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When is an appropriate time to tell friends (specifically those who can offer emotional support) about a pregnancy?
When can the future grandparents be told about the gender? (Plans for long distance travel depend on whether it is a boy or girl).
What is the reason and source of the pregnancy and gender not being disclosed?
This will be IY”H the first child B’shaah Tova.
First thing is telling US. Your best and closest friends!!!
Mazel Tov!
(I think there was a thread specifically about this topic)
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you.
You may wish to enjoy the excitement privately for a while before sharing the news. Grandparents first. Friends, etc, later.
B’shaa tova! I told my close friends when I was just passing the first trimester, and other friends once I was already showing.
As for boy/girl, I don’t find out myself but if I did I probably wouldn’t tell. Not even my parents.
The customs about not telling (among Jews, and others) dates back to the time when most babies didn’t make it, and you were almost as likely to be planning on attending a funeral (for the mother) rather than a bris. That is now history, ???? ???.
Unless you’re having a planned induction or c-section its really for naught. And even in those cases, there are times when a baby boy may not be ready for a bris bzmano.
There is so much in this world we can’t control no matter how much we know, just sit back and enjoy HKBH’s plans with all the surprises along the way.
And Daven.
I wouldn’t tell before going into the 2nd Trimester. That is my personal feeling about this. others may feel differently. I would tell parents/grandparents first, then my sibs, followed by other relatives, and friends. I would probably wait until I was showing before telling most people, other than my most imemdiate family.
I had a friend who didn’t tell me until she was ready to give birth. That is extreme. I also had the experience, sadly, of telling my in-laws I was expecting my second child, only to literally begin miscarrying seconds later. Had I waited even one minute more to tell them the news (it was Chanukah, and we went over to see them, and I told them I had a special Chanukah present for them), I would never have said a word about it and they would not have had to deal with the sad news that we lost the baby.
B’shaa tova umutzlachas by you. You should have a beautiful, healthy pregnancy and very easy delivery of a healthy, wonderful baby, BE”H. I personalyl would want to know the gender of the baby, especially if a Sholom Zochor and Bris might be in the works. But I would only tell people on a need to know basis. Grandparents probably fit into that category.
akuperma,
The customs about not telling (among Jews, and others) dates back to the time when most babies didn’t make it, and you were almost as likely to be planning on attending a funeral (for the mother) rather than a bris. That is now history, ???? ???.
I’m not sure there was ever a time in history that the majority of babies didn’t make it past a week, or that a majority of mothers died during childbirth. Certainly there have been periods where these rates were too high, due to disease, malnutrition, poor hygiene, or dangerous practices. Hashem created the human body with wisdom, it is surely capable of giving birth!
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