Comments on: Out Of The Mailbag – To YW Editor (Asara B’Teves Gets Even Sadder)

By: Proud KAJ-WH TIDE Guy

Proud KAJ-WH TIDE Guy — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:53:59 +0000

38 & 39″:
There are people who dress non-tzniusdik and have much better manners and behavior than those who wear so-called religious,tzniusdik clothes. There are non-frum Jews band goyim who will alwatys hold the door,greet,never use foul language,etc and there are those who wear a suit,tie white shirt ,black hat, some with peyos,some not,who use foul 4 -letter word language,make dirty jokes,don’t greet,don’t hold a door. So do not be surprized that that so-called non-frum-looking person knows about the halocho and the ta’anis and the arrogant frummer does not. I see this all the time.

By: sane

sane — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:25:50 +0000

Why is the Yeshiva blamed. By the time you’re 18 or so, you should have matured enough to realize that you can’t be spoon fed everything. Yeshiva bochurim have an obligation to use their brains and put in some effort on their own. Don’t blame the Yeshiva. That is the typical excuse of this generation, which is the most affluent and most free in history – blame someone else for your failures. Particulalry, with the proliferation of so many seforim in English, the only reason for someone graduating a Yeshiva not being familiar with why you fast is laziness. You should be asking yourself why you have not applied yourself and exerted effort to become competent. In 120 years, when you have to give a din vacheshbon, I do not believe that the excuse that the Yeshiva never tested you will get you far.

By: willi

willi — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 15:18:52 +0000

in the girls’ schools they drill it into the heads of their students when they’re still young & that’s how we remember. I’m out of school for a while already & of course I know the reason why we fast!
do u know why we read the megilla on Purim?
why we eat matzoh on Pesach?
etc. etc.
things taught/studied well in the younger years, are simply harder to forget.

By: Turkeyneck

Turkeyneck — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:00:51 +0000

An agenda? I don’t know what you mean.
But I very much support Kollel, I was in Kollel for eight years and I count myself among those who learn much better now outside of Kollel than within. I wasted a lot of time.
And not just on Tanach inyonim, on Gemara and halacha as well.
There should have been tests and a rigorous weeding-out process so only the serious would be there, and those who were there would be serious.
And don’t kid yourself, i was considered very good, even Rosh Chabura for two years.
But I know the truth about what I could have accomplished.

By: eli lev

eli lev — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:31:45 +0000

to #38 “a very aidel person… chooses to dress in a non-tznius fashion”
Oiy Veih !! go ask any talmud chacham he will tell u theres no such thing as a truly aidel person who dresses in a non-tznius fashion!! it’s a contadiction .
That person who dresses non tznius’dik is surely lacking eidel’keit in his character!! [although on the surface it may seem otherwise.] don’t be fooled!

By: Proud KAJ-WH TIDE Guy

Proud KAJ-WH TIDE Guy — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 20:27:21 +0000

People who dress tzniusdik don’t necessarily ACT that way. Tznius in behavior is just as important. And who are we to judge WHY Moshiach has not yet come? There is enough wrong with the world to make a l o n g list. We always look at the ‘other’ guy. The guy in the mirror IS the other guy.But it IS the responsibility of EVERY practicing Jew to know why he does things and how to properly do them.;and not just to brag to others how much better he can learn than the other fellow.

By: usbaers

usbaers — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:01:08 +0000

Thanks very much for all the divrei Torah generated by this (pertinent) posting! It was interesting to note how the original letter came about: because a Yeshivish man was approached by a Jew whose level of observance was different, who wanted to make a connection. That was a very positive occurence.
Now, although the tznius issue may seem only a divergence, if the “frummer” guy was dressed differently would this meeting have taken place? Also, there is more to being tzniusdik than simply how one dresses (although that’s a major part of it). It’s a matter of behavior and character, too. People can dress very tzniusdik and still act or talk pretty prust; but then the disconnect between look and action is very obvious, and more likely to be commented and possibly worked on. If a very aidel person for some reason chooses to dress in a non=tznius fashion, the disconnect is less obvious and to their detriment, because they are less likely to be taken at their true value, at least at first glance. (ANd they probably would be less likely to be approached by people such as the man on the train who started this whole post, and we all would miss out on communiques like this thread.)

By: eli lev

eli lev — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 11:12:41 +0000

#32 “the gentiles yesteryear blush”
halevai! there are gentiles & secular jews TODAY
who are appalled by the very “not-jewish” styles of dress. With all the talk today about kiruv – many secular jews dont understand how frum jews can dress the way they do. they are turned off…

By: rbsyid

rbsyid — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 11:02:47 +0000

To # 32: I can explain what #30 was saying.
It seems today that all of yiddishkeit hinges on dress.
Whether by the girls’ necklines and skirt lengths or by the boys looking yeshivish (hat and jacket) or else they must be on the fringe.

Yiddishkeit is about having a relationship with Hashem. There are 6 mitzvos that are “temidios” which means that we have to think about them the whole day. How about these?

The article here was about the fact that so many of us have forgotten what these fast days are about. The long galus combined with the current luxurious living and peace that we experience makes us forget what the true meaning of yiddishkeit is about.
A statement that if we had tznius all our problems would be over is silly.
If all of us would have a good relationship with Hashem then maybe this would bring about the achdus that we so lack to bring the geula but a statement about tznius was out of place here.
I would go further and say that if we would concentrate more on fixing the pnimius and inspiring the children to have a relationship with Hashem, most of the tznius issues would be solved because when you are close to Hashem tznius is natural.

By: gldmeier

gldmeier — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 10:48:18 +0000

I have a “custom” that if I cannot remember what the reasons for an upcoming fast are, I look it up before the fast. How shameful is it to fast and not know why!!
The Sefer Ha’Todaah (Book of our Heritage if you need the English version by R’ Eliyahu KiTov)is an easy resource to use. It is clear and easily understandable.