Survey – for men only

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  • August 25, 2016 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1170893
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – bottom line is you don’t feel that he has to be earning enough to support a family before you get married. That was the original question. It is the equivalent of a girl not knowing how to cook before she gets married.

    August 25, 2016 3:03 am at 3:03 am #1170894
    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – NOT if i go out to work to support us even if its just tutoring.

    August 25, 2016 3:34 am at 3:34 am #1170895
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Am I the only one who thinks men should be able to eat healthy on their own?

    I feel like some men are looking more for a mother than a wife.

    Even when my neighbor goes out of town and her husband stays home, she gives me her fruits and vegetables because otherwise they’d grow rotten without her there to cut them up for him. He won’t eat vegetables if she doesn’t make them for him. They do not have children together.

    I feel like men needing women to cook for them must grow exponentially more frustrating when having children. If the wife is not cooking for the family, then no one is eating healthy? The husband cannot prepare healthy meals?

    Granted thank G-d we already have at least one opinion here validating that there are indeed men that cook and enjoy cooking for their families. Thank you for that!

    lilmod ulelamaid: Are you still single? I don’t have a great reason to be asking, but I am curious.

    Happygirlygirl: I’m 32.

    Imamother.com has a ton of moms saying that they live by their crockpot. I cook everything in my steamer. It’s my wife.

    ~Thank you

    August 25, 2016 1:02 pm at 1:02 pm #1170896
    Meno
    Participant

    Sparkly,

    If you’re making tons of money as a pharmacist (who are usually the breadwinners, as you say), why is it so important for your husband to be making money?

    August 25, 2016 1:23 pm at 1:23 pm #1170897
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    lightbrite- just curious, are you a girl or a boy?

    August 25, 2016 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #1170898
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Meno – I would like to hear Sparkly’s answer, but personally, I would think there are a few answers to the question:

    1. Most girls want to know that the guy they are marrying is a responsible, capable, productive person. So if he’s learning full-time that is one thing, but if he is not, he should have a decent job.

    2. It is the guy’s obligation to support the family. If the wife wants to support him while he learns, then he can/should learn, but otherwise, he is responsible for making sure that the family has a parnassah. The wife’s salary can’t and shouldn’t be relied upon too much. B’ezras Hashem, she will have kids, and might not be able to work. Some women have difficulty pregnancies and/or have a lot of kids close together, and it really is too much pressure for a woman to feel that the “ol parnassah” is on her. If she WANTS to do it in order to support her husband in Kollel, that is different, but even then, I think that it is important that the guy is willing to find a means of parnassah if/when it becomes necessary.

    3. Many people (myself included) feel that it is VERY IMPORTANT for women to be home with the kids. If they have to work, there is no choice, but if they don’t, they shouldn’t work more than necessary. Most women feel that they need some kind of outlet, so they need to work part-time, but it should be limited if possible.

    August 25, 2016 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #1170900
    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno – the more money you make the more money you can give to tzedakah.

    August 25, 2016 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #1170901
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – that doesn’t answer why YOUR husband HAS to earn enough to support the family if you are already earning enough. It’s beautiful that you want to give a lot of tzedaka, but it doesn’t make sense to say no to a suggestion because the guy can’t afford to give a ton of money to tzedaka. Actually, if tzedaka is that important to you, maybe you should davka marry a poor guy so you can help him out with all the money you make as a pharmacist.

    August 25, 2016 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #1170902
    Sparkly
    Member

    lilmod ulelamaid – i dont plan on saying no to anyone unless they arent for me.

    August 25, 2016 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #1170903
    Meno
    Participant

    “Actually, if tzedaka is that important to you, maybe you should davka marry a poor guy so you can help him out with all the money you make as a pharmacist”

    Nice. I like that

    August 25, 2016 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #1170904
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Sparkly – great! Good attitude!

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