BY Michal Eisikowitz

STAMFORD, CON

NECTICUT—On Friday, May 15, over forty high school mechanchos gathered at the

annual Torah Umesorah convention in Stamford, Connecticut to learn about a new program designed to

ensure the personal and physical safety of seminary girls. Created by Debbie Fox, LCSW, founder of

Safety Kid and a well-known activist in safety education, the interactive workshop is based on content

laid out in Fox’s recently released guidebook, Seminary Savvy.

“We have three goals for this program,” said Bais Yaakov of Toronto 11th grade mechaneches Mrs.

Chana Leah Rapoport, who co-pre

teacher, Ms. Penina Fox. “Prevention, intervention, and validation.”sented with Mrs. Fox, along with prominent Los Angeles high school

In her introduction, Mrs. Rapoport gave a brief overview of topics covered in the book that would not be

discussed during the short convention session: safe travel and transportation, Shabbos visiting, curfew,

security issues, boundaries with young couples, and interacting appropriately on the go.

The popular mechaneches then continued into the importance of self-care in seminary: proper nutrition,

adequate sleep, and self-validation of normal homesickness.

“Many girls seriously neglect their physical and emotional health in seminary,” Mrs. Rapoport explained

to the crowd. “They are overcome with exhaustion, but they feel intense pressure to stay up

late—again. They feel homesick, but they’re embarrassed to admit it—so they bottle up. These things

take a toll.”

Social worker Debbie Fox continued with a discussion on the inner voice—the gut instinct—and the need

to empower girls to take their “comfort level temperature.” When the niggling inner voice says “this

doesn’t feel right,” stressed Mrs. Fox, girls must know to reach out to a trusted adult: a trusted person in

their life designated prior to seminary. Ms. Penina Fox delineated the many critical qualities girls must

ascertain when choosing this trusted adult, such as “respected my privacy in the past” and “makes me

feel safe.”

Mrs. Rapoport presented the segment on appropriate interactions with men, shedding light on the

grooming process that generally takes place before an abusive incident. Some of the primary principles

that emerged were: Halacha is not negotiable, relationships are not a secret, and not everything is an

outright violation of halachah—but that doesn’t make it okay. With regard to interactions between girls,

she emphasized the need to evaluate the propriety of a relationship using the F.I.D. scale: frequency,

intensity, and duration.

Following these presentations, Mrs. Rapoport and Ms. Fox role-played two lifelike scenarios, portraying

the struggles of two girls who became aware of information “too big” for them and didn’t know how to

handle it. For each scenario, the teachers demonstrated the wrong and right response, illustrating both

how the girl and “trusted adult” should—and shouldn’t—react when approached with the information.

To wrap up the session with a memorable concept review, the presenters distributed specially-printed

tefillas haderech cards featuring seminary safety ABC’s on the back, such A – Ask Yourself, B – Bring a

Friend, C – Check First, and several more.

Throughout the workshop, the audience seemed engaged and receptive.

“I think they were impressed by the manner in which sensitive information was handed over in a

comfortable, informative way,” says Mrs. Rapoport.

Feedback and questions piled in long after the session was over. “We were overwhelmed,” says Debbie

Fox. “We had both male and female educators coming over to us the entire Shabbos to ask questions.”

One father, whose wife—a high school teacher—attended the session and obtained a recording,

emailed the coordinators hours later with a request to schedule a workshop in his hometown for girls

this month.

“This workshop is far too valuable to not present to our girls,” he wrote.

Debbie Fox is gratified by the response. “Prevention is my passion,” she says. “I am thrilled to be

partnering with parents and educators in protecting our most valuable assets: the children of Klal

Yisrael.”

Seminary Savvy is now available at www.menuchapublishers.com and local bookstores. For more information

about targeted safety workshops for seminary girls and their parents, visit www.seminarysavvy.org , email

[email protected], or call (866) 762-0101.