Comments on: Out Of The Mailbag: (Be Nice, Think Twice)

By: goofy

goofy — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 04:44:02 +0000

To the writer:
The truth is, nobody can really feel your pain as much as you do, and nobody can really offer solace. The one thing you need is a job, and only that will cure you of the pain. Even if people weren’t directly insensitive, tiny comments, even unintended, would remind you of it all, and it would really hurt.
For my own situations, I’ve found that a strong relationship with Hashem really helps. When people start making less and less sense to you, you turn to Hashem and put it all into a good chapter of Tehillim. And the pain goes away, because you know it is being taken care of.

By: avrahambentzvi

avrahambentzvi — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 05:17:58 +0000

Attn: Feivel, comment#8

Where did you learn that a person work on their middos to accept tzar from another? Please use exact quotes, otherwise, what you are doing is #1 blaming the victim for the insensitivity of others & #2 uprooting the Torah concept of Onaas D’varim, when your words make someone else feel bad. D’oraysoh.

One is not even m’chuyav to accept tzar from a parent altz kibud av v’eim; how would another person be any better than a parent. The gmara gives a case of how a person shouldn’t say “where do I hang up my coat” in the home of someone who had a relative hung by the government.

You are talking frum, but being not only highly insensitive, but you advice is a perversion of the rachmanus that yidden are supposed to have. How dare you tell someone who is suffering from the unthinking comments of others that they need to work on themselves. If you really believe that, you need to work on yourself!!!

By: Chet @ Lubaa

Chet @ Lubaa — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:47:11 +0000

Since I know YOU, and YOU know ME,
My only advice to you at the moment would be,
A solution in the meantime, I’d say quite easy,
during my “BORING WORK DAY” to keep me company,
A one-girl office could be sort of lonely,
And even more that there’s a knowledge to me,
At the time I am walking to work, you’re still in bed, so cuddly,
Now the tables are turned, don’t you see,
who is rather designed to have that glorifying feeling of self-pity?????

By: thinktwicebenice

thinktwicebenice — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:11:22 +0000

Just checking up on my letter. I have to say, the last few comments have been really encouraging.
(especially after I got another one today. -When I told a family member that I don’t possess an air conditioner yet due to lack of money, she replied, “Hust ah breira.. don’t be so picky.”)

By: mdlevine

mdlevine — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:10:51 +0000

#34 musicoutlet:

I worked for a very large international company – at one point with well over 100,000 employees. here are some examples of why some of my non-jewish co-workers/employees came in late or missed worked (unplanned)

a) my kid missed his bus
b) I had to take him to the doctor
c) he forgot his lunch at home
d) My kid is sick
e) the baby sitter did not show up on time
f) my car broke down
g) I could not find a parking spot (we were in suburbia so this one doesn’t apply) Traffic was terrible was more utilized
h) I had a party last night and did not come home until…….
I) I had a doctors appt.
j) I’m having a baby…
k) maternity leave……
L) my kid has a graduation (yes, from kindergarten.

oh, the list goes on and on and on and…

wow – isn’t this list similiar to yours – amazing!

By: maidelfromlakewood

maidelfromlakewood — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:54:32 +0000

I totally agree with you. I just got employed after being around for 2 whole months w/o a job. I got the most hateful comments – you are being lazy, you just don’t want to work, you’re not looking hard enough…etc. I just started working on Monday and BH it has been going great so far. Yes, i enjoyed my time while i wasn’t working, making the best of the situation, BUT the nasty and disgusting comments were terrible. One girl told me- It’s just because you don’t have patience to work. How nasty could that be, as i sit at home every day bored stiff? Yes people should think before they talk, even if they are joking to their friends. There is truth behind every joke and it really hurts. Good luck finding a job and Hatzlacha! Don’t let those insensitive people hurt you. Just learn that you should think before you speak next time. All the best.

By: imrei sheker

imrei sheker — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:29:26 +0000

#50: you are right on the money. Since when does entry-level mean 2 years experience in the field? There really aren’t any jobs other than sales jobs that are willing to train. Unfortunately the way the market is today even those entry-level jobs looking for 2 years experience are being filled by people with 5 years experience willing to take a pay cut. Hopefully all of us struggling to find jobs will be zoche to find position very soon.

By: anon for this

anon for this — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:24:34 +0000

proudyid, doctors usually start working as part of their training while they’re in medical school. During that time, not only are they unpaid, but they are paying medical school tuition for the privilege of receiving that training. Then they work for 3 or more years as residents, during which time they are paid a relatively small salary that generally works out to less than minimum wage, when divided by the number of hours worked.

As far as other professions are concerned, sometimes there are unpaid internships available.

I’m not looking for a job now, but in the past when I was looking I did encounter many comments that I didn’t appreciate, so I can definitely empathize with the original poster. Looking back, I realize that not all were badly intended. It’s just that even generally nice people sometimes say stupid things, or say well-meant comments in stupid ways. One woman said, “I can’t believe you haven’t found a job yet!” which I found insulting; when I knew her better, I realized that she thought I was so well-qualified she thought I could find a job easily.

By: squeak

squeak — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:48:38 +0000

#18: Writer for who? I don’t think that the Yated pays the writers of those humorous letters (really not).

#31: A Classic!

By: proudyid

proudyid — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:07:24 +0000

and another thing-its seems like every employer wants candidates with experience-HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE WHEN NOBODY WILL LET YOU START SOMEWHERE??? DON’T DOCTORS HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE, AS WELL AS WORKERS IN EVERY OTHER PROFESSION?