When to Propose

Home Coffeeroom Shidduchim When to Propose

Viewing 17 posts - 1 through 17 (of 17 total)
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  • #1379307

    Joseph
    Participant

    Q: How long should I date a girl before proposing?

    A: If you made your investigations beforehand and you know that she’s a healthy girl, and now you’ve dated her a few times and you think that everything is in order, then there’s no reason to wait too long. You can’t wait too long because somebody else might take her away from you. That happens. Yes, I’ve see that happen.

    Or, even worse, she might discover who you really are! And therefore, while the illusion is still going on, make sure to utilize the opportunity.

    Rav Miller, Tape # 817

    #1379339

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    “Or, even worse, she might discover who you really are! ”

    Was this directed to you?

    #1379376

    Joseph
    Participant

    It was general advice to the klal.

    #1379466

    yekke2
    Participant

    Not up to scratch, Joseph.

    The normal you would be positing about how it’s assur to propose, and how the whole concept of proposing comes from the Goyim.

    #1379491

    NeutiquamErro
    Participant

    It’s assur to propse.

    The whole concept of proposing comes from the goyim.

    #1379505

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    It depends. Sometimes after 5 dates; sometimes 10 or more. There is no correct answer. If the parents have met and everything is “b’seder” with them, it should be on the next date.

    #1379542

    Joseph
    Participant

    Sometimes after 2 dates.

    #1379576

    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Its also assur to own a phone or to own a car or a to smoke, to wear a tie etc. They were all introduced by goyim

    #1379589

    yekke2
    Participant

    It wasn’t introduced by the Goyim.

    Jewish women proposing to their husbands has been part of the Jewish marriage ever since Rus proposed to Boaz.

    #1379661

    NeutiquamErro
    Participant

    Yeah, I was being facetious #PoesLaw

    #1379667

    Joseph
    Participant

    Yekke was being facetious in his comment to you, as well.

    #1379679

    yekke2
    Participant

    No I wasn’t.

    Joseph – I think NeutiquamErro was responding to Takes22tango, not to me.

    #1379673

    Joseph
    Participant

    .

    #1379744

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    If she finds out who you really are after the wedding, and it is not the person she married, she will probably get the marriage annulled.

    #1379746

    NeutiquamErro
    Participant

    I was enlightening anybody it may have concerned as to the nature of my facetiousness. If that helps.

    #1379788

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Don’t they say that no one is the same person that his or her spouse thought he or she was after getting married?

    LB: Who is they? Everyone. People. Jewish. Your rabbi. Your rebbetzin. NonJewish. Your teacher. Your physician assistant. Your neighbor.

    Wait no. Many people say that whole thing about the person you married being different after marriage. That’s life.

    But then again, I’ve heard that if you do the work of getting to know the person, in a variety of situations, then you can at least know the foundation of a person.

    In other words, you can trust B”H that this person is compatible with you. Or maybe I’m just misinterpretating it with optimism?

    Thanks ☺

    #1379798

    Joseph
    Participant

    The best research needs to be done before you meet the potential shidduch.

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