Comments on: Out Of The Mailbag – To YW Editor (Infertility Crisis)

By: yeshiva guy 44

yeshiva guy 44 — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:31:02 +0000

#10- chill out, man. Don’t make problems from nothing.

By: annonymous

annonymous — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:52:29 +0000

im sorry but this is NOT untznius. its an issue that needs to be discussed. we cant have anyone staring at people just because they arent the way they are. someone before asked if the person who wrote that its untznius ever learned masechet nidda. he has a point and if you think its not tznius than what did you say to your rabbi when you learned gemara and chumash??

By: shtark

shtark — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:47:02 +0000

Your words are so true!

By: Here4U

Here4U — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:17:16 +0000

But many of you conveniently fail to examine the larger issue. ” The pressures of today’s society are enough to drive a couple apart “. If a frum woman is saying that the “frum society” is pressuring her, we must look inward and ask ourselves and rabbbanim whether our religious priorities and lifestyle are not inculcating the wrong priorities. Do her words suggest that she feels respected or loved by other frum women,or by our “frum” brethren ? Pardon me but you all sound so self-righteous when you say how you’ll daven for her welfare rather than deal with the obvious lack of ahavas yisrael. Perhaps, she is telling us that the mitvah of p’ru urevu is never greater than ahavas Yisrael ? I thank G-d I don’t live in a yeshivish community like Lakewood !

By: Truehonesty

Truehonesty — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:28:04 +0000

BH I have children and didnt go thru one of the hardest nisyonos of today’s day and age. I have family who unfortunately did and I can understand all the points raised in your beautiful and well written letter. Perhaps I can ask your advice as to how you feel we should behave – when we come to visit should we bing the kids? Or not? When a kid is unwell should we mention it? When a kid does something cute do you want to know?

I ask because from personal experience whatever we did was wrong – if we brought the kids we were agravating their pain, if we didnt then we were making them into rachmaniyos. If we mentioned something to do with the kids we were rubbing it in, if we didnt and they heard from other sources then why didnt we say something etc etc.

Yes, we took it well and with understanding and we didnt get offended and we just swallowed it all but it was hard for us too. What should/could we have done?

By: worker

worker — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:25:49 +0000

53, i was in the parsha more than once (with first time and secondary (don’t want to go into details here)and I know someone in the parshah doesn’t want advice, but wants empathy, but i wanted to share what helped, and if you want to try it, go ahead, if not that is your choice. sorry if i came across in an offensive way.

By: rebshimon

rebshimon — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:03:59 +0000

interesting! yes I was in the “parsha” many years. Going through infertility is no fun, to say the least,but all of you bare in mind nobody’s here to hurt anyone,usually when an inappropiate comment is said the person saying it feels worse than anyone else. but in any case you do not have to be alone in this ‘A.T.I.M.E. offers the couple tremendous amount of chizuk the founders of this organization are the true understanding couple for anyone facing infertility , they have gone through it all by them selves. on another note for people struggling with the financial aspect of this I woild love to see balei batim and givurim taking indivdual couples and sponsoring them privately. I cannot tell anyone the tzar of being “qualified” to get funds to cover infertility ,I don’t think anyone notices the fine lines of all these hundreds of ads of all the hundreds of fundraisers for “the couple who qualifies ” the busha that we have been put through only to be declined because we didn’t have the right protekzia, or maybe didn;t have that rich uncle who gave to that and that organization, that is called pain when yes we are being very exposed just to fundraise and I run in a the true “infertile community” only we really kow the truth can someone do something about it? tachlis, don’t fundraise on our cheshben and then turn us down because we don’t qualify,(we both work very hard and trust me we don’t own a house and have no savings account.}

By: My.02

My.02 — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:46:08 +0000

#74 – perhaps, but the Achzarious got to me. Responding to the nature of the letter, he should not have used this occasion to be preaching about his version of Tznius – not to mention that a person who is THAT makpid about harmless words such a those “pregnancy” or “stomach” ,would not be caught within miles of surfing the internet. Surely its a lot more Treif.

If he was that concerned, he should have asked the editor a private note.

Bieng a Naval BirShus Hatorah – is still being a Naval. Shame on him!

By: mashgiachruchni

mashgiachruchni — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:13:59 +0000

Dear Writer,
I feel with you – but youre friends dont mean to harm you , by talking about there children if they wouldn’t you would say they are avioding it, and whats wrong with them asking you wats doing -so they are doomed either way they put it. Why don’t you try another way of dealing with it instead of staying in you house and moping when you husband leavs go over to your friend , help her with the kids laugh at the cute things they say and do ,and at the same time you’ll be getting a big mitzvah , or just having a good time with an old friend its not worth loseing a friend because she liveing her life she doesn’t mean to harm you in any way. Its all about how you deal with it -no ,no one will choose it but try to make the best of it go out -and be carefree -because IY”H it wont last too much longer thiers a light at the end of the tunnel!!! thiers alot of hope keep strong your doing a great job.My mother once told me if a single girl knew that she would get married at age -25-27-31 she would make the most of it .If a married lady knew that she would have a child 3- 5 -8 years after shes married she’d make the most of it too . I’m not saying its easy for either party , but by the way no one asked you this is your package accept it with love -even though it may seem like the grass is greener on the other side “STAY STRONG YOUR FAMILY & FRINDS LOVE YOU & DONT MEAN TO HURT YOU IN ANY WAY” May all of klall yiroel see their yeshuos speedely

By: jewish prince

jewish prince — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:36:41 +0000

When my daughter wasn’t zocher to start a family after about two and a half years I started to examine myself and try to think if there was anyone who might have anything against me or anyone close to my family.I realised that there was someone who might have some ill feelings towards myself in particular. Even though it was very, very hard as I didnt feel that I was to blame for that person feeling hurt I went out of my way to make up and each time I went the extra mile and was made to feel very hurt and very low I felt so happy as I hoped that this would help my childrens situation. Boruch Hashem my daughter soon after told us good news!! The morale of the story is that making peace even when it really hurts brings yeshuos.