Comments on: Out Of The Mailbag – To YW Editor (Taken Advantage Of?)

By: Baal Boose

Baal Boose — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 16:03:37 +0000

I just thought of an idea i am certain you will like.
For every “order” they pick-up, in addition to the discounted bill, make a second bill showing the difference between what they paid and what you could have charged, and let them sign off as “no charge” or donation. Maybe even give you a tax deductible receipt.
PS This kind of tzedoka is what the gemorra refers to; Someone who wants to preserve his wealth should “Yita Eishel”. One explanation is do mitzvohs from your business itself.

By: dsmama

dsmama — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:41:44 +0000

As someone who used to work for a nonprofit tzedaka and arrange these kinds of events, I definitely advise you to speak up. In order to do the most good with the money we were able to raise, we would always ask our suppliers if they would be bale to lower the price, although I DO think it is bad to ask for something at the last minute.

I remember one time in particular with (surprisingle enough) the fellow who supplied food – we always asked him if he could lower the price, and he always did. One time, he finally said that the original price he quoted us was already deeply discounted – we had no idea. He was helping us out all along out of the goodness of his heart, but we didn’t realize and ended up looking like we were trying to squeeze him.

Especially since your rav paskened that you do so, call the person in charge of the tzedaka. Do this at a time when you are NOT working on a job for them. Tell him that you are happy to help support their work, which is why you always give them as much of a discount and free items as you can. Let him know that since you are giving them as much as you can, you are in an uncomfortable position when they ask additional discounts or free items. Also let them know that you need them to sign off on the final menu no less than 48-72 hours in advance, and there can be no changes after that. This includes all items you are bringing, and quantities. I have found this is pretty standard practice for caterers… explain to him that last minute changes puts too much of a strain on your staff and ends up costing you money.

You are doing a good thing, keep up the good work and don’t let the negativity of the y”h interfere.

By: musicoutlet

musicoutlet — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:18:20 +0000

About being taken advantage of here is one story for you.

A guy calls a friend of mine to deliver 6 BOXES from POINT A TO POINT B (65 MILES)
AND WHEN THE person making the delivery goes to the pick up he sees 6 warmers and 12 boxes and other stuff.

To make a long story short- the person who ordered my friend yells at the driver when he refuses to take the food and states 6 boxes and 6 warmers
(with food leaking all over the place)
is the same thing!

Well for an extra 30.00 or so it’s the same thing in my friends business.

A rov was called and paskened that the driver is not mechuyav to do the job because the job status (agreements)was not honest. A box is a box and a warmer with food in it is not a box but a warmer!

The person who called my friend was outraged as to how he can decide on a Friday afternoon to mess up a simcha and not deliver food etc etc.

The moral of the story is :

It’s not a good idea to lie,(job desription) steal (price based on job) & take advantage of a driver especially on a Friday afternoon!

By: Adrabah

Adrabah — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 04:39:33 +0000

ASHRAI CHELKOCH!!!!
We just need some more people like you, to bring MOSHIACH.
Just don’t be discouraged by all these people who are just out there to justify it to them selves for not doing Chesed themselves as if it is because of those bad people out there.
True that there are sometimes very inconsiderate people out there that will take advantage of people like you. One thing is very important to remember in such A case when we do any act of chesed, not to be discouraged by people like that.
But in your case I believe that this is not even the case true you know yourself how much you are going out of your way to do your kindness but the receiver on the other end might not even be aware of that, it is therefore important that you have an open talk with them. And if you’r afraid they might not come back to you and you might not be able to go on with your chesed, as unfortunate this might sound, but I believe that that there are enough people out there in dire need for your chesed that might even appreciate it a lot more

By: rbsyid

rbsyid — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 12:00:01 +0000

To all the readers,
One thing that we all need to remember: there is no Kapara for Chillul Hashem.
When a person gets chessed and then takes advantage of it tryi9ng to squeeze an extra item this creates a bad name for yidden and causes a Chillul Hashem.
Also, the services story above: this is a straight forward chillul Hashem.
P{eople who give themsleves all kind of heterim for stealing (especially when it is from Goyim!!!) are causing tremedous “Kitrug” on klal yisroel an Hashem Yerachem what the result of this is.
How about all those who “buy” equipment on the way to the mountains in the summer and then join the line on their way out to return these “used!!!” goods.
Do you think the stores are foolish?
This is all Chillul Hashem!!!!
Let us all start watching not only hopw the other yidden look (do they dress with black hats and jackets?) but rather how do we look in the eyes of others klapei shamayim.

By: smart2

smart2 — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:40:19 +0000

I would just like to tell you how chashuv and beautiful a mitzvah you are doing may hashem repay you double and triple may you have so much that you will give them all thay need.
Ashrecha VeTov Lach

By: Baal Boose

Baal Boose — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:01:04 +0000

That’s like when people come to colllect.
B”H i can give, but no matter how much or how little i give they argue with me for a little more.
How do they know how much i can afford?
( Sometimes they’re nice and offer to accept a post dated check.)

By: kishke

kishke — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 03:51:14 +0000

Just say no to the extras. Is that so difficult?

By: Porty

Porty — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 02:22:08 +0000

This is a sticky situation. First of all, how have you responded to these requests before? If you say “Sure” as though it is not a problem, it is understandable that they will keep asking.

I agree with #21 – saying something like, “(Name), I would love to give you the (cookies/soup/rolls) but I can’t today. If you can let me know a few days ahead of time next time, I am happy to help.” (Or something along those lines.)

Hatzlacha and may your chesed bring you only brachos.

By: mdlevine

mdlevine — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:13:42 +0000

2 quotes from the article/letter:

1) “I asked a sheilya and my rov said I should talk to the person in charge and bring it to their attention.”

and

2) “I would love some feed back from readers.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK- here is my feedback — Go back and read the first quote that I cut and pasted from your letter.

being as you are a business person and know the value of talking properly to customers, I am sure that you will find the right words to explain to the organization the situation that you are in. don’t rush, write it out, rehearse it, re-write it, and deliver when ready.

hatzlohca rabba
(and can you send over a few cookies for the advice)