Frankly I have not had the time to read all the above 47 comments, but from reading a few of them, I’m getting disgusted! Let me explain..

1. I read NASI’s letter of explanation, and can’t understand why all you guys have a problem with what he is saying. The fact remains, that we are in crisis, and nobody seems to give a damn, besides NASI. Although, I doubt that they are trying to make this successful to enrich themselves, frankly I wish they did. Anyone who knows anything about running a successful organization, knows that without the ability to make a living, you will not get talented people to dedicate themselves to the cause. And that’s what we need. Do you think for one moment, that organizations, like Chai Lifeline, RCCS, Bonei Olam etc, are all volunteer? There are some very handomely paid individuals making all the wonderful things they do, happen. NASI was started, I assume, with some seed money from some idealistic benafactors, and they have been extremely successful in changing our attitudes to marrying girls of the same age. But at this point as they take on even bigger and better ideas (whether you agree with them or not), they do need financing in place, and a full time talented staff to get it done properly.

2. I agree fully with their assertion that part of our problem here is the SHADDCHAN CRISIS. The shulchan Aruch rules that being a Shadchan (should be) an umnus kal v’nakiya. It is a legitimate trade, and a tremendous mitzvah as well. We can’t be Klal Yisroel without them. Yet, as NASI contends, they are horribly underpaid, underappreciated, and put up with constant abuse. Did any of you notice the burnout rate amongst them?

NASI’s GameChanger idea, puts the importance of this issue right into the spotlight where it belongs, in addition to helping the older girls. Why is it, that people are spending upwards of $40k to marry off their children, plus support afterwards, and they can’t seem to find the money to properly compensate the shaddchan who made it all happen???

3. I want to mention something that I don’t think anyone brought up yet. Part of the Shaddchan Crisis, is due to the fact that all too often, we, as their customers, deal very unfairly with them in the process. Below are a few examples.

a) Shaddchanim are matchmakers, trying to match compatible singles. Why are they given the job of being bankers? Why must they be put in the terribly uncomfortable position of asking (often destitute parents), how much post-marital assistance they are willing to extend? If one feels that the suggestion is otherwise good enough, can’t they discuss that directly with the other side before the couple meets? I did that with my children and it worked great. Paranthetically, I wonder why everyones bitachon dissapears when it comes to shidduchim? The vast majority of Gedolei Yisroel had very little financial assistance in their formative years. It was their very mesiras nefesh that made them whom they are!

b)If Shaddchanim would not be gutzy, they would get nowhere. So why if a shidduch is suggested that you feel is below your dignity, does the shaddchan need to hear it? Do you know how many weeks he refrained from suggesting it, due to your sensitivities, but finally pulled the trigger for your child’s sake? Just say “thank you for thinking of us”. You can always call back and tell him/her what type you are looking for at a later time, so they can be closer to home. Do you really think they have nothing better to do than insult you?? And BTW, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if you came off your high horse and allowed your children to see a quality prospect who’s mother serves on paper dishes! Chancese are, they will make much better spouses than the spoiled rotten JAPS, who always eat on china.

c) I feel that many more people would be much more motivated to talk shidduchim, if we paid them something everytime they are successful setting up a date. After all we only let our children date if we feel that it is at least a good hava amina.

d) Older singles, I know it’s hard for you, and can perfectly understand your frustration, but if you want to get quality suggestions, stop the fussiness. It drives shaddchanim crazy.

P.S. I’m not a shaddchan. I gave up a long tima ago, because of all this non-sense.

People do you see what he’s saying? Part of these huge sums are going to pay NASI’s debt to people who made shidduchim but never go paid! Wow! That’s unbelievable! They started an organization to help people by promising others $ without a way to do it and then you ask that same group of people to stretch themselves beyond what is fair to help the past group of helpers. THAT is a PONZI SCHEME!!!

Re the first program from a few years ago.

The program when launched was subject to funds availability. That point aside, well over 125,000 was given out to shadchanim who made such shidduchim. That money was rasied by one individual . The program was B”H so successful tht we realized it couldn’t last forever. A decision was made to set a date for a few months in the future, after which we wouldn’t accept any new claims. Unfortanetly, what happened was that girls and boys families took advantage. When a qualifying shidduch got engaged, instead of giving standard shadchanus to the Shadchan, they gave 360 and said go to NASI they will give you. This was 1. Totally wrong as that wasn’t the intention of the program 2. Being that we were falling behind with raising the money, the shadchanim, were actually getting stiffed, not from parents and not from NASI. As such the program was stopped abruptly to all new claims.

At present all outstanding claims are still on file, if when we had the money we wuld pay it out. If we raise 2,000 tehn we have a decision to make, should we give to 2 of the outstanding claim, or should we do something like the BMG which has been very effective in changing boys attitudes towards girls there own age or older. The R”Y advising the program have told us to keep our eye on the mission. If we come up with a lump sum (10k or something) we use some for present programs and pay back outstanding claims. If we don’t have that money we simply can’t pay. In the last few years in case you’ve noticed the economy isn’t great and fundraising hasn’t exactly been easy.

Yesterday A woman with the same “tayna” came to understand, and then she suggested why didn’t we write a letter to all those people explain what I just wrote. And she is 1000% correct. Unfourtanetly we simply don’t have the manpower. I wish and beg that we had more people. This isn’t my day job, nor is it the day job of anyone (one other person) involved in the running (of the program). When I offered to send her the list and allow her to send out the letters in our name she politely declined. I’d make the same offer to any of you.

Over the last two years we as a community have collectively expended inordinate amounts of time, energy, and resources on all kinds of wonderful and important issues. R’ Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin, the boys in Japan and others. There is no doubt that the lives of 1,000 of our precious bnos Yisroel, is far more urgent than any of these programs.

In addition WE CAUSED THE TRAGEDY, WE ARE RESPONSIBLE. Yet day after day they and their families continue to suffer in silence. Where is the kinus demanding that these changes be implemented? Where are the articles, WHERE IS THE COMMUNITY?