “at least” So we now know that she is at least 21 years old.. but we already knew that anyhow.
March 10, 2017 3:18 am at 3:18 am #1229546
I was also at least 12-13 years old when I got my email address. I don’t think anyone should be getting an email address before 12-13.
March 10, 2017 3:19 am at 3:19 am #1229547
Joseph already knows that I am not in my 20’s, so I think that he was just verifying that I was being honest.
Appreciate that you pointed that out
March 10, 2017 3:20 am at 3:20 am #1229548
I had a few email addresses in my teens. I think that I used the other one prior to my CR address for much of my late teens to early 20’s.
I made the switch when I wanted to make a company with the name of my gmail address.
Later I switched to my real name, which sounds/looks more professional
March 10, 2017 5:33 am at 5:33 am #1229549
I forgot to send my kiruv mishloach manos!
March 10, 2017 5:34 am at 5:34 am #1229550
Should I give mishloach manos to guys that I give rides to?
March 10, 2017 8:13 am at 8:13 am #1229551
THAT WOULD BE AN AVEIRA AND NOT A MITZVAH!!!!!
March 10, 2017 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #1229552
Lilmod, why would it be an aveira and not a mitzvah? Maybe no one else is giving them mishloach manos?
March 11, 2017 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1229553
According to halacha, a woman is not supposed to give to a man or a man to a woman (Rema Siman 695, Seif 4).
March 11, 2017 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #1229554
Pritzus comes from too much chesed. A stork is called chasida in Loshon Hakodesh because she is very pritzusdik and chasida is from the loshon of chesed. An extreme of any middah can be bad.
It’s beautiful that you want to do chesed, but any middah can be misused. No middah is inherently good or bad – it depends on the situation.
March 13, 2017 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #1229555
The posuk says to send to a friend. If you send to an enemy, it is questionable if you are yotzi.
Source: torah.org article on halachos of mishloach manos
March 13, 2017 11:34 pm at 11:34 pm #1229556
I never heard of that halacha before, but I am wondering if an enemy whom you are trying to befriend by sending mishloach manos would be different.
March 14, 2017 12:12 am at 12:12 am #1229557
Lilmod, why is it not okay for a girl of marriageable age to have friends who are boys who have the potential to marry her? This past year I saw many girls and boys exchanging mishloach manos.
March 14, 2017 12:20 am at 12:20 am #1229558
First of all, exchanging mishloach manos and being friends are two separate issues. There is a specific halacha regarding mishloach manos.
There is also a separate halachic issue regarding being friends. If the friendship is for the purpose of seeing if this is someone you want to marry (in otherwords you are really dating the person but you are calling it “being friends”) then I would imagine that it MIGHT be permitted, but you would have to really be sure that it is for “toeles” purposes and that this is a guy who makes sense for you and whom you are SERIOUSLY considering marrying.
Often, girls will fool themselves into thinking it’s for “toeles” when they really know that they are not seriously considering marrying the guy and/or that he is not a good match for her.
March 14, 2017 12:23 am at 12:23 am #1229559
A lot of people have siblings of the opposite gender.
March 14, 2017 1:16 am at 1:16 am #1229560
Lilmod, so according to you the guys I hang out with are okay because they have the potential to marry me?
March 14, 2017 1:20 am at 1:20 am #1229561
I didn’t say that at all. You are hearing what you want to hear.
March 14, 2017 1:44 am at 1:44 am #1229562
Rebshidduch: Hanging out with guys, plural is an issue for one thing.
If you want to date one guy who has the qualities that you are looking for in a husband and he is serious about getting married, it would still be seeing one guy at a time.
As far as I understand, after determining that this guy is not your husband, you would cease contact with him.
March 14, 2017 2:02 am at 2:02 am #1229563
Does giving mashloach manos to family members living in the same house count as being yotzeh?
March 14, 2017 2:35 am at 2:35 am #1229564
lightbrite, exactly. So your saying that I can date one guy at a time even if he is my boyfriend and is planning on marrying me?
March 14, 2017 2:59 am at 2:59 am #1229565
Rebshidduch: Not exactly. I don’t even know what you mean by “boyfriend.”
That word alone, at least in my world, is used to describe a guy that one has some physical relationship with, which according to halacha is assur.
This is definitely a LOR question. At least I am unqualified to answer here.
Would your LOR approve?
March 14, 2017 3:00 am at 3:00 am #1229566
What’s wrong with dating more than one guy at a time?
Assuming you’re just dating to see if you would be compatible for marriage, I don’t a problem, as long as you can handle it.
March 14, 2017 3:04 am at 3:04 am #1229567
Some rabbis hold that one cannot fully invest in getting to know someone when they have a backburner option.
One needs to think of this person as a person, individually.
Meno: Also, rebshidduch may mean that she is hanging out with guys without any serious intention of marrying them.
What you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.
Likewise, I too need to be mindful of my words.
Thank you because you brought up a much debated point in shidduchim.
March 14, 2017 3:05 am at 3:05 am #1229568
lightbrite, I do not mean someone that you have physical contact with.
March 14, 2017 3:07 am at 3:07 am #1229569
What you say has big influence, so I hope that you consider that.
You mean rebshidduch might listen to something I say?
March 14, 2017 4:12 am at 4:12 am #1229570
Rebshidduch: Thank you for clarifying 🙂
Meno: Yes of course. Just want to make sure that nit doesn’t sound like you’re okaying an entourage of guys c”vs
March 14, 2017 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #1229571
lightbrite, (jokingly) I was planning on inviting a bunch of guys to hang out at my apartment.
March 14, 2017 4:45 pm at 4:45 pm #1229572
March 14, 2017 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1229573
March 14, 2017 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #1229574
LB – I’m super-impressed! You’re doing a much better job of answering than I could have! Shkoyach!!
Meno – never underestimate your influence on others! (Most people do and I have a feeling you might in particular).
March 15, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1229575
Lilmod, is it okay halachically in order to not make me feel bad to hang out with boys and not make me feel embarrassed that other girls have husbands and I do not?
March 15, 2017 2:28 am at 2:28 am #1229576
rebshidduch – sorry but your question was not phrased accurately so I don’t understand it. Can you try again?
Is this what you meant: “Is it okay halachically for me to hang out with boys because it will help me to not feel bad as well as to not feel embarrased about the fact that I am single?”
March 15, 2017 3:08 am at 3:08 am #1229577
March 15, 2017 4:33 am at 4:33 am #1229578
Just as assur as it was before. Those facts don’t make it mutar.
btw, even though you may feel worse in the short run, and maybe even much worse, I think that eventually you will be much happier. Sometimes the very things that are very hard at the moment (and maybe even for several moments) ultimately make us much happier.
Also, I do think that if not talking to boys makes you so unhappy, you should try to figure out why you feel this way and what you can do to stop feeling this way. Wanting to talk to boys is natural, but you should not feel depressed when you don’t.
March 15, 2017 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #1229579
Lilmod, it is okay I almost have a boyfriend to start seriously dating and maybe even marry.
March 15, 2017 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #1229580
March 16, 2017 12:49 pm at 12:49 pm #1229581
Meno, why B’H?
March 16, 2017 12:51 pm at 12:51 pm #1229582
B”H you almost have a boyfriend to start seriously dating and maybe even marry.
March 16, 2017 1:05 pm at 1:05 pm #1229583
Meno, I guess it is good that you like my boyfriend.
March 16, 2017 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1229584
How could I like him? I don’t even know him.
March 16, 2017 1:18 pm at 1:18 pm #1229585
Meno, and you never will.
March 17, 2017 12:33 pm at 12:33 pm #1237859
How do you know? Maybe I am him
March 17, 2017 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #1237973
Meno, I did not know that you were him. But you guys are completely different.
March 19, 2017 7:20 am at 7:20 am #1238146
“But you guys are completely different.”
That doesn’t sound good.
I hope this isn’t the guy with the tattoo who you were giving rides to who is not Frum enough for you.
March 19, 2017 10:52 am at 10:52 am #1238376
Lilmod, it does not matter if it is or is not.
March 19, 2017 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #1238464
Lilmod, I will have to admit it is. I know you will not approve but I am the one dating him not you.
March 19, 2017 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #1238857
Aren’t you Jewish?
March 19, 2017 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1238877
I will have to admit it is. I know you will not approve but I am the one dating him not you.
In that case, I retract my “B”H” and replace it with “oy, nebech”
March 19, 2017 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #1238884
“But you guys are completely different.”
Next time, try to find someone like Meno.
March 19, 2017 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm #1238929
Lilmod, I am a religious Jew. Someone like Meno will not work for me.
March 19, 2017 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #1238954
“Lilmod, I am a religious Jew. Someone like Meno will not work for me.”
???? Huh? What is that supposed to mean? Meno is way Frummer than this guy you are dating!!!!!
March 19, 2017 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #1238931
Meno, that is very insulting. It is B’H.
March 19, 2017 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #1238962
Rebshidduch, it is not insulting at all. It shows he cares about you and that he thinks you deserve someone better.
March 19, 2017 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #1238970
Lilmod, thank you. For me this is a good boy.
March 19, 2017 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #1238980
From your previous posts, that is clearly not the case. You are clearly acting on your emotions and not your seichel, and he is clearly not good for you.
If you don’t believe me, go back and read your previous posts in the thread on that topic. (That was someone else’s idea – can’t remember who – maybe WTP? – anyhow, it was a great idea!)
March 19, 2017 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #1238989
Lilmod, some people change their minds. Now I think he would be a great husband for me.
March 19, 2017 11:09 pm at 11:09 pm #1238995
Again, from what you wrote before, it was clear that you might eventually reach that conclusion if you let your emotions blind your intellect.
Your originals posts were written before you completely let your emotions take over. So they were written more from logic. But it was clear that you were going in the direction of letting your emotions take over.
March 19, 2017 11:10 pm at 11:10 pm #1238998
I think from now on when you are trying to decide if a boy is for you, you should compare him to Meno. If you decide that he is “VERY different” from Meno, he is not for you.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be Meno. It can be anyone you know in real life who is sensible, mature, well-grounded religiously and emotionally, cares about you and what’s good for you and is looking out for your best interests and not just for a girlfriend, knows what his goals in life are and those goals are to grow in his Avodas Hashem and he is looking for a partner to help him to fulfill those goals, is honest and doesn’t try to get you to do things you don’t want to do, etc.
March 19, 2017 11:53 pm at 11:53 pm #1239015
Lilmod, from what it sounds like to you, your saying that you think he is looking for a girl friend and not a wive?
March 19, 2017 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm #1239027
Lilmod, I regret not telling him it was okay to date me from the beginning.
March 19, 2017 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1239029
“Lilmod, from what it sounds like to you, your saying that you think he is looking for a girl friend and not a wive?”
March 19, 2017 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1239030
Lilmod, I meant to add to my last post that obviously Hashem did not want us to start dating right away. He wanted us to start at the right time which is now.
March 19, 2017 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1239031
“Lilmod, I regret not telling him it was okay to date me from the beginning.”
That’s to be expected. Once you started dating him, your emotions took hold and you can no longer think as clearly.
March 20, 2017 12:02 am at 12:02 am #1239037
Lilmod, why would you say he would not want me as a wive and only as a girlfriend?
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