What's the deal with dating with diabetes.

Home Forums Shidduchim What's the deal with dating with diabetes.

Tagged: 

Viewing 40 posts - 51 through 90 (of 90 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1088311
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Newbee, can a more mild case, without the issues you mentioned, turn into a more severe case?

    #1088312
    newbee
    Member

    It depends: If the person is keeping their blood sugars tight and has consistently good A1C’s (long term average levels) then basically no. If the person is keeping their sugars moderate it depends- some people’s genes will naturally prevent them from developing any issues- others wont. If the blood sugars are really hi over long periods of time- thats a serious cause for concern.

    #1088313
    newbee
    Member

    I have two family members who are diabetic, my sister and my grandfather. My grandfather got diabetes in the old days when technology was really bad- and he B”H no serious problems. If no one would have married him, I would not be here right now. There is also supposedly a huge advance coming soon for type 1 diabetics she said so who knows.

    #1088314
    apushatayid
    Participant

    There is a lot of ignorance about diabetes in the general population.

    Would you reject a shidduch with someone who has asthma or a severe food allergy?

    #1088315
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I would be more likely to reject a shidduch for severe allergies than for diabetes.

    #1088316
    blubluh
    Participant

    B’chasdei HaShem, there have been quite a few advancements in the treatment and management of the disease for many sufferers (and their families) that it is not what it was 30 years ago. There’s plenty to be hopeful about the future.

    As with any weighty life decision, seek the counsel of parents, one’s rav and other experts in such matters.

    #1088317
    cherrybim
    Participant

    Advancement? Like what? Either a diabetic changes his eating habits and starts to exercise daily (like telling a drug addict to just stop his habit), or he is finished.

    And if you are frum, it is more difficult. Given there is a strong connection of frumkeit culture to food; it is especially tough for the frum diabetic to limit himself of foods which are harmful to him. Most times, either the food contains sugar or will turn into sugar after ingestion.

    Most diabetics control the disease with diet, medication, and exercise. However, it’s not an exact science and at any time blood sugar levels can shoot dangerously high, or plummet seriously low.

    Thankfully, most diabetics are already long into their marriages when the disease becomes full blown.

    #1088318
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “Advancement? Like what?”

    Continuous Glucose Monitors. Much more efficient insulin. Insulin pumps. Just to name a few.

    “Either a diabetic changes his eating habits and starts to exercise daily (like telling a drug addict to just stop his habit), or he is finished.”

    Admittedly, I know very little about type 2 diabetes, but this comment as it relates to type 1 is so way off base it only underscores my previous comment about ignorance. Your comment is not unique to diabetes. We can say the same thing about someone with hypertension, high blood pressure and other medical conditions.

    “Most times, either the food contains sugar or will turn into sugar after ingestion.”

    And if anyone ingests too much the body stores it, and the person becomes overweight. This has nothing to do with diabetes except the fact that (depending on type 1 or type 2) the body can not break down the sugar at all due to having no insulin or the body can not properly “process” the sugar. Insulin injections for type 1 or the appropriate medication for type 2 takes care of this problem.

    “Most diabetics control the disease with diet, medication, and exercise.”

    Again, this is true of someone with type 2 only. Someone with type 1, will die without insulin, no matter how healthy a diet.

    “Thankfully, most diabetics are already long into their marriages when the disease becomes full blown.”

    Juveniele Diabetes. The name alone tells you just how wrong this statement is. Then there is gestational diabetes.

    Like everything in life, when it comes to shidduchim decisions can not, and should not be made based on ignorance. Moreover, I personally know a number of people with diabetes who were instructed by Rabbonim not to make the other side aware of their diabetes until after a 2nd or 3rd date (of course this is in a situation where the other side is not aware, many people do not hide their diabetes and it is something that can be learned rather easily. There ARE people who are not quick to publicize their diabetes, and this thread proves their decision correct, since there is so much ignorance in the general population about it).

    #1088319
    cherrybim
    Participant

    “Continuous Glucose Monitors. Much more efficient insulin. Insulin pumps. Just to name a few.”

    Your shirts can get cleaned by taking them to the river; scrubbing them using a wash board; hanging them on the line to dry; dissolving starch into water; and heating the iron on the coals. Or, you can just throw the shirts into the washer and dryer, take out the starch spray; and turn on the iron. Either way, your shirts get cleaned and pressed.

    Same thing with diabetes: They can produce smaller test monitors/meters which retain all your blood sugar results, using test strips which can read a droplet of blood in three seconds; produce insulin pens which makes it more convenient to inject the insulin into the body; produce thinner pricking needles and injection needles; produce loads of support publications; and form support groups. However, for the majority, the disease is a killer which does not go away. Those suffering with it must be on top of it with great self-control to conquer life-long food practices and cravings.

    #1088320
    newbee
    Member

    cherrybim:

    Your ignorance of diabetes, technology, lumping all diabetics together, and type 1 and type 2 diabetes together, is quite troubling. I can only imagine the amount of emotional damage you have caused others. If you think are you are helping diabetics or their family member’s- you are not. You might not realize- this is not a thread about general diabetes. Its a thread about diabetes and shidduchim- which can effect many individual people.

    The very fact that you never even mentioned the most basic thing- that diabetics, family members of diabetics, and all people, must be viewed individually with regards to shidduchim is a red flag to me.

    I wanted to confirm everything before I posted this. A new device was recently introduced that constantly measures a diabetics blood sugar throughout the day and alarms if it ever goes to hi or low. I have seen it in action and was told this makes a qualitative difference. And there is also an artificial pancreas soon to come which will be utilizing this technology.

    #1088321
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I hope cherrybim is not involved in shidduchim with such obvious ignorance.

    #1088322
    cherrybim
    Participant

    What is the point of letting you know, it’s too late by then. A diabetic should be checking his blood on a regular basis anyway. And if it’s so great, why don’t all endocrinologists have their patients wear it.

    #1088323
    newbee
    Member

    cherrybim:

    “What is the point of letting you know, it’s too late by then.”

    You are not only ignorant, but seem to have a vendetta against diabetics. The device also give the constant direction the sugar is headed- so if a diabetics blood sugar is not high, but going in that direction, the user can correct the situation before it becomes high. And if it is already high or low, the user can promptly correct the sugar.

    “A diabetic should be checking his blood on a regular basis anyway.”

    You just contradicted yourself.

    “And if it’s so great, why don’t all endocrinologists have their patients wear it.”

    My sister has it. My grandpa has it. Both their doctors recommended it for them. I was told all doctors do. Maybe some people dont have it because of money- i would imagine its expensive with no insurance.

    #1088324
    apushatayid
    Participant

    It is precisely because of people like cherrybim that many people do not disclose their diabetes. They only Do so after 2,3 sometimes after 4 dates. All under the guidance of rabbonim.

    Cherrybim, may I sugguest you reach out to an organization such as Friends with diabetes to cure some of your ignorance and before your ignorance hurts people.

    #1088325
    cherrybim
    Participant

    As you are aware, not all diabetics have similar requirements or reactions to devices. Continuous glucose monitoring systems are invasive and the sensor which is placed in the body is replaced every few days.

    And you are correct; the continuous glucose monitors are very expensive: the monitor itself can cost up to $2000 and other material expenses are about $2500 per year. Whereas, the standard monitor is usually obtained free of charge and costs pennies per day to operate.

    But even if you can own a continuous glucose monitor, the device is not as accurate and reliable as the standard monitor and still requires calibration with a regular blood glucose testing meters every few hours.

    Maybe this is why I am not aware of any diabetics who own a continuous glucose monitoring system. Most insurance companies as well as Medicare do not cover continuous glucose monitoring systems and feel the higher costs are not justified.

    #1088326
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    Cheerybim, im sorry but like every comment youve made on this thread you have no idea what you are talking about.

    I also love how 2 days ago you never seemed to hear about continuous blood glucose monitors, and now you are an expert.

    If you have questions I and I’m sure others here would be mor ethan happy to answer. Dont make asumptions about a topic you clearly know so little about. just ask.

    #1088327
    cherrybim
    Participant

    I’d love for anyone to correct me on the facts I’ve presented.

    #1088328
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    cheerybim

    I’d be happy too. Though there are a lot of “facts” in your posts most of which arent true. Which in particular would you like corrected?

    “not all diabetics have similar requirements”

    True

    ” or reactions to devices.”

    False

    ” Continuous glucose monitoring systems are invasive”

    false

    ” and the sensor which is placed in the body is replaced every few days.”

    True but that is less often thanchecking fingersticks

    “the continuous glucose monitors are very expensive: the monitor itself can cost up to $2000 and other material expenses are about $2500 per year.”

    True though many insurances will pay

    ” Whereas, the standard monitor is usually obtained free of charge”

    True

    ” and costs pennies per day to operate.”

    False

    “But even if you can own a continuous glucose monitor, the device is not as accurate and reliable as the standard monitor”

    false

    ” and still requires calibration with a regular blood glucose testing meters every few hours.”

    false

    “Maybe this is why I am not aware of any diabetics who own a continuous glucose monitoring system.”

    True I guess, though perhaps they arent sharing?

    ” Most insurance companies as well as Medicare do not cover continuous glucose monitoring systems and feel the higher costs are not justified.”

    False

    “A diabetic should be checking his blood on a regular basis anyway.”

    True though depends on the diabetic and how often you mean by “regular basis”

    ” And if it’s so great, why don’t all endocrinologists have their patients wear it.”

    I guess you did some research subsequently

    I have a question for you. Several posters have pointed out to you that there are two types of diabetes. Yet you still seem to be fusing them together.

    Prior to this discussion, did you know there were two types?

    Do you know now?

    #1088329
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “Maybe this is why I am not aware of any diabetics who own a continuous glucose monitoring system.”

    Lo Rainu Aino Raya. I know more than a dozen.

    “Most insurance companies as well as Medicare do not cover continuous glucose monitoring systems and feel the higher costs are not justified.”

    If I could, I would post an EOB from Empire Blue Cross for a CHP plan where a CGM is covered.

    To be corrected of your “facts”, I would suggest you contact an endocrinologist in your neighborhood.

    #1088330
    cherrybim
    Participant

    apushatayid/ubiquitin: Every fact stated on my posts were copied from certified diabetic medical sites on the web and every one can be verified by anyone reading this post by checking the sites.

    Sorry, next.

    #1088331
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    cheerybim

    Even if your “facts” were correct which many are not, your over all attitude displays a complete lack of understanding of the subject at hand.

    Here is my question to you again

    “Several posters have pointed out to you that there are two types of diabetes. Yet you still seem to be fusing them together.

    Prior to this discussion, did you know there were two types?

    Do you know now?”

    I also have another question. I’m curions where you got these “facts” from

    “Advancement? Like what? Either a diabetic changes his eating habits and starts to exercise daily (like telling a drug addict to just stop his habit), or he is finished. “

    Are the “Certified diabetic medical sites” you found really not aware of advances in diabetes? Do they really lump all diabetics together like you do?

    Or this gem

    “However, it’s not an exact science and at any time blood sugar levels can shoot dangerously high, or plummet seriously low.”

    Which “certified diabetic medical site” says that at any time blood sugar levels cna rise and fall on their own?

    #1088332

    It’s quite funny to see that someone thinks they can argue with someone who has T1 using some things they read online.

    Cherrybim, maybe next time you should put into Google: What is the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes.

    #1088333
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Taking things out of context can be dangerous.

    #1088334
    newbee
    Member

    I think the bigger question is: why does cherrybim have a vendeta against diabetics and preventing them from dating? What benefit do you get from negligently downplaying technological advances?

    “I’d love for anyone to correct me on the facts I’ve presented.”

    I’d doubt that, but ok:

    My sister replaces the device once every 7 days. It is 100% covered by insurance. It is not invasive at all- she does not even know its there. It is extremely accurate, and needs to be calibrated once every 12 hours. Which takes under a minuet to do. By next year or so, there will not even be a need to do that as the newer versions come out. It has been extremely beneficial, easy to use, and prevents high and low glucose levels. Companies are severely limited to what they are allowed to write by the FDA, but you never even heard of this device since 2 days ago, so you must know all the inside information about it. I am sure you know much more than she does.

    #1088335
    newbee
    Member

    “It is precisely because of people like cherrybim that many people do not disclose their diabetes.”

    The biggest problem is non-expert gossipers over-generalizing and fear-mongering. I know if I spoke to cherrybim about diabetes over a cup of coffee in my house, and the next day got a shidduch offer who was diabetic- I would turn it down, for no good reason. I tell her, dont read what people say online- only speak to your doctor and rabbi/rebetzin, because its only going to make you angry and scared. Yes, even siblings are effected. Much of this is used to increase funding I was told, but you see it has its downsides. My grandpa says diabetics have it so great today, but I guess he doesn’t understand the power of the internet.

    #1088336

    I think cherrybim’s posts should be moved to the illogical arguments thread.

    #1088337
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    yiddishemusic

    I had the same thought!

    Though it is more than just illogical, most of his statments are simply factually incorrect. I find it fascinating when people cling to statements that are simply and demonstrably false

    #1088338
    newbee
    Member

    yiddishemusic: Yea I particularly liked this pearl of wisdom:

    cherrybim: “What is the point of letting you know the blood sugar, it’s too late by then.” and “The illness is the cause of severe depression and this escalates the diabetic’s condition.”

    There is only one answer to the OPs question of this thread: you need to look into every individual on a case by case basis. Cant generalize or make assumptions when it comes to diabetes as every case is so different.

    #1088339

    Absolutely.

    #1088340
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “Cant generalize or make assumptions when it comes to diabetes….”

    Or asthma, or high blood pressure, or what yeshiva someone learned in, or what seminary one attended.

    #1088341
    miritchka
    Member

    After reading this page, i would like to stick in my 2 cents about why i stopped posting to this thread. I have lived with someone who has diabetes and feel like i know a lot about diabetes. When i continued to read posts on this thread i realized i really dont know enough to try to convince people that diabetics can live a normal life.

    I know it for myself. I’ve seen it. I continue to see it. But i dont know enough to back myself up on everything.

    So Cherrybim, if you arent so familiar with diabetes and you are getting your info from websites and not from actual people, maybe its time to take a step back.

    #1088342

    Miritchka: Just out of interest, Type 1 or Type 2?

    #1088343
    cherrybim
    Participant

    I mentioned that my info came from websites so that you could look the data up and would not accuse me of making it up, but it did not help as I was vilified anyway. So be it.

    After my last post, I was calling it quits with regard to posting further about this topic. But I think this will be my very last.

    #1088344

    That’s the problem cherrybim.

    You can’t imagine how different the two types are.

    Type 1 shouldn’t be called type 1 as its totally different,

    #1088345
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    Lol cherrybim thanks for finnaly answering my question and for demonstrating conclusivly exactly as many here suspected.

    You have absolutly no clue what you are talking about.

    That is not the goal of type 1 at all. Type 1’s are not resistant at all!

    Granted they sometimes go on to develop type 2, but you have type 1 completely wrong!

    “Does it make a difference if they are Type 1 or 2? Both Types need insulin and medication and diet and exercise to survive.”

    Wrong again! For type 1 there is no role whatsoever for medication! they need insulin period. and type 2’s very often do not need insulin (at least initially)

    Since you dont know the difference and the “websites” you are getting your false information from don’t seem to know either. Here is a brief crash course:

    Type 1 is an autoimune process in which the insulin producing cells of the pancreas are destroyed. The goal of treatment is thus simple: The body cant produce insulin so it needs to be supplied artificially (granted in practice it can get complicated and they can go on to develop type 2 but the premise is simple). There is no role whatsoever for medications. Diet and exercise while always a goood idea dont help supply vital insulin if the body isnt producing it. The diabetic complications you refer to are rare in type 1 since they are usually a result of hyperglycemia which is usually not an issue with type 1.

    Type 2 is completyl different! Type 2 is when the body produces insulin but is resistant to it. In these patients diet and excercise can slow the progression. Medications can sensitize the body to insulin. Eventually insulin is often required because the body is so resistent that you need to overwhelm the resistance with more and more insulin. These are the patients who develop the complications you keep referring to.

    Most people of marriageable age whop are diabetic have type 1. And even those who have type 2 are rarely beyond help especially if they already know at that young age.

    I’m sorry that youve been struggling with this. However if you are compliant with insulin, medications and diet and still “continue to have very high and sometimes very low numbers.” Might I humbly suggest getting a second opinion from a new endocrinologist. You never seemed to have heard of continuous glucose monitors, if you are having highs and lows and funny times thet perhaps you miss when spot checking with a finger stick, a continuous monitor will pick those up and perhaps adjusting the time that you take insulin or the type of insulin you take would help.

    B”H your eyes haven’t been affected, you are obviously doing something right. It definitely isn’t easy.

    Hatzlacha

    #1088346
    apushatayid
    Participant

    wikipedia does not count as a reliable resource for diabetes.

    if your diabetes is so out of control, may i suggest looking for a new endo. if you need a referral call rabbi meisels of FWD.

    #1088347

    Thank you ubiquitin. I was going to write something along those lines but I haven’t had time.

    #1088348
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    The two types of diabetes are actually two different diseases, not two types of the same one.

    #1088349
    newbee
    Member

    cherrybim: You do realize you are not having a casual conversation about type 2 diabetes at your kitchen table with a friend right? You instead made sweeping statements from your personal experience with type 2 diabetes mixed with internet data on a thread about people with type 1 diabetes. And not only about type 1 diabetes- but an even more specified topic of type 1 diabetes and shidduchim.

    Type 1 and 2 diabetes are COMPLETELY different. Young people in shidduchim have (in nearly all cases) type 1 diabetes.

    I wish you success with handling your TYPE 2 diabetes.

    #1088350
    miritchka
    Member

    yiddeshemusic: She has Type 1

    Cheerybim: I’m sorry you have to go through what you’re going through with diabetes. From what i understand, there is a difference between Type 1 and Type 2. As i mentioned before, i don’t want to go into detail, as I don’t have enough knowledge about it.

Viewing 40 posts - 51 through 90 (of 90 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.