DaasYochid,
Avram, I thinking telling the rabbi a whole megillah about a policy not to eat in others’ homes unless she knows them well would insult him. At this point, I think the less said, the better.
You’re probably right about that in this case – what’s done is done, he’s probably not losing sleep over it, and nothing more needs to be said Saying something may even stir up issues that otherwise would not have arisen. I suggested saying something about a neutral policy in the case that the OP felt like she had to say something, but perhaps the same idea can be pared down with fewer words.
What approach would you recommend a person in this situation take before the fact, e.g., if you get invited to a meal, or asked if you’d eat at someone’s house? Do you think explaining a policy like I described would be a good idea (maybe the explanation can be shortened), or do you think just making circumstantial “sorry, I’m busy that day” refusals is good enough? The problem I see with circumstantial refusals is that sometimes the prospective host will become persistent in order to appear friendly (How about next week? No? Tuesday the 14th? No? Anytime in March?).