Oomis, you’re very lucky that when you dated the boy your Rebbetzin suggested, he took his yarmulke off. A lot of people with serious problems (religious issues, health issues, emotional issues and others) don’t make such a clear display of them on a first date (or unfortunately sometimes even a tenth date).”
I agree, but he was her mishpacha, and she had every reason to expect that religiously he was as she remembered him. If someone close to our family, but who had not seen us in a few years, were to call me about one of my children and ask if he or she was still shomer Shabbos and mitzvos, I would be highly offended. She had no reason to suspect her nephew was doing such a thing. Once I mentioned “hashkafic issues” and she knew he certainly had not gone more Yeshivish, she came to realize that his behavior bore greater scrutiny before setting him up with anyone else.
The OP ONLY mentioned the name to the girl. It was up to the girl to check things out further, if that was her wish. Certainly she should have NO tainah to the OP, who in my opinion, was very caring to think of her friend, even if it might not have been so shayach in the end. That’s because it just as easily MIGHT have been VERY shayach!!! I wish people would stop standing on ceremony and being insulted all the time by people who are usually well-intentioned. The road to Olam Haba is paved with good intentions.