Imho, you shouldn’t suggest a shidduch without having any idea if it’s shayach. You’re just wasting people’s time and possibly insulting them.”
And I DISAGREE. Ideally, you should have known about the boy before redting the shidduch, but there is still a level of hishtadlus that the girl and her family could also do, and having done so, decided it was not shayach. End of story. If people always hesitated to mention names because they don’t personally know the party, no one would get married. THIS IS CALLED NETWORKING. We need to relax a little. And certainly no one should be offended.
In my dating years, my Rebbetzin suggested a shidduch to me of a member of her family, whom she had not seen in over a decade. Because it was my Rebbetzin, I said yes. The boy took his yarmulke off as soon as we got to our destination. When I questioned him about it, he said, he never wears it in public unless he is eating, because of the Goyim. I told him he was perfectly safe in my neighborhood and in general, in those days, but ended the date relatively quickly (he wasn’t for me anyway even if he had kept the yarmulke on), and told the Rebbetzin that although he was a nice person, hashkafically there was a serious issue, and she might want to check further before setting him up again. I was not insulted. She meant well.