that’s why it would be good if the girl described in the OP is a Yoetzet. Hopefully she would be a good one.
The story in the OP describes nothing but her hasmadah, and doesn’t discuss her hashkafos, her character, or her sensibility.
There’s nothing in the story I related (which was similar to popa’s and is probably the same story) that indicted that the yoetzet was a lazy person. She might have been a big masmidah.
As Logician pointed out, the husbands are often involved, and of course there’s bias, but why should the husband be any more unconformable asking a rov than the wife asking a yoetzet? (Yes, I know you mentioned second hand, but that really makes little sense if you think about it.)
And yes, some male rabbonim are horrible. I shudder at the though of people relying on them for psak. It’s why I hesitate to post “AYLOR”; I’m afraid of to whom I may be referring, but why add an unnecessary layer of potential am haaratzus and bias?