I found that it is not just pop culture that says that men should be strong and accept abuse (“big boys don’t cry”), but also some frum sources say that also.
In the Garden of Peace, translated by R’ Lazer Brody, it says that the way a wife acts is a mirror to the man’s spirituality. That is, if she is mean to him, then he is to blame. He should be more spiritually perfect. It was his shortcomings that caused her (through Hashem hand) to become angry, mean, etc. Nor should a man have any physical desires for his wife. If he does, she will reject him. What I understand from that is that a man is supposed to be an angel, regardless of his wife’s abuse, because it’s all his fault. <sarcasm> I’m glad to know that my wife has no free will, nor any human imperfections. </sarcasm>