Joseph

All I’m saying is that a new BT should not immediately leave his non-Jewish wife, since it makes sense to give her time to see if she will decide she wants to commit to accepting the yoke of the mitzvos.

You are absolutely halachicly incorrect. How can you make such a suggestion that is completely halachicly sinful and wrong on all accounts? A new BT, or any Jew for that matter, is absolutely required to immediately leave his non-Jewish “wife”. Every single day he is with her is another humongous sin. This is a halachicly indisputable fact. And for you to openly suggest he not leave her right away, is you suggesting he continue sinning from the worst sins in Torah Judaism.

This is even before getting to the problems with why she cannot convert. Even if you assume she could convert in the future, no one disputes as long as she’s not Jewish that he’s absolutely forbidden to be with her for even one more day.

The same goes for new BTs married to secular Jews — don’t ditch her right away just because she’s reluctant to all of the sudden move to Boro Park, put on a sheitel and start going to the mikvah every month.

That’s a far different case than the preceding one. Being married to a non-religious Jew is a completely different case than with a non-Jew. With a non-religious you should insist that she at least keep the bare minimum taharas hamishpacha.

JJ2020: I’m sure you heard “כל מי שנעשה רחמן במקום אכזרי, סוף שנעשה אכזרי במקום רחמן.” and “כל מי שנעשה רחמן במקום אכזרי, סוף שמדת הדין פוגעת בו” — “He Who is Compassionate to the Cruel Will Ultimately Become Cruel to the Compassionate”. This applies not only to Bein Adom L’Chaivero but to Bein Adom L’Mokom just as well. When we are required to mete out punishment for a Bein Adom L’Makom sin, it is cruel not to. The only reason Beis Din today doesn’t carry out corporal punishments is because the local non-Jewish governments prevent us. As I said, not too long ago the governments in both Europe and in the Arab lands delegated to the Jewish community the authority to enforce Jewish law. And the butei dinim did exactly that. Quite properly.

It is unfortunate we cannot do so today. If America would not prevent or penalize us for doing so today, we would do so today just as we did so in the past.

It is not “Shalom” or “Darchei Noam” to ignore wanton violations of Halacha or refrain from speaking out against them or declaring the severity of it and the normative punishments for them.

And getting back on track to the original topic of this thread, let us recall that engaging in a relationship with a gentile is so severe a violation, that it is one of the few instances where every Jew today (who isn’t a violator in this area himself) is halachicly authorized (as we learn from Pinchas) to extrajudicially slay a Jew and the gentile partner while they’re engaged in this transgression.

JJ2020: Correct, Hashem gives everyone bechira to choose to do mitzvos or, r”l, aveiros. But Hashem also demands justice be meted out in this world by Beis Din, including for aveiros of Bein Adom L’Mokom — some of which carry severe penalties such as capital punishment — in addition to schar v’onesh in Beis Din Shel Maala. Beis Din is authorized and is supposed to carry out punishments such as malkos and other corporal punishments for various aveiros even today. The only reason we don’t is because the goyish governments stop us. When that wasn’t the case, as recently as until the emancipation in Europe 150 years ago, our butei dinim indeed meted out such punishments.

In those times we didn’t need kiruv professionals since Beis Din would give a nice beating to any Jew who violated the laws of the Torah until he started complying with Jewish Law. (When you hear people refer to “the good ‘ole days”, that’s what they’re thinking about.)

JJ2020: The threat of being put to death for violating Shabbos (and other penalties Jewish courts mete out) isn’t a matter of Hashem enforcing and forcing compliance of His laws?

Another thing to consider is that many who are mekareved do not stay with Yiddishkeit long, and slide back until their own secular ways (or even convert so some other religion, c”v’s.) Is it a good idea to whisk a starry-eyed BT away from his family, plunging the family into despair, when he may well be no more religious than before within a few months, having destroyed his children’s lives for nothing?

It absolutely is a good idea to whisk a Yid away from a gentile he’s/she’s in a relationship with. This is absolutely true even if he soon after stops being frum and r”l reverts back to irreligious secularism. Because even if he goes back to violating the other 612, at least at that point he isn’t sinning repeatedly every day by being in a relationship with a gentile. That alone is a major accomplishment. Being in an intermarried relationship is one of the worst cardinal sins in Judaism. And it is being violated every day the relationship exists.

A major kiruv accomplishment would be to get an intermarried Jew to end the relationship even if he never once does a single other mitzvah.

Chaver, which available category would have been more appropriate?

Those two examples certainly are religious wrongdoings. And absolutely should be corrected with tochacha. There’s no reason in the world anyone reading any of this could conclude otherwise.

That being said, just because some goyim or goyishe authorities accuse a Yid of any that, doesn’t mean it has even an iota of basis in reality.