Comments on: Out Of The Mailbag – To YW Editor (“Special-Ed” Tuition Woes)

By: anon5577

anon5577 — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:11:55 +0000

To tek

SCHI I believe is a school for children who have a different kind of disability then the one mentioned in this case (see post #41). The other schools you mentioned I am not familiar with. Also see post #18 which brings up a very good point. To answer your question there is no organization to my knowledge that will distribute money to all special ed schools of this kind. That maybe b/c the fundraising is happening at the school level as #18 points out. I hope this somewhat answers your question.

By: tek

tek — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 22:28:47 +0000

how come no one answered my post??? #23

By: Mamash a Gevald

Mamash a Gevald — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:14:29 +0000

To #7

I have a child in a special education yeshiva in Brooklyn. I was told by several people that I should use this “advocate” because everyone uses her and she will definitely win my case. Well to make a long story short, she charged me a “bargain price” (which should have put me on notice) and then lost my case. I did not get a penny. I wish that I had known about this attorney you recommended.

By: willi

willi — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:34:40 +0000

what i’m adding here might not help the mother’s situation, but for anyone who’s interested, the costs of special ed, psychological / developmental evaluations can reach astronomical heights. i know someone who recently took her hyperactive daughter for an evaluation & she paid $1,500 just for the initial “checkup”!!!!!!!!!!
Average (psychiatric / psychological) sessions by most professionals can range from $250 – $1000! And this is no exageration.
so before you all go & attack this stressed out mom & others in similar situations, get an idea of what “expenses” can mean, & don’t judge so quickly.
good shabbos,

By: donutman

donutman — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:04:45 +0000

To Original Poster Anon5577:

I know a child who had a learning disability. He attended a secular school because it had the resources to assist him properly. When in high school he was able to transfer to a yeshiva gedolah and later received semicha. He likely would not have been able to attain that height had he not attended the proper lower school education, which taught him to overcome his challenges. His proper home life and support from adults and school-age friends in the shul ensured that he did not lose his yiddeshe moornings while attending a secular school.

By contrast, I know a child who was kept in a yeshiva for too many years before being transfered to another school, where that child now thrives – a night and day difference. And, there too, a proper home provides proper guidance. I am not offering advice, I am only repeating what I have seen, specifically, instances in which the root needs of the child were met, and once the child was equiped with the tools to overcome his challenges, mainstreaming was possible.

Hatzlocho.

By: anon5577

anon5577 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:29:54 +0000

I am the originator of this letter. First I want to thank EVERYONE for their input. To #36 you don’t know me but basically you hit the nail on the head with your comments.

One more issue I want to point out is we are talking about your typical child who has a learning disability. She is currently in a main stream Yeshiva with a very good resource room. Still the school has told me that in my daughters best interest to send her to a school that will cater to her learning disabilities. The discussion did come up to hire a shadow but the school felt that in our situation that is not the best idea. I do agree with the school. In the long run the plan would be to “mainstream” her back into a regular class room setting.

By: bestbubby

bestbubby — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:51:40 +0000

Please tell me, Chavamom, where I said she should PAY for extra help. Maybe you don’t have Chesed programs in your neighborhood…I’m inclined, from your response, to understand why.

And let’s just say this overworked, stressed out, Mom DOES have to pay for a cleaning lady. You don’t think she deserves to save her sanity? It would be better for her to find $25 a week than to get down on her hands & knees and cry into the toilet as she scrubs it.

I suggest you re-read my suggestions and the reasons behind them; then get off your high horse and understand that some posters had actual ideas of practical ideas to help this family. What did YOU add to the pot except fury?

I can’t imagine you would be helpful to this person, except by adding fuel to her fire & telling her she’s right. It’s very easy to agree, isn’t it, if you don’t DO ANYTHING!

There. That’s better.

By: house77

house77 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:39:05 +0000

skoyach – just to clarify, i do feel very bad for this parent, and i did clearly say “im sorry ur kid requires special ed.” And FTR, there are programs established to help this cause, like Keshet and Kesher, and there are many ppl who do donate money! So its not EVERYONE…But you cant force ppl to give money to organizations which they dont feel are “important,” for whatever reason. Mayser can be allocated to whatever s/o wants.

But, with all due respect to the author of this mailbag post, I must say, that it takes a heck of alot of chutzpah to ask “WHY is it my responsibility.”

Same reason, that tens of thousands of dollars worth of hospital bills are s/o’s RESPONSIBILITY, even if insurance shouldve kicked in, but didnt, they dont have insurance, dont have good insurance, out of network, etc. Their health (/their childs health), their RESPONSIBILITY.

S/o gets into a car crash, other driver was some uninsured mexican who drops off the face of the earth. WHY is it their responsibility to repair their own car, when the accident wasnt their fault? Well, its their choice. They can drive a now damaged car, or, they can fix it. Its their car, they leased it, and before they return it to the dealer, its their RESPONSIBILITY to fix it. Whether you like it or not.

Yes, life is unfair, alot of times. But to ask the question in such a way, takes alot of audacity.

By: Yisoidisdik shaitels

Yisoidisdik shaitels — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 08:47:01 +0000

What is wrong with sending a child with special education needs to public school. It’s not like they are going to go off the derech.
If one can’t pay their bills perhaps they should figure out a way to increase their income or perhaps speak to a moreh hora’ah and use birth control.
It is an individual issue if they cant afford tuition not a communal one. Whether its a healthy child or a SE child it makes no difference.

By: a_sound_voice

a_sound_voice — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 08:05:36 +0000

I for one agree that the price of special ed tuition is outrageous. I know many people who have been through the system, and it had hindered them more than helped them. Plus, the money that their parents had to pay to put them in there, was practically no where to be seen. The teacher’s salaries are not that high, the social workers (with degrees or in the process of getting them) are barely paid anything, if that. Plus, the kids themselves feel ostracized from other kids because they are in “special ed”. All I can tell anyone that has a kid in special ed is, ask to see their expenses first. I know they won’t want to show it to you, but they will say that they have too much. Well, let’s see what the money goes to first. I can tell you from experience. I worked in a special ed “seminary” in Israel last year as a student social worker. The tuition there was 23K- most parents could not afford it. However, what was really going on there? There were 6 madrichas- all serut leumi girls (no training, nothing- mostly there for the fun of it), 2 student social workers (not paid, because they were interns) a few teachers, with maybe a BA- but not in special ed. They had maybe 5 classes a day, 2 of which were taught by the SW’s. They were sent out to day jobs- who weren’t getting to have them there. The list goes on and on.
Parents of special ed kids are SOMETIMES being robbed in the name of a great education of their child (which in some cases translates into glorified babysitting). It is a shame, that is all I can say.
Good Shabbos!