<<Oh well... I wonder what circle of the netherworld I'm going to go to because I allowed Eeees to speak to me first...>>>
Probably the fourth or fifth circle, would be my guess.
And, what about the quiet guys? In some cases, if the girl doesn't speak first, no talking will be done.
Probably the fourth or fifth circle, would be my guess.
That high? Wow! I was certain it was the ninth or deeper. :)
The Wolf
"No one has yet answered *why* it's disrespectful for the girl to start talking first.
The Wolf "
I can't answer that. I was nervous that there would be an awkward silence and so I started talking before my husband had even a second to collect himself. And I'm so not the yabbermouth person. I was just nervous. Never even heard that the boy starts first.
And what is wrong with a moment silence. You don't need to speak every second. Take a minute to think. After all, you're two new people that are TRYING to find what to talk about to each others!! If only people would learn to act like their honest self on dates...
I'm not implying that there is anything wrong with a moment's silence. That was just my nervous self. It's always good to think before you talk. Just to put you at ease so you can sleep tonite - have no fear. My husband and I ARE on speaking terms b"H.
Oh I believe you!! I've had quite a few of those awkward silent moments when we couldn't find what to say(and neither of us is too quiet).
Now the problem is that we don't have the time to talk!!!
Quiet time is normal and to be expected (and cherished.)
Volvie: On dates? I know it's normal, but they don't call them "awkward" silences for nothing.
its one thing if its a comfortable silence,but if its awkward every time- it probably aint the one!
So girl's should be more outgoing and vivacious.
But she's disrespectful if she speaks before being spoken to.
She's got poor shidduch prospects if she's "quiet".
But she has the most to lose in the ongoing crisis if she steps out of line.
No matter what she does, she's in trouble unless she's a mind reader.
If you have comfortable silences on dates its probably a very good sign!
mybat: Exactly.
"If you have comfortable silences on dates its probably a very good sign!"
How do you know if a silence is comfortable or awkward? This may sound like a weird question, but I'm serious. I've been told that if you feel comfortable or awkward, your date probably feels the same way. I know that I have ruined some comfortable silences before by trying to force conversation b/c I thought my date might not be comfortable with the silence. So my question is, is it worse to have awkward silences or to force conversation possibly ruining a comfortable silence?
Boredjewishguy
If you don't feel awkward during the silence, your date probably doesn't feel awkward either so don't force conversation but you can say something to break the silence if you feel uncomfortable.
MYBAT- I disagree with you. A date is not supposed to have comfortable silence. That would mean that the boy and girl are becoming a bit too comfortable with each others. At this stage (while dating), they shouldn't become so comfortable with each others that silence should feel normal. I just don't think it's right.
Another thing, what do you say to discussing the silence? Like, I hope you don't mind the silence but its ok with me if me don't speak every second...I think that would make both of them feel comfortable with the silence.
smartcookie: I disagree with you. They are dating to get married, they absolutely should be comfortable with each other (way) before they get married. Personally I think it's normal to be that comfortable with silence after just a couple of dates and even on a first date you don't have to be talking the whole time, even though the silence is awkward. I have discussed the silence with a date before and it did make me feel more comfortable.
True, while dating you are definitely supposed to have some comfortability, but so comfortable that silence should feel absolutely normal? Hhhmmm. I guess it depends on individuals.
Funny that you also discussed the silence.I thought I was the only crazy one.
smartcookie: Personally I don't think silence being comfortable or normal really requires that much closeness. Even if it did, I would think you should be that close before getting married. I guess it really depends on your dating style. You're definitely not the only crazy one, talking about silence doesn't even seem that crazy to me.
You're definitely not the only crazy one
Not the only crazy one?
"Not the only crazy one?"
Volvie, what's the question, she said she was crazy, I'm not gonna call her a liar. There must be other things she does that make her "crazy".
Hey...is that me you guys are talkin' about? Hhhmmm....
"Hey...is that me you guys are talkin' about? Hhhmmm...."
Well, you are the one who said you're crazy...
Naaaaa...
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