You're Celebrating Your First Chanukah As A Married Person

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  • #593130
    WiseWoman
    Member

    I wanted wondering when you first got married and it came to your first chanukah together what did you do for presents. Did you buy one big gift or 8 little gifts? We hate having to wait to give gifts. I bought my husband 5 ties the other night to give to him for chanukah and I couldnt wait anymore(neither could he) and had to give them to him already. What do you suggest?

    #990556
    myfriend
    Member

    On Chanukah Yidden give Chanukah Gelt, not Christmas gifts.

    #990557

    i suggest you not give gifts at all for Chanukkah

    just a suggestion mind you, just a suggestion.

    #990558
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    How about just doing whatever will make the two of you happy?

    The Wolf

    #990559
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    A partridge in a pear tree.

    Two turdledoves.

    Three french hens.

    Four Colly birds.

    Five golden rings.

    Six geese a-laying.

    Seven swans a-swimming.

    Eight maids a-milking.

    (We are not noheg to give the ladies dancing, lords a-leaping, pipers piping, or drummers drumming. Obviously, the ladies dancing is not tznius anyway.)

    #990560
    bpt
    Participant

    Gift giving is always a good move, so whatever / how many you give, you doin’ fine.

    Just make sure you don’t drop a hot latke in Chosson’s lap (or drip custard / jelly / conf. sugar on him). That would be a bad way to commemorate your first channukah.

    Ok, sarcasm is over. Kallah, just relax. Made it past shevah brachos without a shouting match? It smooth sailing from here (till the kids / kids-in-law arrive, but that’s a whole other thread)

    #990561
    smartcookie
    Member

    I give a gift when I feel like it. Not because it’s chaunkah so I MUST buy something.

    If you don’t have what to buy now, wait until something comes up and he needs something.

    #990562
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    On the topic of gifts, if anyone ever gives me a silver esrog box, I will sell it on the family heirloom thread for scrap silver.

    Why would I want another valuable thing which I have to carry around and keep track of. It’s like those idiots who wear valuable stones and metals on their finger or ears. Nobody in yeshiva is stupid enough to do that.

    #990563
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    We don’t do Chanukah presents really.

    This year, we are buying our kids the Incredible Dreidel of Feitel von Zeidel to enjoy CHanukah with.

    I’m also making a menorah with my 2 year old and am going to let him light his own. He’s super excited.

    My gift to my family is making yummy latkes. Those are a pain to make.

    And LOL @ Popa.

    #990564
    squeak
    Participant

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    That tape will haunt you forever. Trust me 🙂

    #990565
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    I love that tape! I have fond memories of it from growing up.

    It can’t be more annoying than Uncle Moishy right?

    #990566
    squeak
    Participant

    It goes in a class of its own- well, along with the Torah Zoo.

    #990567
    deiyezooger
    Member

    Your best Chanuka memmories will not be the presents but the way you spend your first holiday together. Make it a good memmory by enjoying every minute of it.

    #990568
    WIY
    Member

    Its ironic that the concept we should learn from Chanukah is that we are different from the non Jews and how they forced us to give up on our Mitzvos and many Jews willingly gave up and made concessions on their yiddishkiet until they became Greeks (misyavnim) and yet what do we do? We go and give Chanukah gifts which is a Christmas concept stolen from the non Jews.

    I think the greatest gift you can give each other is to learn what Chanukah is about and to both show appreciation to Hashem that we live in a society where theres religious freedom and we are able to do the Mitzvos freely and build beautiful Jewish families.

    The gift giving you can leave for before or after Chanukah.

    #990570
    deiyezooger
    Member

    WIY – well said!!

    #990572
    Sacrilege
    Member

    “We go and give Chanukah gifts which is a Christmas concept stolen from the non Jews.”

    Maybe the Christians stole the concept of giving from us?

    #990573

    maybe, but there is no tradition of giving gifts on Chanukkah

    #990574
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Nu, anyone have any good gifts this year?

    #990575
    funnybone
    Participant

    If you and your spouse want to exchange gifts, then it’s nobody’s business (unless your rav holds that you shouldn’t).

    I would recommend one large gift and make sure your spouse knows that that’s it! You don’t want to give him chatchkes. I believe in discussing with a spouse how much to spend on gifts and what type (s)he likes, some people like necessities, while others prefer luxuries (go ahead, start a new thread about it!).

    #990576
    shmendrick
    Member

    The Jewish tradition is to give Chanukah gelt.

    The mikor for this is in the Rambam, pirush hamishnayos, where he writes that the Yvonim “poshtu yodom b’momon Yisroel” that the Greeks took yiddishe gelt.

    As such, it became a minhag to give money DAVKA on Chanukah: Chanukah gelt!

    The influence of the golus and “their” holiday celebrations caused many to be nichshal in b’chukosayhem by giving Chanukah gifts rather than gelt.

    #990577
    shmendrick
    Member

    Regarding giving CHanukah gelt – the proper day to give out the gelt is set for the 5th night of Chanukah (see Hayom Yom for the 28th of Kislev).

    However, some write that the custom is to give it every night, just add a little more on the fifth night.

    An important machshava about money vs. gifts.

    A gift is a finished product. Money is not a finished product. One needs to do something with it for money to become useful.

    Further, money becomes relevant based on its use, for good, or the opposite.

    #990578
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Our Minhag is Shaveh Kesef Kikesef. As a child I enjoyed the excitement of a present, that I can use, rather than money which I had no use of.

    #990579
    shmendrick
    Member

    If you were given gifts, then you were deprived of the ability to give ma’aser ksofim to tzedaka. What a pity. I am sad for you that as a child you were unable to take your own money and put it in a pushka.

    #990580
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    If my spouse does not know how to use apostrophes, I would love my first Chanukah present to be proper use of apostrophes.

    (You’re is You Are, Your is possessive)

    #990581
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    You’re is You are.

    #990582
    WIY
    Member

    Torah613

    Would you say no to a guy if he doesn’t use apostrophes?

    #990583
    funnybone
    Participant

    you’re wife’s gift should be apostrophe’s for you’re self?? What would be you’re gift to you’re wife??

    #990584
    more_2
    Member

    I agree with torah. You can’t marry someone who can’t spell. That’s precisely why I’m not married to an American. Americans can’t spell. They don’t have apostrophes So they can’t give you Sth they don’t have…

    #990585
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    “How about just doing whatever will make the two of you happy?”

    The Wolf

    +1

    #990586
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    WIY: If English was not his first language, and he didn’t know how to use apostrophes, and he was brilliant and sounded appropriate in other ways, I would not say no. I would prefer if he didn’t use double negatives, but that would be being picky since I do.

    just kidding, I really don’t care about apostrophes per se.

    Funnybone: That post should be punctuated:

    Your wife’s gift should be apostrophes for yourself? What would be your gift to your wife?

    The serious answer is, it depends on our budget. I would be happy with flowers, chocolate, or jewelry. I also like meforshim on tefila. (I am a single girl, for the record, in case anybody has forgotten.)

    more_2: How biased and offensive of you. I am American and can spell and punctuate with the best of them. Go USA!!!

    #990587
    more_2
    Member

    Torah then in that case you must have some gene in you that is not entirely American….

    #990588
    miritchka
    Member

    I love getting/giving gifts! However, due to financial reasons, we haven’t bought each other gifts in a long time. We did get one for the kids and the way they showed their appreication proved to me that one gift is all they need. When we are able to afford to buy more, we buy and give for a special occasion – birthday, yom tov or shabbos.

    As for ourselves, we make channukah, birthdays, etc… special in other ways: a special dinner, a walk at the beach/water at night, etc.. (we can only go out if a family member is available to babysit to save on babysitting!!)

    We have found that just setting aside time for the 2 of us (no cell phones, hatzoloh radio set to low, no answering doors) really makes the moment special and more meaningful.

    #990589
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    You’re should be your.

    #990590
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    In emunas yisroel, we would never use apostrophes. We don’t need to make everything so short.

    #990591
    SaysMe
    Member

    so tempted to send my brother in to scout you out

    #990592
    WIY
    Member

    Popa

    Lol. When will you be there next I want to see if I can spot you in a crowd.

    #990593
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I don’t know when I’ll be there next. But if you must know, I had my eye out for you.

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