I dont remember the entire Ramban offhand, (perhaps some seminary graduate here can cite it verbatim – now that I think about it, it might not be th Ramban either), but he focuses on the word “Lireacha”and the fact that it doesnt simply say Viahavta Es Reacha kamocha. The “li” implies someting active on your part. Do things for him, that you would do for yourself and dont do things to him that you wont want done to yourself. In your scenario it seems that reuven is just an egotistical maniac and is abusing the passuk to suit his needs. If you think about the next person and their needs you will do what suits them, not what you know works for you and therefore decide works for them.
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